I was divorced about 2 years ago and have moved on..(he cheated and I couldnt forgive). I have met somebody and we are dating and things seem great. He even says he loves me but something bothers me...He doesnt even act like he would like to make love to me. Kisses are as far as it goes. I dont sleep around but I feel something is missing. I have even started to wonder if he is the right one or if I should stop things now before I really end up getting hurt. I know this sounds like a foolish problem but it is really worrying me,
2006-11-24 11:40:07 · 16 answers · asked by nascargirl216 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well, you left out an important factor...how long have you been dating him? Maybe he wants to respect you or doesn't want to come on too strong and scare you away. He could be religious as someone else suggessted, or just cautious until he knows you better. You need to bring this up to discuss this with him and be open and honest, if you can't be open and honest with him, then I can't put this any other way but bluntly, you shouldn't be sleeping with him. As someone who has been married and divorced already, I'm sure I don't need to tell you that. Don't just blurt out why won't he take things further, because then he may end up feeling hurt, rejected, or insecure, but rather tell him you'd like a moment to discuss your relationship the two of you have and highlight the good things about it and then just casually talk to him and tell him you would like things to go further in your relationship and ask him if he is comfortable in taking it to another level. If he says no, more than likely he'll express why he doesn't want to and if he doesn't immediately express it, then that is your perfect oppurtunity to ask why. Hope it all works out for the best!
2006-11-24 11:56:46 · answer #1 · answered by slinkster 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have left many questions to be asked to give a really sufficient answer. Based on what you have said, either he is one of the dying breed of "gentlemen," or he lacks something to be desired sexually. For eg. a small penis, poor sexual performance. Maybe, you are the first hot girl he has ever been with ( or at least in his mind). Why not just ask him? I've found asking is a lot less painful than wondering, because then you start to feel inadequate when it could be something so simple.
2006-11-24 11:45:28 · answer #2 · answered by Nikki J 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i can really relate to him. I'm in the same situation. I don't believe in pre-marital sex (not for religious reasons) and our society these days thinks that there really is something wrong with that. He might be just waiting and taking his time to be sure that you really are the one. It sounds like he's really attracted to you, but if you feel the same about him then be patient with him. He will come around and explain the situation to you.
2006-11-24 11:49:15 · answer #3 · answered by curlius caesar 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what i would do is plan a nice evening, go back to your place and kinda have toe mood set. you will get into things, and if he doesnt respond to it right, then you have no other choice but to bring it up, very easily. i know that is the last thing anyone would want to do, but once you get it out you will feel better, and he will know it is an issue. he may be trying to be respectful, and not cross the line. or maybe there is something he is insecure about. i wish i had a better answer, but your options are limited for this one
2006-11-24 11:46:55 · answer #4 · answered by yankeesarethechamps 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I have learned in life that always go with your gut feeling, when you feel that there is something wrong you will find that there is.
Now the other side of the coin is that you have been married and this means while married sex is normal and expected between husband and wife. You may be expecting this now but you have to realize that he is not of the same mind.
2006-11-24 11:59:41 · answer #5 · answered by a1lockicx 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why does everyone need sex right away? Sure it is wonderful but what if he honestly respects you? He is with you because you are appealing to him. Let him move as slow as he wants to. Then it will be worth it for both of you. What if he wants to marry you, have you ever thought of that? Could he be waiting to make sure that you are the one? Be happy, you are special to him.
2006-11-24 11:45:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some people have high moral standards and would not even think of sleeping with someone they are not married to. Talk to him and see if he needs more of a signal from you to proceed or if he needs marriage first.
2006-11-24 11:43:51 · answer #7 · answered by kny390 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ask him. In spite of our present free sex society, I know a few men (one married my daughter) who didn't want sex until marriage and really respect women. He is the only one who can tell you why he hasn't hit on you. If he is showing his true respect for you, then stick with him. If you don't want to , send me his phone number. ;o)
Best Wishes,
Sue
2006-11-24 11:43:06 · answer #8 · answered by newbiegranny 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would talk to him about it,ask him why. It's possible he just respects you and wants to wait until your both ready.It's funny how us women are if they want to take us to be right away we think there dogs,and if they don't want to make love to us we think there's something wrong with us. We are such complected creatures aren't we?
If I were you I would talk to him about it....that's what I would do.
2006-11-24 12:27:21 · answer #9 · answered by SpecialLdy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
maybe he is just being a gentleman. possibly waiting for the right time to makelove to you....i think the best thing to do is to have an open conversation with him and ask him about it before you invest to many emotions into the relationship. good luck!
2006-11-24 11:47:45 · answer #10 · answered by bigmommy240 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋