Depressed. What can I do?

Question

I feel stupid now because I am asking all of these pathetic questions but I have nobody to talk to.+I need to get it off my chest. My mum is addicted to painkillers + has been for 10 years, she has been in and out of hospital with health problems relating to the adiction (ulcers, anemia, major organ failure, an eating disorder) Im 16 + I've never had many friends because I spend so much time staying at home cooking, cleaning looking after my mum. I've never really had a chance to be a proper teenager. Were really poor and somtimes I don't have money for bus fare or dinner, my mum is constanly sneaking out the little money we have to buy pills. I like in a really crappy poor area of liverpool and I just feel so so sad and lonely all the time and Im surrounded by drug addicts and people who come out of school with no qualifications and have a ton of kids. I just look into my future and I just know that Ill end of like the people around me, what can I do? I feel like Ive got no future

NOTE:I know some people reading my question might find it easy just to tell me to suck it up and get on with it. But its hard when this has been my life for 10 years. I just need some encouraging advice from people even if the advice might sound obvius to some people. Also somone asked why I have internet, I am poor, my mum has weeks where she can go without tablets and days when she can't and on the days when she cant thats when things like shopping bills and busfare get comprimised, the bills are paid first. Thanks for the advice I just needed some encouragment that things will get better for me :) I hope

Answer 1

hey, just because your mom is that way does NOT mean you will automaticly grow up that way. there is going to come a time in your life when you have to make the decsion to stay and help your mom where you won't get anywhere in the future. or you will have to leave her to herself. so you can get somewhere on your own. and if she is doing the pain pill thing still. you need to leave, your young, a whole future ahead of you. and you have the chance to start your own new family. Don't pass that up. your only 16 right now. I am not sure the legal age to move out up there. Here in the states its 18. but when that time comes. Get out. stay with a friend or somthing. get a job, get a small apartment or rent a room in a flat from someone. and start getting your life plans together. go to school. or whatever it is you plan to do.

as for what you can do right now. maybe stop cleaning the dishes, stop cooking food for her, and stop helping her, she is able to do all that pill stuff, because she doesn't have to take the time to raise you. make her raise you. not you take care of her.
if she is abuse, get help and get out of there.

u can IM me on yahoo messenger at trevorborden, if you want to talk more about this or need more help.

or you can email me at [e-mail]


whatever you do don't give up. look at it like this. what your doing now is only temporary. and you have like 60 more years ahead of you! you arnt even a quater of the way thru your life yet. what your doing now won't be forever!

ALSO maybe your mom has friends or family that u can have help intervien and maybe get her some help.

keep your chin up. you will get thru it :)

Answer 2

For one I am sorry your Mom has an addiction problem, but if you can don't leave school because without an education you will be like them. ANd what I have read so far about you, it seems like your a very loyal and very smart girl to be 16 and taking care of your MOM. SO what I would say is your future is what you want to make it. Because I was poor, lived in abusive household, was always going to school and working, so when I got paid it wasn't enough so I got beat. But I over came that and one day I said I will be better and not let these things take over my life and I over come this and am doing great now. SO if you need someone to chat with you, or need to talk to or write to you can always count me as a friend.

Answer 3

The best thing you can do is to tell yourself that you're going to get out of the place you're in. Make that your goal. Rather than feel sad and depressed, think of ways you can improve yourself and your situation. Don't worry about having a normal teenage life, that's not the most important thing. You have to stay focused on what really counts, and that is finding a way out of where you are at.
There is a guy in the town where I live that was an orphan, and was raised in a orpanage. Now he owns 7 car dealerships and is a multimillionaire. Most 'normal' people take life for granted. They don't have to worry about anything, and so they don't.
The struggles you are dealing with make you strong, and you can use those strengths to make a better life for yourself. You have just got to stay focused, and you can do anything you put your mind too. It takes a lot of work and a lot of effort, but you can be in a much better place than you are, but you have to want better for yourself. Stay positive, work hard, and things WILL get better.
Good luck, and blessings to you.

Answer 4

My Mom is the same way, whenever my sister and I talk to my mom, she always talks about how she needs to go to physical therapy and has a hole in her brain(which she thinks its a cyst, but the leading neuro surgeon on the entire west coast said it was nothing), and how she needs knee surgery and shoulder surgery, thinks she has breast cancer, etc., No matter what, my mom will tell anyone and everyone about her problems and that she's a victim of everyone and that the whole world hates her and how she hates our family. And ever since my freshman year of high school, my mom has kinda hated my sister and I, we have even asked her if she wanted to have a relationship with us, but we couldnt get a straight answer out of her. So, I can relate with what your going through. I was always soo embarassed to bring friends over to my house because it wasent a nice house, and my mom smoked so it always smelt like smoke. Now, all of these things have made me want to strive to be the best, to be a sucessful person, go to college and graduate, have a good job and be the best parent I can be when that time comes to be one. Use your sad feelings to help motivate you to break that chain that you feel bounded by. If your only 16, you've still got a future, make it how you want it, strive to be the best that you can be, dont settle for what your mom has settled for. Look at her life and the life around her, plan out what you can do to avoid those pit falls that have trapt your mom. I love my mom, I always will, she brought me into this world and Im very great full for that, but I use her life as inspiration for mine of the kinda life I dont want to have.

Answer 5

You should work your hardest and avoid things that you know are wrong. Hopefully you are in school so you can get an education. Getting an education is really important, don't let anyone else tell you differently. Once you get an education you can move out on your own then get a high paying job. You can if you try. I recommend that your mother gets professional help with her addiction. It is not your fault that she does those things, but you need to buck up and shape up and start to become even more mature. Things are hard at first but will pass over time. Once you give yourself discipline you can thrive to do whatever you want.

Answer 6

Listen, i know it is difficult and confusing for you right now, but whatever you do, don't give up. I, myself, came from a very negative environment that involved alcoholism, drug use, you name it. But, guess what, I did not become a product of my environment. I did not let it empower me. To this day, I have not touched a drop of beer, tried smoking, pot or drugs. And, believe me, when I tell you that I had all the reasons in the world, physical abuse, having a single parent..etc...but, i was all the more stronger, mentally that I did not give up on my own self. Please hang in there..you seem like a strong individual. It may not seem like there's no tomorrow..but trust me there is..you just need to be courageous, strong and be very perseverant. OK? Someday you will look back and say, wow, I made it...I'm still here and I'm a survivor of Life! Good Luck...and if u need to talk to someone, anytime...I'm here for you. I have 2 daughters of my own..and I wld not like for them to be going through what I went through or what you are going through. I am always there for them. God Bless you and Keep you. Stay strong and confident.

Answer 7

I'm sorry.You have a rough life so I'll do my best to help.
First,try to sit down and talk to your mom about using the money for pills.Maybe you could get a job part time and see how that goes.I know jobs are definitely not fun,but they help get around.
Get out of the house for awhile.go look around the mall,even if you can't afford anything,it's still nice to look around.You could probably meet some people there too.
Well,I hope you start to feel better.i've been pretty depressed before.Not fun.
LOVE,
Tati

Answer 8

I'm not exactly a psychiatrist, but if you need some time on the couch I'd be willing to help. It is unfortunate that some people have such a hard time and it's more difficult for them to get out of the cycle. I would be willing to help get you through the difficulties as a counselor and friend. If it appeals to you, all you have to do is go to my profile and email me.

Answer 9

I grew up in the same type of environment, but instead of pain killers my Mom had cancer. My life was filled with taking care of my two siblings, cooking, laundry, cleaning and helping them with homework. We collected cans, delivered circulars, babysat, went to food pantries and clothes closets (clothes for the poor). The money earned went to buy food. We all stayed in school, we all went to a community college and we all make a decent living and live in a better neighborhood. Hang in there, it will get better, but you have to work for it. Good luck.

Answer 10

dont feel stupid
Get help........its stupid if you dont ask for help.
Mental illness can be treated with medication and a balanced diet.
You may need to be evaluated to determine if your depression is chemical or situation related.
your still a minor so call your local Child Protection or Tell your guidence counselor in school. The Guidence counselor is there to help you and ther is plenty of programs for you to get involved with to make your future bright.

please dont give up