My friend and her bf have been dating 4 yrs. My friend is 23 and her bf is 26. They also have 2 1 yr old twin boys. He has cheated on her 4 times that we know of. One of the times he even cheated with a guy. My friend has made it very clear to me she cant trust her bf anymore, but yet she keeps telling me she loves him and cant leave him. They also plan on getting married this summer. She tells me all the time I got 2 kids with this guy we need to stay together. Her bf has admited to me that he is addicted too sex and at his sexual peak. Her bf has also told me he needs sex everyday and my friend only puts out at most 2-3 times a week. My friend feels she should not have to put out every time he demands it or says he needs it. My question is why is she staying with him if he cheats so much? Is it a good idea that they are staying together for the kids? How can I help my friend not too hurt so much over this? Is it possible to love someone who has cheated this much on you?
2006-11-24 13:50:39 · 12 answers · asked by Lauren M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
She may be staying with him because:
1. She has children with him and wants to keep the "family"
2. It is hard to move on to someone else when you have given your heart to someone for so long, especially when you have children with them.
You should stay together for the children only if both of you are happy and the children benefit from the agreement.
It is possible to love someone who has cheated on you because love is powerful and it is hard when youve given of yourself to that person.
Finally, there is not much you can do but be there for her, but she has to get over this within herself.
2006-11-24 13:57:14 · answer #1 · answered by skykiss 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's sad that she wants to ruin her life like that. It sounds to me like she already is well down the path of no return, can't you just see her wasting her yourth chasing this cheating man around only to have him leave her once and for all when she is old and no longer physically attractive because she has given birth to so many of his children and contracted so many std's from his affairs? Not to mention what stress like that can do to your body. He's never gonna change, and if hse really loved her kids she would have left a long time ago. They aren't staying together for the kids, they are staying together because she has low selfesteem and thinks that she is not worthy of real love. Using her kids as an excuse is pathetic though, and very sad, at least she can choose to change her life by leaving him. They have no choice in the matter and they will suffer, if she loved them she would leave him. But she won't listen to them, she won't listen to you, she is mentally ill and chances are she will never change. If you want to stay her friend than there really is nothing you can do for her.
2006-11-24 13:58:55 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is possible to love him, but this is obviously not a good relationship for her. He's addicted to sex but apparently doesn't want to get better. Instead he just wants to use people. Maybe your friend is afraid of being alone. Maybe your friend secretly thinks that she doesn't deserve a better man. Whatever the reason, she should definitely break off the relationship with him and find someone who respects her.
2006-11-24 13:55:04 · answer #3 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well first if they have 2 kids then maybe she just trying 2 keep the family 2gether. or if she really loves him like she says then sometimes there's nothing you can do about it. but when a girl is in love and i mean like really in love then she would stick by his side no matter what he did to her. she'd probably do anything for him even if he did cheat right. I'm sorry hope you work this out but i really highly doubt it.
2006-11-24 14:00:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hate to say this but she is an idiot, I mean she needs to grow up and realize that she does not want to raise her kids in this kind of environment it is not fair to these kids. They are going to get older and realize what the deal is, then they are going to have to start choosing between the two parents, she needs to stop thinking of herself and being selfish and get out of this relationship. She may also be financially afraid to move out and is using it as an excuse to stay, but she needs to understand that she can do it and it may be a struggle but it will all work out. GOOD LUCK
2006-11-24 13:55:10 · answer #5 · answered by melissa052572 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never,ever should one stay for kids!Possible causes of her staying include fear-of being alone,financial instability,fear of the unknown...and insecurity.Apparently she may have low self esteem and not feel she deserves better,or trust and respect and fidelity are not high priorities for her.Maybe when she gets a clue or an STD she may leave...give her the best consistent encouragement you can to better herself....
2006-11-24 13:55:56 · answer #6 · answered by maykithapin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I had a BF that cheated all the time, but we needed to stay together for one reason or another. I would just have my fun too.
2006-11-24 13:54:40 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
tell her which you're sorry to disillusioned her, yet you realize what you observed and you're purely attempting to maintain her some soreness. tell her which you're nonetheless her chum, and which you would be here for her whilst she reveals out the actuality for herself. you do no longer could practice your declare or do something extra, yet once you decide directly to proceed, you're able to try tricking the slutty female into admitting she kissed the boy. The boy will proceed to lie, so tricking a confession out of the lady is excellent.
2016-10-04 08:14:50 · answer #8 · answered by kroner 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she stays because its her choice and that whats she wants to do if she stays and allows her boyfriend to cheat and treat her babd what can you do nothing she has to make a choice and leave for her own good and find some one new
2006-11-24 13:53:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The question is why does your friend stay with the cheating boyfriend.
The answer is to ask her.
Why on earth ask us? She's YOUR friend.
2006-11-24 13:53:39 · answer #10 · answered by Stuart 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋