Parent Guilt?

Question

Does anyone else ever feel like they are failing their kids? My daughter is sick and I feel really guilty for going to work and leaving her home with her dad. I know he is a great father and will take good care of her but I still feel I should be there. I feel like I am failing my kids by working all the time. Does any one else feel this way? Any suggestions on how to deal with this?

Answer 1

Yes, I've felt the exact same way, but...

I've noticed that the quality of the time I spend with them after I've been away is much greater than if I'm with them all of the time.

Does that make sense?

Answer 2

I am a child who has dealt with that before. My parents are divorced and my dad lives a few cities away. My mom works all day almost every day. When me or my brother are sick, she can't help it but leave. But she always comes home, apologizes, and then starts taking care of us.
One thing I think you should do is talk to your daughter. Make sure she understands that you have to go to work. Also, make sure she knows that you love her and would do anything for her. Ask her if you're failing her. Ask her if there is anything you could do to make it up to her or if there was anything you could do to help her. She might have some suggestions. This is what my mom does and it always works.

Answer 3

I used to feel like that when my son was very young (elementary school and prior) when I worked full-time. I felt so guilty for not being at home when he was sick or after school. When he got older (middle school) I had the opportunity to stay at home, but guess what happened? He started to disrespect me for NOT working! He would say, "you don't pay the bills" or "its not your money" or "your husband pays all the bills."

So, it is my conclusion that children have a lot of respect for parents who work or continue their education. I feel guilty for not doing that!! Another word of advise....there is no perfect parent. We all make mistakes because there's no manual for parenting. It's okay though. Kids know that we are not perfect as parents! Don't feel guilty!!

Answer 4

I still feel that way and my kids are grown and out of the house. I wonder if I did enough job raising them. Are they prepared to face the world? Do they have the responsibility to take care of themselves the way they should? All sorts of things pop into my mind and I worry about them a lot.

In the end, your kids will be fine. You let them know you love and care for them. They know they can come to you for help whenever they need to. A mom simply worries about things that are beyond her control because she is a mom.

Answer 5

I think it is just that motherly thing that we feel. Call to check in when you can. You must be working a lot for a reason so be thankful your daughter has a loving dad at home. This seems to be rare these days.

Answer 6

if you didn't work you couldn't pay for stuff like food, housing, transportation, clothing. It's a complicated world in which we can usually no longer build our own house, raise our own food, spin our own clothing, or keep horses. You could become Amish. Don't feel guilty, you're trying to provide a good life for your family, let your daughter see that, and she will understand.

Answer 7

as long as shes not in the hospital, it really doesnt matter. and if the kid isnt almost dead, its not that big a deal. you're just being a normal parent by being worried. :) (that means you care)

Answer 8

no b/c if your husband is staying why do you have to stay at home? if it makes you feel guilty that much stay at home and let your husband go to his work.