What would you do if you lost seventeen people in your family in one year?

Question

One of whom being your father whom you found dead in his bed, and then in that year and the few years after you had to raise your brothers three kids while he was suicidal during his divorce and you were only 19-20 years old???

This is a true story, it happened to my fiancee, she is 28 now and made it with no professional help. Anymore "deal with it" type answers and i'll be dropping some emails.

Answer 1

You grieve, you mourn, you get very angry, you get a desertion complex, you get resentful and then very slowly, you begin to breathe again. Then you realize you grew up in one darned hurry; maybe too fast, but you did it. You begin to be proud of how you have survived and all you have accomplished on your own. You now choose your friends very carefully lest they become less than in your best interests. And finally, you move on. I've been in your shoes (I lost eleven immediate family members in one year) and was left a Downs Syndrome step-sister to raise. I saw my brother through his divorce. I survived my own divorce and his untimely death shortly thereafter. I KNOW what you are talking about - but we have a choice: move on with a better knowledge of life and face it square on OR remain bitter, hurt, mournful and wither away. I chose to move on and am so glad I did. I feel all the stronger for all I have experienced even if it did take me two or three years to get past it all. I hope you will be able to move on too. You are very brave to be doing what you need to do. My prayers are with you.

Answer 2

I'm so sorry. But it's life, and you don't have to just "deal with it" alone, you have the rest of your family and your friends, Keep them real close and don't under-estimate your luck, good or bad. I would get some professional help if you are weak in these type of things. But you get a strong motivated heart out of all this, everything in life is a test. Things won't go exactly the way they were before, but things will get better for you and your fiancee. Lots of love from all, hope everything's going uphill.

Answer 3

It forces you to grow up fast. Learn that life can be very fragile and that we should make the most of it. You have hqd so much loss that you need to grieve properly. Go see a counselor if you can, it helps.
Please realize that you will see them again on the other side (heaven). When it is there time to go there is nothing you can do except help and be there when you can.
If you want to know more about death and dying and what happens when we die read Sylvia Brownes books. It has opened my eyes and I no longer look at death as a tragedy. I am no longer in severe pain by the loss of my brother. I learned that we are all on a journey and that our lives are mapped out with out time of death. It may change slightly but your souls journey is the same and they we all meet again on the other side as our souls are eternal.
It is hard for you to go through so much pain so early in life but just remember God has a reason and a path that your soul will follow.

Answer 4

I think that if I was in that situation I would try to get some help from more of my family members, if there were still some alive. I have faith and I believe in God, so I would make sure that I prayed and left everything up to Him. At the same time, I would still try to work and support my family to the best of my knowledge and ability. That would include getting help from the government. I know someone who was in a similiar situation, lost both parents, and had to raise four other siblings. If you have a good family that's willing to help, you don't have anything to worry about.

Answer 5

I once supported someone who lost their wife suddenly at the age of 49 to a heart attack.

Then he lost his uncle and father in law and a couple of other relatives after very short illnesses all within 9 months

that summer he entered a whirlwind relationship and was married and move to a different part of the country by the christmas after which he developed a rather strange attitude towards work and friendships so lost touch after that

Answer 6

If this has happened to ur gf and she has dealt with it without professional help she is a very strong young lady. If you marry her, she will probably be your "Rock of Gibraltar". She probably won't be like so many pampered females today who would think the world will end today because they have a flat on the way to work,or they broke a nail trying to make dinner. It will take a real crisis to put her over the edge. Good luck.

Answer 7

my heart goes out to your fiance. I hope that you are sticking by her and offering her all the emotional support she needs. It may seem like she is dealing well with t but it can really hit her later down the line. It may not seem like reality to her right now and she make think she can deal with this all, but my advice for what it is worth is to seek some sort of counseling for her honey. I don't know how i would deal with it or how i even could. So much weight to bare on ones heart and soul. I myself will pray for her and you. May Go bless you both and keep you both safe from harm.

Answer 8

I would take very, very good care of myself for a while. Sounds like a recipe for major depression. It is very normal for humans to experience major depression after such tragic losses, and there is no need for you to suffer through it alone. Please reach out to a therapist,doctor, teacher, spiritual leader, or social worker in your community for help in dealing with all of this. It's not a weakness to admit you need help when you have been hit with more than any human can reasonably bear all alone. You are a worthwhile person who deserves to find a pathway to happiness again.

Answer 9

i would pray. i will pray for you sir. i have had one death of which was my mom when i was six. that happend 5 years ago i know that i am younge but licen. she has to have help cuz deep down inside something is attaking. and hard! the deamonds are making her act like it does not hurt inside. take her to church and let her talk to the pastor *without you being there* also pray for those kids it has to be hard to see there dad and mom like this.

God-bless you

xoxoxoxoxox
mar!

Answer 10

well congrats for u taken on so much, life is a biatch, n its not easy n i know it sucks but u are strong . there is a lesson that god has given u in all of this.. hell, sometimes we find that hard to believe n never figure out why us, and what the message is but hey ...u just do it n get thru it. sometimes a mess, sometimes a stronger person. but u get thru it. good luck