i new i was adopted when i was 8 but i want to look for my family but i dont know how or where to start. and my adopted mom does not love me or talk to me or what me to be her daughter.
2006-11-24 16:05:01 · 23 answers · asked by Amiee K 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
how do you know she doesnt love/want/wanna talk to u? u dont even know her! you could have been put up for adoption for any number of reasons. dont jump to conclusions. talk to your mom (adopted mom) and find out her name and where shes from and so on and look it up online.
good luck
2006-11-24 16:07:19 · answer #1 · answered by annie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry I don't buy your statement. You were not adopted because they didn't want you I am sure they adopted you because they loved you. It takes a lot to adopt a child, a lot of paperwork, and one or both of your adopted parents are checked up on, from employment history to how they treat each other, family and friends.
So to say they did not love you is unfair even if you are having a argument with them.
They may be unfair in your eyes and sometimes they have to be because being a parent is not being your best friend it is about looking out for you.
Trying to find your paternal parent the one that gave you up is a waste of time. Think about it they gave you up, the parents you have now had to do a lot to get you. To me there is no choice.
I think there is more to this than what you are stating, and remember regardless of what anyone states there is always two sides to most arguments, and or disagreements. which means there is your side your moms side and the truth between both of them.
2006-11-24 16:37:51 · answer #2 · answered by John E 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your adopted mom is probably going through some things right now; it doesn't mean she doesn't love you. You don't say how old you are now, but I know how much this bugs you. I discovered when I was much older than you that my parents couldn't have been my parents because of blood types. They're both dead now, but I discovered that I was switched at birth; I learned that my birth parents are also dead, but I met the one I was switched with and am going to meet my "real" siblings. It takes a LOT of research to find your birth family when it's a closed adoption and you may have to petition the court. Your birth mom wanted a better life for you than she could give you, and she thinks about you every day, I guarantee it, so don't judge her. Hang in there, be patient, and be kind to your mom; she's the only mom you've known. And she DOES love you!
2006-11-24 16:20:51 · answer #3 · answered by jdaylily 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where were you born? I have access to some birth records for a few states. I'm an adoptive mom, please go and talk to your "mom" she is your "mom".. She may not have given birth to you, but she was the one who has taken care of you. Taking you to the doctors when you were sick, was there for you when you were sick. She is the one who has watched you grow and has met your needs. I think in all adopted kids there is something missing from the past. Don't let that get in the way of your relationship with your "mom".
Cherish what you have, it could have been worse. You could have grown up in foster care and had been bounced from one home to another. A lot of the kids that grow up in foster care and are bounced around, have severe attachment and bonding issues. Not all of them though. I just want to state that for the record "some not all". The grass is never greener on the other side.... You can email me from my profile with your info if you would like me to look up the birth index for you. Just remember it doesn't cover every state. Also have you sent away for your non-id information???
2006-11-24 17:30:47 · answer #4 · answered by duh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would encourage you to speak to a school counsellor and tell him or her you would like to speak to professional about this. When you are a child, you have no power and it's sad to feel unwanted. It has nothing to do with you and your step-mom or your mom. First finding your "real" mom might not be the answer. You need to get some love and support in your life and a counsellor will help you with your feelings and help you understand what some grown-ups are like. "Real" Mom's sometimes are not the answer. The counsellor will give you someone to talk to and also help you get into some fun groups where you will get the attention and support you need. Also I would recommend that if someone wants to speak to you personally through the Yahoo! messaging, mail or 360, do not answer them. Sometimes Mom's are hard on their children because they know how hard the world is and they want you to be prepared for it. So they discipline you when sometimes you don't deserve it and sometimes what they do is unfair. But it doesn't necessarily mean she doesn't want you. Remember no one is perfect and your step Mom is giving a place to live, food and a safe place to live. She may care for you more than you know, your adopted Mom may love you more than you know. But you should definetely speak to a counsellor, she will be able to help you understand your feelings.
2006-11-24 16:37:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear that. Start with the hospital where you were born, or the city where you were born. Got to that town's City Hall to look at birth records. Try the adoption agency your adoptive mother went to. Ancestry.com is also good. I went on there and found my grandmother's great-great grandmother. Good luck with everything.
2006-11-24 16:10:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you so sure your adopted mom doesn't want you? Ask youreself, if she doesn't want you, why did she adopt you? She loves you, get of the computer and go talk to her. Then ask her for information, and you can start from there.
2006-11-24 16:31:13 · answer #7 · answered by Answer Givererer. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old are you? I think you have to be 18 to look for your birth mother. You can ask your mom to see your adoption papers. She might even help you in your search.
2006-11-24 16:11:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all how old are you? my daughter always knew she was adopted by her father, in her teens when she was very angry at her dad ..... she wanted to find her birth father.... i gave her the info and she never acted on it. she is now in her 30's and one day I ask her about it. she told me that she was just a stubborn teen and she has no emptiness in her life so she has no need to look for a man who had no room for her in his life from the beginning. your mom may be afraid to talk to you for fear of losing you or you running. You may be assuming too much by saying that she does not love you. TALK TO HER!!!!
2006-11-24 16:16:48 · answer #9 · answered by grannee 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why would you want to meet someone that wants nothing to do with you? You deserve more than that....even your birth mom knew you were worth it because she gave you up for adoption. That was a very heroic thing she did.
2006-11-24 16:08:22 · answer #10 · answered by Katherine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋