I just found out that my soon to be sister in law is going to be getting married. Exciting..... But now she is talking about getting married the same month me and my fiance (her brother) are going to be married. I just think this is rude of her....am I wrong? They have family from out of state and if she gets married before us, then I dont think most family members will make it down for two weddings. Also, it just is a bummer because its supposed to me MY day,....my month...... it may sound selfish, but you only get married once! I mean, we got engaged first and planned the time of the wedding already...AND I'm a total girly girl who has thought of her wedding day since I was little..... Am I out of line??...
2006-11-24 12:41:09 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
* I have told my fiance about how this upsets me and he has seen! hehe But he tells his sister and family but they play devils advocate.. at least his parents. She just doesnt understand how its a big deal. We are not that close....do i talk to her about? Do I go on strike with his family? hehe .... Or do I just kill them with kindess and just have a kick *** wedding to show off! =)
2006-11-24 12:53:36 · update #1
Just one more thing.... we got engaged in May 2006 the day of my graduation from college. We planned for a long engagement to save money and right after he asked I knew and told her and her mom all that I have planned..already! The date and colors, everything... --for those that had asked in their answers.
2006-11-24 14:47:21 · update #2
Sounds like she wants a piece of the attention. Putting the weddings some time apart would make sense to me. Ask her to change her date before it's too late. Might be a good idea for her brother to be a part of that discussion.
2006-11-24 12:46:10 · answer #1 · answered by Halsen 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all I hope that she is cursed with inability to find a hall!
My own sister suddenly got bitten by the wedding bug after hearing about mine.(She was engaged a good two years longer than me but, still has not set a date) So I did the best thing I could think of I encouraged her and somehow the more she heard about mine the more she got scared to do her own (amazing what a little stress can do to others when you share it with them) I have since offered her to help her Thru the stress of hers once mine was over. (I'm opening a wedding planning business in the new year and I think the thought of getting a planner for free excited her)
I would tell the girl how you feel and mention that you think two so close would be over kill ask her to help with yours and plan to help with hers this should work also mention the added financial stress on the family (double gifts etc) isn't fair. Definitely say something because if you don't there will be a lot of BAD family holidays in your future.
2006-11-24 18:23:46 · answer #2 · answered by emmandal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't think that she is correct. It is not fair, and being a girl I am right there with you! I have planned my whole life for this too! I think you should go ahead and let her have the day. Do it the week before! That way, everyone will come to yours first! My fiances brother's girlfriend at the time addressed his invite, Josh and guest. I was ticked. But I killed her with kindness and now we are okay. Maybe move yours up a month. Don't let her have the satifaction on getting married first. Especially if you have been first. Not fair I tell ya! I would be so mad. I am sure your fiance sees your point but being the guy and its his family, it is tough on him. Go elope and then come home and have a kick *** party! You go girl! Good luck to you!
2006-11-24 14:07:14 · answer #3 · answered by Peek A Boo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No! Especially because (it sounds as if) you two have had this planned...she is definitely in the wrong. They should wait at least about a year to get married (after your ceremony), or at least six months. There is no reason why she should get married the same month as you and your fiancee.
Also, I've heard stories of people only giving half the wedding gift because there were two weddings in a month. Not that money matters, you should want the family there, but still.
Wow. I would be so pissed.
2006-11-24 13:51:20 · answer #4 · answered by Kayla 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, I've been married for 19 years to a wonderful man, and he has a sister who I call "evil sis in law" to some of my close friends. I will share with you my rule #1 in handling the in laws. I don't. I let my husband deal with them, after all, they are his family. Let your fiance handle any issues with his family, and honestly don't talk to them, don't tell them it's bugging you, don't even hint that it's distressing you (to them.) That's what YOUR family is for.
You said she's THINKING about scheduling her wedding the same month as yours. If she hasn't done it yet you're worrying about nothing at this point. The time for you to start worrying about the logistics of it is WHEN she actually sets her date a week or two before your wedding.
On the out of state family, I just found out today that in addition to my brother's out of state wedding in March of '07, my sister will be married in November '07, and my youngest sister is planning a late spring/early summer '07 wedding (date not 100% firm yet, but not the weekend of our neice's h.s. graduation). All these weddings will be out of state for me, and I wouldn't plan on missing a one of them, unless I'm in the hospital or dead or something like that. Yes, it will be expensive for me and my family (husband and 2 children) to go to these out of state weddings, and we're going to do it. Yes, some family members may say "well, we can only go to 1 wedding if they're held that close together" and they MAY decide to go to the one that was on the calandar first. After all, THAT'S the wedding they've been planning on going to. And some of them my decide to go to the sister's wedding. That's the way the cookie crumbles, and there's not going to be anything you can do about it if that happens. So don't spend your time and energy worrying about something that a.) might not happen and b.) you have no control over the outcome if it does. That's turning a bit into a Bridezilla, and I don't think you want that, and I guarantee you your fiance doesn't want that. Just remember, that while the wedding day is important, it's the MARRIAGE that's most important, and should last the lifetime. Keep your priorities straight here, and work on building a lifelong marriage, and you'll be fine. Best of luck to you!!!
2006-11-24 15:18:05 · answer #5 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You said she was "talking" about choosing the same month as your wedding, but has she actually done it?
She might be trying to get a rise out of you, but don't. I'd go to her like a mature adult & tell her you'd appreciate her not doing that; that both of you deserve to have that special wedding day.
If she then decides to go ahead and have hers the same month before yours, there isn't much you can do about it. And if family can't make it to yours, then you will have less at your wedding.
Explain to your fiance that this is going to cause some serious family problems. So unless he wants to spend the rest of his life refereeing between you & his sis at family gatherings, he needs to step up now. And if he doesn't or won't or thinks it's not a big deal, then I'd seriously consider your choice of a mate.
2006-11-24 13:08:22 · answer #6 · answered by weddrev 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think she's being a little unreasonable. Six months is plenty of time for people to recover from your wedding and still attend hers. She needs to calm down. I'm guessing she just may be jealous that you are getting married before her but were engaged after her. Set your wedding date for April 2010 so long as both you and your fiance are in agreement of that date.
2016-05-22 23:25:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would think your fiance's parents would not be thrilled to have two siblings married the same month. They are probably the ones who could get the others to change their date - it's really not fair to extended family - the weddings should be a couple of months apart.
2006-11-24 13:26:24 · answer #8 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My sister in law got married the week after me. Who the hell cares if her's in the same month as yours? Stop being so selfish about it,she's having a wedding too and that will be HER day.
2006-11-24 14:58:22 · answer #9 · answered by Stephanie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nope, ask her what her reasoning is behind planning it the same month? Have a heart to heart with her, ask your fiance to talk with her too. Perhaps, the family can come to some sort of arrangement. And beside's what makes you think they will come to her wedding over yours? It's all about timing. Perhaps you should mail your invites out asap and also send an evite out. That way you'll lock the family in before her. Got to fight dirty when you want things your way. "Go to the mattress's"
2006-11-24 12:48:39 · answer #10 · answered by apesee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋