What can I do about a trouble teen?

Question

What can I do about a trouble teen who does not want to get her life straighten? She has had intervention for 3 months and now she is back to the same person she was before she went. She is disrepectful, does drugs, hang out with wrong group of people and doesnt have respect for herself. I have hung in there with her for almost a year and now I am at the end of my ropes, and I am in an emotional wreck and dont know what else to do. I am her mother.

My child has been in Juvi, There is a social worker involved, She is presently in Juvenile detention, I have called the police on every incidents that have happened, I have been with her through everything and thought that she wanted to change, Now she is scared that she is going to girls correctional facility in which is the last resort for cases like this. From what I hear about this facility, I honestly dont want her to go. That is where my dilema comes in, Should I let her go, or should I continue to fight for her to come home?

Answer 1

She is your daughter so fight for her. But also be very honest about how you feel. Tell her how much you love her and want to help her but you honestly are tired of her messing up all the time. When she does get home get her involved in some positive alternatives, to help her make good decisions and choices. If she disrespects herself then she needs to have some positive things in her life so she can find some worth and value apart from the boyfriend and the drugs. Get her into counseling to get to the reason she feels so worthless. Don't merely look at her outward behavior, but try to get to the reason that she is acting this way.

Answer 2

You need to involve the police whenever she breaks the law. Make sure she doesn't get away with truancy or drug use or curfew violation or any other law violation.
I have been through this with two teens, my own and a close friend's. I have found that involving the authorities is the most effective way to make sure they get the help they need. Once they reach the age of 18 you lose a lot of leverage, because they are no longer minors. And after the age of 18 the consequences of lawbreaking become more severe and long lasting. So I recommend that you do as much as you can as soon as you can.
Good luck to you and your teen.

Answer 3

first of all, let me say i am not familiar with your whole situation, so i cannot be completely certain which direction you should head towards. once she gets out of juvi, she probably won't be reformed miraculously, as that rarely happens in my experience and from what you've written. depending on her age and your financial situation everything changes. however, my personal recommendation is a wilderness program. you have to be extremely careful when chosing one, but my recommendation would be second nature (entrada) for a girl under 18 but over 13. after that comes another program, but what you do afterwards really depends on your situation.

first, please get an educational consultant. make sure that whoever you pick is not a fan of hardline programs that are lockdowns and detrimental for your child's mental state of mind. this is extremely important, because i can tell you from personal experience that a bad educational consultant can convince you to send your child to a lockdown facility which will increase her distrust and dislike of you, and further break your relationships, so that after she turns 18 and is able to walk out she has run-ins with the law from drugs and boys and even worse.

if you want some more information, my email is [e-mail]
this subject is extremely close to my heart, so i will take time to help you if you want it.

i hope that helps. sometimes life seems impossible, as if it can never get better, but i promise you, there is always a way, not to fix things, but to start paving the way for things to get better.

Answer 4

First I'll list a few articles on the subjects you mention --

Helping Teens in Trouble :
- Youths in Crisis
- The Pressures Facing Youths
- Help for Todays Youths
http://watchtower.org/library/g/2005/4/8/article_01.htm *

Drug Abuse in the Family---What Can You Do? :
- Young People and Drugs
- How to Protect Your Children
- Soon---A Drug-Free World
http://watchtower.org/e/20030408/article_01.htm

Has she ever been evaluated to find out the level of her true Emotional Development? There are several different scenarios that can cause this to be stunted --while often Not affecting the IQ-- so that it appears that they are normal, when they truly aren't. To those around them they Appear to Refuse to cooperate, when in reality, they Actually Can't ... Can't : understand the problem, the principles involved, or the consequences ... Do you notice what those last 3 nouns have in common? They are all Non-concrete ... Young minds are not capable of understanding anything that isn't concrete. Right & Wrong are 2 other non-concretes that they can't grasp. It is a much more common problem than most recognize, and the causes are varied. What are they? 1. Alcohol -- before birth esp., and Not just by ingestion. 2. A high starch/sugar diet can be the source of fuel for normal yeast levels in one's body to become too high, as well as them then turning the sugars into alcohol After ingestion ... So, a mother may Not imbibe a drop of alcohol, yet be unwittingly poisoning her baby! Then, there is 3. 3. lack of essential nutrition. Alcohol inhibits that, even if the mother eats Very nutritious foods, & plentifully. 4. Then there is the real need for a nurturing environment. If a child is problematic to start with, it becomes even less likely that parents will feel like being loving & patient. However, such lack --by itself-- causes a lack of neurological development that lasts a lifetime ...

You may want to have your specially evaluated. The latest & best known methods are kept up to date on a Web site I found ... Perhaps you've heard of Teresa Kellerman? She's an expert on the subject of Secondary Behavior Problems due to FAS (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome) -- those that begin to develop in the teens if they haven't received special help before then. She's written several Excellent articles to help others understand what's going on with such 'troubled' ones. She also has info on how best to 'work with' them ... Do's, & Don'ts. Plus, on her site she provides links to many other excellent sources of information on related subjects. FASCRC < I did a Web search for that, went to the first link on the list, and clicked on, "Number one FAS issue: Behavior ". When I read the articles in the list that it goes to, I was soooo relieved todiscover what I'd been dealing with in my family! It hadn't been hate all along! It really matched what I was seeing in my loved one/s. While it has been a Great Help to learn all this, the Sure Hope of the Cure for it is what Really helps keep me going ...

Perfect Health Restored
http://www.watchtower.org/library/dg/article_10.htm

How Disabilities Will End
http://www.watchtower.org/library/w/2002/5/1/article_02.htm *

God's Kingdom will more than make up for all the suffering mankind has endured!

Help for Young People
http://www.watchtower.org/library/g/2000/12/8/article_04.htm *

*This URL may change soon. If it does, the Advanced Search at http://watchtower.org/search/search_e.htm will find its new URL.

Answer 5

you need to take her to the grave yard and show her that there are long graves and there are short graves and let her know that the life style she is living will either put her in jail or the grave yard at a early age. i took my son to a county jail and i let the police officers take him in the back where the men was locked up and the men talked to him and told him if he didn't do right he would be in there with them and my son came out of their so afraid and that was last year and this year i have a new son he don't get into trouble any more at school he have pull his grades up. and i am so proud of him so do what you have to,to get her to change her ways.

Answer 6

Overcome your Depression Without Medication

Answer 7

Talk to your local social services; ask them for help. There is only so much you can do. This young one needs much more help than you are able to give. As a last resort, you can report her to the police.

Answer 8

teens are confussed for years, and they really dont know where they want to be all they know is that they want to do the opposite of what you tell them. You need to have stricked rules and stand by them, also if she breaks them than you will have to come up with a good punishment for her. eventually she will grow out of it but in the mean time, make rules up, and talk to her about them, tell her if she wants to act like a child than you will treat her as one but if she wants to act grown up she will have to prove to you that she is and she needs to start by respecting you. Go over the rules that you really really want her to change and than write it down than think of some that you could deal with but possible can comparmize with her, when you sit her down and talk about these rules tell her these are the things you want her to follow, she will probably get really upset about it but thats when you say, okay i believe you are getting old enough that perhaps we could earase some of these rules or at least come to a understanding on some (the ones you wouldnt mind changing, act like these rules mean a lot to you and you dont want to change them but if she is willing to act like a adult than you will just this time comparmize with her) ask her what she thinks of them and than go from there, she will think that you are letting her have her own mind on things and shes able to talk to you about things.

Answer 9

you need to let her go... best thing you could ever do for her... you said she has had outside help for 3 months and just hasn't helped, let her go to this correctional facility... my parents had me admitted to a hospital when i was 13, i hated them for it, but now that I'm 19, it was the best thing they ever did for me, i needed the help, and it sounds like your daughter really needs the help... believe she will hate you now, but when she gets older and realizes that it hurt you just as much as it hurt her( if not worse), she will love you all the more for doing it now, rather than waiting until it was too late...

Answer 10

its simple press charges on her and have her put in jdc because they dont let her do drugs, or smoke,or alcohol, and do their school work. and she needs to be locked up there because it could teach her a big lesson in respect, and not to abuse drugs and hopefully gets the idea not to hang with the wrong crowd and hang with the right crowd.