Ive been w my bf for almost 2 yrs. we are planning to get engaged this year. He grew quiet since 1 wk ago, & we both brush it off as stress at work. Finally, last nite we talked, & he said that he think we dont really have a lot in common& he is much older than me (9years difff). But when i ask him straight whether he still loves me, he said yes. He still love me so much, and he cried when he said that.
And no, nothing wrong with me at all; he said. We do get along so well, we like each other friends, our parents give their blessing too. So whats going wrong? He said he DOESNT EVEN KNOW WHAT MAKE HIM THINK WHETHER WE CAN BE TOGETHER IN THE LONG TERM. Since earlier relationship, he always said that i deserve better2, but i dont. I love him most.
Is culture makes the diff too? he is caucasian and im eurasian..
Please help
2006-11-24 11:41:41 · 6 answers · asked by AlisonJonshon 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I just edit my questions, you all are so lovely to give advice to me. About the engagement; i told him then that i dont rush him. Its even his plan in the beginning. He thinks that im lovely, men always hitting on me & i can find dome1 better out there-but ive been telling him hundred times that no, YOU are the best. The pain is, he told me that he doesnt even know why. If only we have issues, then we can sort it out. But i dont even know what is going wrong! its so confusing....:(sob sob
2006-11-24 12:07:17 · update #1
I think he is afraid of comment some men are comment phobic and have a hard time with relationships. I'm sure he does love you but the fear of a life long if too much for him to handle.
Sometime a relationship therapist can help, that is if he will go.But it really sounds like he feels he may fail you and maybe that's what is holding him back. Sit down and talk to him honestly and tell him you want this to work how can you help him with his issues.
Communication openness getting everything your feeling out will help you both to understand each other. Good Luck
2006-11-24 11:55:15 · answer #1 · answered by SpecialLdy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe he thinks that as he grows older and the difference is more notorius, he wont have the energy to keep up with you.
Or maybe he thinks, once we are married, she gonna want have babies, and i am too old for that
since he has told you at the begginig of the relationship that you deserve better, that tell me he has a selfsteam problem
by the way i dont think 9 years is a lot, unless you are 13 and he is 22, otherwise, think about it 20 and 29, 45 and 54, is not much
2006-11-24 19:52:07 · answer #2 · answered by gone 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sit down and talk to him. Something is bothering him that made him start doubting your relationship. Please dont get married if either of you are having second thoughts. It wont get better unless you work it out
2006-11-24 19:45:56 · answer #3 · answered by nascargirl216 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no hun i dont belvie that your cutures would have anything to do with this maybe he was just getting cold feet abouit being engaged im a dr if youd like to talk more
2006-11-24 19:49:09 · answer #4 · answered by Angie 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
maybe he is just a little scared, sorta getting cold feet.
maybe you could give him a little space. are you rushing him into the engament thing? talk with him about it. let him know your not in a rush to get engaged. maybe he just needs more time?
2006-11-24 19:45:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I THINK HE IS INTIMIDATED BY THE AGE DIFFERENCE. HOWEVER, I TRULY BELIEVE THAT AGE IS A STATE OF MIND!!!
DIG A BIT DEEPER AND TACTFULLY, FIND OUT WHY HE THINKS YOU DESERVE BETTER.
I WOULD NEED TO KNOW MORE TO FURTHER VOICE MY OPINION.
2006-11-24 19:48:09 · answer #6 · answered by basskickinmama 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋