Is it normal...?

Question

One night, my boyfriend got drunk, and he came over and called me a whore and he blacked my eye. Is this ok? I mean, the next day he came over and he apologized and he got all mad at himself, and I really don't think he meant it. It's happened before, but he's always been drunk. He has never hit me when he's been sober. I was just wondering if I can forgive him, if I should accept this, or if I should stop seeing him. The rest of our relationship is great. We go out, we have fun, he makes me laugh, and he normally treats me very well. What should I do about this?

Answer 1

Sweetie no man has a right to assualt you whether he is drunk or sober. Your bf has a problem, he is driking excessively, which leads to the suggestion that he has some issues to deal with. Normally for alcholics (which sounds like you rbf is) there are issues that they are dealing with or trying not to deal with and they drink, use drugs, etc. to manage those emotions. Sweetie I think deep down you know this is not going to get better and that you shoul d get out while you can. there is a amazing quote by Maya Angelou that stsates," When someone shows you who they are, BELIEVE THEM.". SWEETIE HE IS SHOWING YOU WHO HE REALLY IS...BELIEVE HIM. I understand he tends to hate himself after he is sober, but you tell me, how consolign is him hating himself when you are backed against a wall or thrown on a floor in fear of your life. You are precious to God an dhe wants ONLY the best for you, and sweetie this is not it. God has a enormous plan for your life, and he wants you to fulfill it. Don't let this bf hold you back fro God's best for you. If you break up w/ him he may try to win you back,promise to never do ti again....may even say he will go to counseling to get help or stop/reduce his drinking. The issue is he has to do those things for himself, YOU cannot be his motivating factor. If a person realy wants to change they do so for themselves to better their situation, not just to get the sig, other off their back for a little while. Sweetie don't allow yourself to fall into the statistic, you are worth more and can do better, God is in yoru corner and I am encouraging you to cosider what i have typed.

Answer 2

Alcohol eliminated inhibitions and our emotional control. The things he says and does reflect the emotions he surpresses. It is very possible that he's grown unhappy in the relationship, but either can't or won't break up with you for whatever reason. It could be he doesn't want to break up but something about you is bothering him. If you have any hope of staying together than you have to talk to him and find out what in the relationship is bothering him. If it is left unresolved than things are only going to get worse as his unhappiness grows so will his anger while he's drunk.

Answer 3

You must leave him for your own safety. What if its a lot worse than a black eye the next time? You could end up in the hospital! You can forgive him, if you want to, but from a distance. You should NOT accept such treatment and need to get him out of your life. I know you will not believe this, but the situation will only get worse as time goes on.

Answer 4

u only have problem in ur r´ship.
he has an abusive behavior after alcohol consumption & to solve this problem he must stop drinking.
confront his drinking & ask him to stop for u.
many people do stupid & rude things after being drunk but they don´t mean it. it is the b´coz the alcohol takes control of the man.
if he has an alcohol problem, he might need therapy or medication.
don´t leave him yet as otherwise ur r´ship seems fine. But u must communicate to him & ask him to stop alcohol for u. Otherwise he will do these things further.
if he continues after u telling, u have no option but to end the r´ship for the sake of ur safety & happiness.

afte alcohol, a person can become someone totally different.
alcohol is an extremely powerful thing that can destroy & shatter a human´s life & his loved ones. alcohol can make u lose everything. therefore no longer accomodate his verbal & physical abuse after he is drunk. however don´t leave him yet, everyone deserves a final chance. so tell him one last time that he must stop alcohol immediately & if not u will leave him.
u deserve to be treated well & no one should call u a whore or give u a black eye. give him a final chance.
but in my opinion he will continue his abusive behavior.
once someone is into alcohol, alcohol rules everything & drinking becomes more important to them than anything.
he might only realise the consequences of being drunk regularly after he loses u.
a person with a serious alcohol problem must usually lose something major to make him realise his alcohol problem.
he might not be an alcoholic but he is definitely a problem drinker which is nearly as bad. an alcoholic is someone who is physiologicall or psychologically adicted to alcohol, whereas a problem is not really addicted but does cause lot of problems after drinking. ur bf might be either of those.
the first step to making him stop is making himself realise it, ie. he should want to stop- only then it will work.
so talk to him & ask him to stop, give him support if he requires to stop drinking. but do not accomodate his abusiv behavior any more. end the r´ship in that case.

Answer 5

he is not a nice guy. You deserve someone better, who will adore you. The next time this happens call the police, press charges and don't look back. You will be doing both of you a favor. He needs to know there are consequences for getting drunk and hitting a woman - or anybody else. Dump him quick! Please don't talk yourself into forgiving this guy. Think OJ!

Answer 6

Okay, first of all, one small thing a guy does that you accept may make him want to do it more often. It is absolutely not okay to hit you, even if he apologizes. You have two choices: Either talk to him about a drinking problem, or flat out dumpo him. Personally, either one would be the absolute best choice in a relationship like yours.

Answer 7

No it is not normal and even thou it only happens when he is drinking eventually he wont have to drink to hit you. No woman deserves to be hit by a man and you are too good to put up with a jerk like that. My sister married a guy just like that and he still beats her daily and he is an alcoholic today. Please get out while you can they can cry and pretend they didnt mean it, but baby they do remember it the next day he is lying to you and will continue to hit you.

Answer 8

I don't want to be mean but you have to face the fact that you're in an abusive relationship. Don't make up excuses for him because he doesn't deserve them. It sounds like he has a drinking problem and he's using you as his punching bag. If he doesn't get help it won't change ( believe me )... You have to get out before it gets worse ( and it will )... You don't need this, this is self-abuse if you stick around. Good luck and break free.

Answer 9

you don't need to put up with that kind of BS. no girl deserves to get hit by a guy. it doesn't matter if he's drunk or if he's sober. it's just not right at all. you can always find someone better than that. i would find someone that treats you better than that.

Answer 10

What you spot on well-known, is what's popular. occasion: in case you spot a guy or woman hiccuping that many times popular yet whilst its nonstop for days or months, this is maximum in all probability no longer popular. additionally if a guy or woman became born with something like six hands on each and each hand will possibly no longer look popular to us inspite of the undeniable fact that this is popular to that guy or woman. So from time to time this is a guy or woman element that no person else will understand.