Tell me what's missing?

Question

My mother and father are literally stuck on my *** all the time. I don't know what to do. They always want to know where I'm going, who I'm with, any guys that will be attending. EVERYTHING.. I think it is because about a year ago I went with a boy to the movies and things happened. It completely shattered their trust and I felt terrible, but yet, it made me want to rebel more. Every wall they put up, I miserably smash it down.

What do I do?

By the way,

I'm a fourteen year old girl.

And don't worry, nothing at the movies was promiscous.

I may be untrustworthy, but I'm not a tramp.

-sigh-

I'm not saying it's terrible to live with my parents, I love them to death.

I'm just curious on how to earn their trust back.

Answer 1

Sure parents can seem like a pain in the @ss at times, but all they really want is what's best for you. Keep this in mind, the more walls you smash down, the more walls they will put up. You broke there trust sure, but that doesn't mean you can't get it (and more freedom/space) back in time.

Answer 2

Trust is something that is earned....not lightly given.

Parents initially trust their children until given cause to question that amount of trust such as the easy swaying of peers or relationships.

You must remember that parents were once youngsters and most have seen many things in their lifetime including similar things to which you must go thru as a young person, therefore causing doubleconcern about certain issues.
Then you throw caution to the wind......and are surprised that you are questioned more than before?

Be patient and give it some time.
Continue to show them that that was indeed error and that you can again be trusted.
If there are issues where you share concerns also, talk with them about it for there can be liberties and gameplans worked out too.

Trust them - they love you!

Best wishes to all of you.

Answer 3

Well I would say you have to prove to them that they can trust you. You have to remember you are only 14 and legally a minor and living under their roof. They support you, buy your clothes, pay for your schooling, feed you, etc etc etc. It is something called respect. I know you are young and think you are invincible but they love you and don't want to see you hurt.

My parents were strict and I hated it at your age but take it from me, I am very happy they were. I didn't end up pregnant, into drugs, in jail, a drunk, etc. In fact, when I have children I will probably raise them the same way. I am very thankful my parents raised me the way they did. You will to when you get older.

Just take it one day at a time, sit down and talk to them about things and be open w/them (respectfully as possible) and I am sure you guys can work something out.

Good luck!!!

Answer 4

with all the kids in this world who don't have parents on their butts consider yourself lucky that they love you so much and care about you ... your 14 ... you are a child ... you live under their rules, in thier house, if you continue to rebel and be a brat it won't change anything .... they will still love & care about you.

what ever happened at the movies last year when you were 13 ... happened and now move past it ... you want to prove your old enough to be trustworthy ... how about start acting more like an adult than a 7 yr old child ...

it must be so terrible for you to live w/ parents who care and love you ... maybe you should trade lives w/ the child who gets beat every night and starves

Answer 5

give it time because earning peoples trust back takes some time...the best thing to do is sit down with the folks and have a heart to heart talk,,,tell them your sorry and explain what u want to do to make things better between the three of u, more than likely your parents dont want to be constantly nagging u .. parents set limits for a reason, which is to keep u outta trouble. when i was your age (i am 20 now) i thought that i new all there was to know, but looking back now i realize on many occations if i just had of listend to my mom and dad i would of saved myself some trouble... im sure your parents dont exspect you to be perfect, and they know people learn from there mistakes, just like they do .. how ever make sure u arent making the same mistake over and over again....good luck and things get better as u go,,, i use do dispise my mom and now her and i are best firends

Answer 6

They are doing their job. Even if you don't like it now, you'll be glad they stayed on your a**. Why shouldn't they want to know? Why can't they know what you are up to? Are you up to something that you wouldn't want them to know? Then there's your answer right there: THEY CAN'T TRUST YOU! You need to give it time, eventually they might trust you again, just don't fight with them. They are the parents and you are their child. They can't just let you go do "things" in movie theaters if you're under 18. And one more thing, being nice to your parents always helps!

Answer 7

Im not sure how old you are but Im guessing still quite young.
Your mum & dad (believe it or not) really want to make sure you are ok - they hear such terrible things happening to young girls and it really scares them.
You should really try to go along with their rules and Im sure you will find that in time they will slowly relax and trust you much more. The more you rebel that harder things will be for you in the long run.

Answer 8

COMMUNICATION AND TRUST. BUT I'M HAPPY TO SEE THAT THERE IS A LOT OF LOVE IN YOUR FAMILY. THEY WANT YOU SAFE AND HAPPY . MAYBE YOU AND YOUR FAMILY CAN PICK ONE DAY A WEEK TO TALK ABOUT YOUR GOALS AND YOUR VIEWS ON THINGS SO THAT THEY CAN GET TO REALLY KNOW YOU. IF YOU DON'T TALK ABOUT THOSE THINGS AND ALL THE CHANGES AND FEELINGS THAT YOU EXPERIENCE AS YOUR GROWING OLDER, THEY WILL SEE ONLY THE CHILD THAT THEY KNOW. IF YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO START HAVING MORE FREEDOM TO GO OUT, THIS MIGHT SOUND LAME TO YOU BUT I THINK IF YOU START TO REALLY PICTURE WHAT YOU WANT IN YOUR FUTURE AND WHAT YOU DON'T WANT. THIS IS ONLY AN EXAMPLE- HAVING A BABY OR YOUR DREAM JOB. ONCE YOU MAKE YOUR DECISION , DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO TO STICK TO IT AND ACHIEVE THAT GOAL AND WHEN YOU TALK TO YOUR PARENTS ABOUT THINGS, THEY WILL SEE THAT YOU ARE GROWN UP ENOUGH TO THINK THINGS THROUGH FIRST. AND THAT WILL START THE TRUST FLOWING. IT IS NOT EASY TO TALK OPENLY WITH YOUR PARENTS, BUT IT IS THE BEST WAY TO SHOW THEM THAT YOU ARE BECOMING MORE RESPONSIBLE AND THEY WILL LOOSEN THEIR HOLD. I GUESS YOU COULD LOOK AT IT LIKE THIS, A TEACHER TEACHES THE STUDENT AND THE STUDENT TAKES A TEST TO SHOW THAT SHE HAS LEARNED WHAT SHE NEEDS TO KNOW FOR HER FUTURE. IT'S THE SAME IN A FAMILY, ONLY WITH MORE LOVE AND EMOTIONS. GOOD LUCK AND BEST WISHES.

Answer 9

aiyah. me too. mayn i literally have to sleep with my parents. seriously, they make me sleep in their room. i don't even have my own room. so don't even talk about freedom, i don't even have privacy. that means i truely understand how you feel.

hmm... what happened with that boy at the movies? if something really really serious happened, then no wonder your parents are all on you. if nothing serious happened, maybe just a kiss with the boy, then you should talk to your parents about it. say: "i was young, i didn't know what i was doing. but i know. you guys always watching on me. i find it hard to breathe:"

make promises with them and keep them. maybe like call home when you have go somewhere with your friends and return home on time. tell them honestly who you are going out with. and no boys currently!! and hang out with only nice girls. you have to ear their trust back first. then you can go out to the movies or out to dinner with boys. but don't do anything stupid or wild or anything. good luck ;)

Answer 10

You live under their house and their money pays the bills to keep you warm and fed. Try to get along under their rules...you have no one to blame but yourself. Consider yourself lucky that your parents love you enough to ask. Many kids are running around or getting beat on a nightly basis.