I'm 38 and he's 56 and married. We both love each other immensely. We've tried to break it off a month after we started and have never been able to do it. He finally told his wife 3 months ago and he left but had returned home 2 days later with an anxiety attack and he says he can't live without her. When he moved back in, he couldn't stand to be without me. Anyway this has happened 2 times and he is living with a friend now. But he went away with her this week to visit his family. I am so hurt but I Love him. I do not know why I can't break away from him. I need some hop.
2006-11-24 13:47:20 · 16 answers · asked by ? 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You need someone else, and maybe his wife should be doing the same.
2006-11-24 13:49:17 · answer #1 · answered by J G 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I feel sorry for you because this man is a very smart man. He has his cake and is eating it too. He'll never leave his wife, if that's what your wishing. He has the best of both worlds. He'll keep on using excuses on why he can't leave his wife. On the other hand, I don't understand why you're still sticking around with a married man. You should never have started seeing him if you knew that he was married. Don't give the lame excuse that you love him because if you really love him you would have let him be. A married person is not single ( that's why there's such a thing as "marriage" ). Even though he fell for you when he was married, it was surely just a physical thing and I'm certain that it's still just physical. Go find yourself a single man and leave the married ones alone unless you just want to be a sex toy.
2006-11-24 21:56:46 · answer #2 · answered by dd 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You do not need him, you need some self-respect - you have been seeing him for 2 years and he says he can't live without his wife and he is living with a friend now (female?).
If he loved you, he would be with you by now.
If you were my daughter, I would encourage you to believe in yourself a little more, become more confident in yourself and help you understand that you deserve better than the little that this man can give you.
You may think that he loves you, but he does not love you enough. While you are waiting for him, you are missing chances with all the other men out there who are looking for a good woman.
Good Luck!
2006-11-24 22:20:16 · answer #3 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know it's hard but you should not waste your time. Is he away with her now? This isn't going to be easy but you need to move on before things get worse you already sound emotionally attached. Right now he is in control because he's got his cake and he's eating it too. If a 58 year old man is having anxiety attacks because he can't live without his wife, girl your in a no win situation. Make new friends and get out of this mess.
2006-11-24 21:55:27 · answer #4 · answered by joeysgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in a similar situation. We all solved it by my moving in with them and everyone being honest, but that won't work for many people. I will tell you one thing, though. If he really wanted to be with you, and you alone, he would have left his wife a long time ago. I know it hurts to hear this, but he's not leaving her. They have too much time wrapped up in family and memories and children, so they have a past that you can't erase or replace. You need to give him an ultimatum. Tell him that he has a time frame in which to work, set him a date on which to make up his mind, set your requirements, and STICK TO THEM. He is only wavering back and forth between you two because he feels that you will never really leave him. Let him know that you won't wait forever, and that might change his tune. If nothing changes, then at least you'll know where you stand.
2006-11-24 21:54:41 · answer #5 · answered by Bastet's kitten 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should avoid this situation like the plague. If he really loved you and was going to leave his wife for you, he would have done it already. Besides, you are the other woman. If he can't keep a marriage together, why would you want to be with him? He's a cheater. It's a really bad idea for you to be involved with him. Let go of him and do something else -- it'll be better for both of you.
2006-11-24 21:50:06 · answer #6 · answered by drshorty 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to break up with him. It was not meant to be. Give your heart only to someone who can love you back. Think of all married men as castrated. Do not destroy a home. It will come to haunt you in the future if you do.
2006-11-24 21:50:13 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you like being with him or do you like the fact that what you two are doing is taboo? Either way, it is not good on your part. If you like being with him, he'll never be with you exclusively because he took an oath before God to be with his wife.
On top of that, if he does leave his wife for you, what's going to stop him from leaving you for someone else?
2006-11-24 21:51:03 · answer #8 · answered by jorge01232000 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Give him up and move on. He is still in love with his wife and she will always be in the picture even though he plays the field.
2006-11-24 21:52:23 · answer #9 · answered by JJ J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If both of you are Muslims, than, it's fine.. Just get married.. But, if not, you need to "Save the Best for Last"
2006-11-26 10:31:10 · answer #10 · answered by yusdz 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU CAN BREAK AWAY FROM THIS UNHEALTHY RELATIONSHIP. HE WILL NEVER LEAVE HIS WIFE, BUT AS LONG AS HE CAN RUN TO YOU HE WILL .BUT KEEP IN MIME HE WILL NEVER LEAVE HIS WIFE FOR YOU. YOU ALREADY KNOW WHAT TO DO YOU ARE WRONG FOR CHASING THIS MARRIED MAN. LEAVE HIM ALONE, LET GO OF HIM TELL HIM TO STAY AWAY FROM YOU. TELL HIM YOU WANT YOUR OWN. WHEN HE CAN GIVE YOU THIS, IF YOU ARE STILL FREE YOU WILL EXCEPT HIM THEN.AND THEN ONLY.
2006-11-24 21:56:07 · answer #11 · answered by BLUE 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋