For the past year, every time I've been sick (about 5 times), my boyfriend of over on year always avoids me because he, "...can't afford to be sick right now." He even once told me we couldn't see each other until I was better. My question is, when you really love someone, shouldn't you take care of them when they're sick?
HOWEVER, I see how I could be being a bit selfish, but I would take care of someone who I'm madly in love with at any cost but would take precautions so that I don't get sick as well.
I can see what he's saying because he starts another job in about a week and this time he honestly can't afford to get sick, but there have been plenty of other times where he said it when nothing significant was going on in his life.
Agree / Disagree? Do you agree / disagree under certain circumstances? What would you do for your partner / spouse if they were sick?
2006-11-24 11:17:05 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm talking about a 24 hour virus, a cold, sinus infection, sore throat, and all the way up to mono
2006-11-24 11:19:43 · update #1
If you're down with that person, and you really wanna be committed, you'd help through thick & thin, and it really wouldn't matter if that person had hepatitis b or whatever.
2006-11-24 11:19:04 · answer #1 · answered by Tar Heel 4 Life 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When a guy is about to start a job that he really finds important, then it is totally understandable for him to do everything he can to avoid getting sick, even if it offends a loved one. It's no different than not going out with someone you like because you have an important exam the next day and need to study.
When you are comparing possibly ruining his career or making you feel lonely for a little bit, then I think the right thing to do is to take the hit and support him in this.
If he's always done this to you though, even when he has nothing important going on, then I would actually ask him why. It could be that he is paranoid about getting sick in general. It could be that he simply didn't think of it as something that would offend you, maybe that's how he's seen his family handle things like this. Or it could possibly be a part of a deeper relational issue. Either way, I think you should just tell him that when you're sick you feel especially vulnerable and you could use your man's support to get better. Ask him if he can understand that. Then go from there.
Good luck.
2006-11-24 11:29:30 · answer #2 · answered by yishor 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In the case of people living together/married, avoiding getting sick is not an option. We can not be selfish when we are in a committed relationship. If one gets sick, so does the other, that's just the way it is. Even when one sleeps in another room, it doesn't guarantee the other person won't get sick too. There are viruses everywhere. Your boyfriend could get sick in the workplace just as easily as at home, and infect you with it & still expect you to take care of him. He needs to stop being so self-centered.
2006-11-24 11:31:33 · answer #3 · answered by Elliem 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh sweetie, your bf is a jerk off. You should give him a piece of your mind. I've been sick several times during the course of my relationship. I even got very ill with food poisoning right after my bf got back from a year in Iraq, and he was with me the WHOLE time. He took me to the ER, he stayed up while I puked, he saw me at my worst, but was there for me, which is what I needed. My bf always takes care of me. And I try to reciprocate (although he usually tries to make his illness seem not bad.. such a man). I HOPE your man gets sick soon. I bet he's a whiney baby when he's sick. That's when you call him and say "Oh you're sick, that sucks, well I'm going out with the girls, I can't get sick".
2006-11-24 11:20:09 · answer #4 · answered by two_kee_kees 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I disagree/ there are ways to take care of your partner without catching whatever it is that they have, washing your hands good with an antibacterial soap and using purell, don't be kissing or hugging until you are over whatever/ but to stay completely away from someone you supposedly care about is ludicrous. He sounds to me to be either a germaphobic or doesn't give a crap about you.. either way in sickness and health and you have alot of years ahead of you. better regroup and check out your options.
2006-11-24 11:27:14 · answer #5 · answered by MKM 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any mother can tell you they take care of everyone including there man, Iv heard them say they don't have time to be sick ,but never heard it come from a man...there all sicks when it comes to being sick...But I no if I was really sick my man would be there...
2006-11-24 12:44:00 · answer #6 · answered by troble # one? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For him to say that "he cannot afford to get sick" and avoid you when you really need him to take care of you is a typical male, selfish, and insensitive. If you truly love someone it should not matter. If my fiancee got sick I would always take care of him and we cannot "afford to be sick". Through thick and thin....good times and bad...he is supposed to be there for you!! Don't feel bad, he is supposed to be your man and be doing his job...TAKING CARE OF YOU!! Feel Better :)
2006-11-24 11:19:25 · answer #7 · answered by Tiffany 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dude, he is selfish. Long as he washes his hands and don't pick his nose after he touches you, he won't catch a cold. Besides, how would he feel if no one took care of him while he's sick?
2006-11-24 11:20:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you planning to marry this guy? I would make a joke, tell him well when we get married we will be living in the same house so what will you do then? I think this is just an excuse.
2006-11-24 11:43:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, how sick is sick?
My wife, when she gets sick, prefers to take care of herself, although I am there is she wants me
2006-11-24 11:18:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋