What can I do?

Question

My situation...I'm a single mom of a baby; her dad is out of the picture and doesn't pay child support; His family also doesn't care about her;
I'm an only child; very poor body image; suffering from depression/emotional problems; brink of losing my sanity;
my mom is controlling, overbearing etc; she's divorced; don't see my dad much; don't know my other relatives cause they live very far away and they're not in my life; I have really bogus "friends";

Rejected/ignored/teased/disrespected... by many, many people since I was a teen.

An acquaintance once told me "sucks to be you". Am I a loser? What can I do NOT to feel this way?
ONLY SERIOUS REPLIES PLEASE

Answer 1

First of all, kick that "aquaintance" in the butt hard! Second, maybe you should join a support group for single parents.

Answer 2

You're struggling with too much and you need to share the load a little bit. You should call a counseling center and scedule an assesment. Considering that the road may be a little bit longer than you probably think you can bear, you need to talk with someone about it. At least that way when life hits you, you'll have some tools to help you roll with it better. It'll be fine, until you can talk with someone just try not to get upset by thinking too much. And when I was in real trouble I always called 1-800-999-9999, don't know if it still works it's been like 2 years, but the point is call someone. Things will get better.

Answer 3

HI Fushcia, I feel your pain too. I'm a single dad with my son's mother out of the picture on drugs. It can be very depressing to be a single parent with very little emotional and financial support. First off F'##$ those people who put you down. It's very apparent that you are a good person by taking on the resposibility of being a mom. And the people that are putting you down are either jealous or just liitle kids. I went through alot of the same crap. I realized I had to find the mature crowd to get better guidance from. Next I needed to find and most of all love myself. Once I started to pat myself on the back more and change my behavior and enviroment, things changed for the better. Prayer helps alot too,as for the controlling mother, make a stand and committ to your own choices. What I do now is if I don't like the way th ings are going I make a change to try and better my life. It is not easy being a single mom but you are doing this for your child who has no one but you. Try to pray for guidance through your day, God will help you if you just beleive,trust me God saved my life! C-ya a single dad.

Answer 4

How can you actually believe that it "sucks to be you," when you have brought a new life into the world?

I have a very poor self-image, and have severe depression ("double depression"), PTSD, etc; I have numerous physical problems and not a happy person.

However, this little baby came into our lives - my stepson (that I do not get along with) adopted this baby at birth (long story). Before you say how nice he was to adopt, he did it out of greed. Eventually, I ended up babysitting my grandson, and to make a long story short, he started growing before my eyes. He is five now and he talks non-stop, lol.

My whole point to this is that, I was always teased in my life, etc. like you were, and even though I babysat him a lot, I did not think he much cared about me until he sang me this little made up song of his. He was SO SERIOUS singing it to me, making up the words as he went along about all I do for him, and how he loves to color with me, etc. Nothing rhymed and he is pretty tone deaf, lol, but I have to tell you: I bit my lip so hard to keep from crying in front of him.

Then I did the worst possible thing: I cried in front of him anyways. He came up to me, put his little arm around me, and said, "Its okay grandma, things just happen. I'll always be here for you. I love you no matter what. I'll always remember you...” (FIVE years old saying that stuff to me!), I was crying because I suddenly realized that I meant the whole world to him, and since then, I've gotten more songs from him, and all the stuff he's making in Kindergarten.

What was so strange is that he sounded like a little me, if that makes sense. It kind of scared me. Also, that he acted so adult like that night and he's only five. I did explain that I was crying because it was the most beautiful song I ever heard, which it was.

So, in answer to your question, what can you do to NOT feel this way? Well, you can look at that little child you brought into this world, and realize that you are all she has. One day, you will see that - as long as you continue giving her love. Stop worrying about what others say and what they think and concentrate on her. She won’t let you down, and she will be your best medicine for depression.

Answer 5

OK first you have to take responsability for your life. If you don't like your life YOU are the only one who can change it. I had an overbearing father and I had to cut him out of my life for a while. I just moved and didn't tell him where I was or how to contact me. I cut him off totally. I know that may sound harsh but it was either him or me and I decided that nobody else would take care of me except ME. I had to do what was best for me. Counseling is a good idea but a better one is getting into a good Bible believing church.

Answer 6

You seriously need to find new people to have around you. You don't need to have people putting you down.

First, I suggest you going to the doctor and talking to him/her about this. They will probably say you are suffering from Post Partem Depression. There are plenty of medicines out there for this and you don't have to be on them forever. I would also ask your doctor if he would refer you to a counselor so you have someone positive to talk to. I would also consider moving away. It is obvious you have noone there that supports you so what would be the harm in moving where you don't know anyone for a fresh start.

Please see the doctor. These are normal feelings and you must get help. Best of luck to you!!

Answer 7

LET'S BACK UP TO YOUR FIRST SENTENCE. YOU ARE A MOM. THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT TO PORTRAY TO HER. ONCE YOU BECOME A PARENT, THIS KIND OF THING NEEDS TO GO INTO THE BACKGROUND. THINK ABOUT IT. IF YOU PRESENT YOURSELF AS A LOSER AND ACCEPT BEING DISRESPECTED, THEN SHE WILL LEARN THIS IS WHAT LIFE HAS TO OFFER FOR "ME". you HAVEN'T AN OPTION ANYMORE. BE STRONG FOR YOUR BABY GIRL. TEACH HER RIGHT OR PASS ON DYSFUNCTION. THE CHOICE IS YOURS. YOU ARE NOT A LOSER. YOU CAN'T BE; YOU HAVE A BEAUTIFUL BABY GIRL TO RAISE. IF YOU CHOOSE, YOU CAN DO IT.

Answer 8

your not a loser . you need to stop judging yourself by others standards. we all have made mistakes in our life but the trick to it is moving on in a positive direction. not dwelling on the negative.. someone will always put you down that is the way of people but you must look into yourself and see your beauty and assets and start moving in a better direction. stop listening to all that mess and start talking to yourself. if no one else is telling you how wonderful you are then you look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself. every day.. do something good for you like learn something new every day that makes you feel better.. meet new people .. change your outlook and change your circle and whos in it .. get out and learn about your surroundings.. learn what you like to do and want to be when you get your head straight.. but most important remember you are somebody special and somebody worth listening to .. you have a voice and an identy ... you have choices they may not be the ones you want but they are choices and you pick them every day if you dont like your life then start making better choices.. and understand you are responsible for your life no one else .. but you ... you decided for you now you may listen to others and make their choice that they have picked for you but it is still up to you to choose and if you choose the wrong one its on you not them .. because it is your choice and your final decision so its your responsiblity to choose what is right for you good luck on your life and i hope you find your happiness and your shinning north star to guide you (that north star is within you)

Answer 9

take pride in being the best mother you can be..............that's one of the greatest jobs in the world ... you have a chance to bond with your child ........ it's the best gift in the world.......if you can't handle things right now, think of what's best for your baby, then you need a plan to help yourself feel better .... no, you're not a loser....many of the people around you are (baby's father, family..it's pretty sad they're not around for you) good luck to you.......keep asking questions if you need to talk more..........

Answer 10

You are not aloser. get counselling. Are there any other mums in your area you can talk to? Try a church in your area? Hope you find some answers to your life. You need to find a a young mums group within your area.