my 4 year old wont do anything that you tell her too what do i do?

Question

i've tired time out, taking toys away, no t.v , or outside for the day.

Answer 1

But at the same time she is ordering you around, right? Just refuse to do what she wants. And when she gets all upset, explain to her (calmly) that Mommy is the one who makes the rules, not her. And stick by your rules. Don't give in to her to "keep peace". Your little Napoleon needs to find out who is boss.

Answer 2

These are all good, but let me ask you, how is your tone of voice?
Are you being firm in your voice tone when you are talking to your child?
Also, watch the words you are using.
Don't say "Go to the naughty chair and stay there until you behave yourself like a good boy/girl".
Say firmly, "Now, because you are disobedient/.....and name the wrong doing......I am going to have to put you over here because this is not acceptable and mummy isn't very happy about it.
Once you do this, don't turn your back and say "Shut up or be quiet" if they continue to scream, cry, yell.
Just ignore and walk away.
DON"T MAKE THREATS like, "no tv for a day or no play outside"
Threats don't work and they are not teaching your child to take responsibility for his/her behaviour.

Time out is the best way to teach them that their behaviour is wrong, however, when they are doing well, you need to
compliment them on their good behaviour.
Try interacting more with your child.
Spend time with him/her and set up games and activities that they enjoy. TV is no good for any child, even when you are busy.
Good luck!

Answer 3

I have had 4 children and each one of them is a individual with different temperaments. One of my suggestions is to look honestly at yourself. When you place boundaries and say or request that the child does or does not do something do you tell him/her what you will or won't do if he/she disobeys? And if you do tell your child, for instance, if you don't do that you will have a time out, do you follow through with your threats. Do you scream or yell at your child, that never works. Your child actually is a mirror to you and whoever else is there emotional climate in your home. If you act out, or your significant other acts out, or your relationship at home with hubby is full of stress and anger, your children will always mirror this behavior. You need to also stress rewards for good behavior and realistic punishments for bad behavior that are consistent and fair. Don't use your point system or whatever you do for rewards as a punishment. And also try to watch Nannie 911, this show really does bring up great examples of how and how not to raise your children. It's a tough job and most of us came into parenthood without a clue on what to do. We come with our own baggage of our own dysfunctional upbringing, and pass it on to our children. Join a parent support group too, if you feel very isolated. And hang in there, parenting is the toughest job ever. Use positive reward system, go to the library and find some great books on parenting. Good Luck.

Answer 4

Four year old's are striving for independence, which is as it should be, but it can be difficult to cope with them while they are doing it, but be patient, read all you can about Child Development & Child Psychology, try reverse psychology (I bet you can't get your shoes on before I count to ten!) - that might work.

I always found that it was best not to get into a battle about things with children.

For example, for a four year old you could try saying things like - "Wow, I bet you're big enough to put your dolly away by yourself now" or "Lets see if you can find which shoe goes with which" or "You are such a big girl and a good helper, I bet you know which cupboard the tooth-paste goes in"

Instead of saying "If you don't do _________, you can't watch TV" try saying "As soon as you have done ________, you can watch TV" Can you see the difference?

The more she co-operates and helps and feels like she is a "good girl", the happier she will be and the easier life will be for you.

Growing from a baby to toddler and from toddler to pre-schooler are not always easy transitions for children, be gentle, don't always expect instant obedience and be creative!

Good Luck!

Answer 5

First of all pick ONE form of discipline and use it consistently. The reason she isn't listening is you keep changing what you TELL her. How is she supposed to listen when you change the discipline every time? She is FOUR years old not FOURTEEN her little mind isn't equipped yet to remember every rule you've told her, and you have to keep "reminding" her over and over until she DOES remember. She's being pretty much a "normal" four year old. Stop expecting her to think like an adult and you'll get a better response.

Answer 6

Get down to her level make sure u give eye contact and in a firm voice say "I NEED you to STOP" and if she does it again...keep doing it..make take some while but if she starts giving u tantrum let her...be like.."do it all u want" she will get tired of it eventually...or maybe shes just trying to get some of ur attention....i dont kow im not a parent...sorry...but i took a class in college..and u just need to explain to her wat ur going to do..so she knows wat shes doing wrong..and if u tell her she cant watch tv cause she threw something accross the room make sure u stick by it......

~Take me as i am~

Answer 7

1) reverse psychology...tell her the exact opposite.
2) Find out what her "currency" is. If time outs and whatnot aren't working, then it's because she doesn't really care about those things. You have to find out what she cares about and then create a punishment involving that.

Answer 8

Spanking is a must, but we should mention it because it shouldn't be assumed. When you tell her to do something, make eye contact, speak in a calm voice. If she doesn't do it (depending on what it is) spank her, tell her she will not eat until it's done ... and mean it, explain that you are the parent and she must honor you.

Answer 9

Call nanny 911

Answer 10

Oh my god!! I think there brothers or sisters!!!Mine does the same thing!! it makes me feel like he is the boss you know it???What do we do?? Ive tried everything you hav,e it dosnt work for me either..Hahaaa I feel like he over powers me too..I dont like to spank that breaks mine and his heart..So,I could spend the whole night trying to answer this one ...Lol Just be paicent im trying to, so im with ya,I just wish i had a better answer pary to god like i do lol.....Just try not to scream,I do sometimes i hate it..