A co-worker is an independent consultant for a candle company and pressured me into hosting a party to sell candles. I really don't want to do it, but I agreed to it because I don't know how to say 'no' to people. How can I get out of hosting it without being really rude?
2006-11-24 10:53:39 · 15 answers · asked by DaisyGirl 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Remember, I work with this person, so I can't exactly fake an illness if I see her at work.
2006-11-24 10:56:08 · update #1
We tentatively set a date, but I have not picked a time, or invited anyone.
2006-11-24 10:59:15 · update #2
Yes, I know I should learn to say no, but those salespeople can be so pushy!!
2006-11-24 11:00:40 · update #3
As you know, you are going to have to learn to say no from the start! But now that you said yes, you can either fib and say you have asked your friends if they would come, and no one wants to. That they don't like to go to any parties where things are sold. Put the blame on them!
Or just be honest and tell her you have changed your mind. As long as you have not set a date, it won't upset her schedule. If she gets huffy, tell her you are sorry, but you you just don't want to do it. Sales people are pushy---that's how they make money!
Just don't let her schedule a party and then you give a lame excuse at the last minute for not having it. That would not be fair to her or to your friends who might have given up other plans to do you a favor!
So tell her no---and soon! If she gets mad, too bad. She's been told no before.
2006-11-24 23:23:12 · answer #1 · answered by Cat Lover 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is some what serious because you are going to run into this all your life. Nip this in the bud ASAP! You are your own person and don't confuse compassion with being walked on. I have found myself in this area a lot mainly because I'm so giving and some times when your known to be giving, people think there's a sign on your forehead saying fool. If you don't want to give this party, tell your co-worker that this isn't going to work. Tell this person the truth! It would be better to have this party somewhere else like that person's house instead of yours. You don't have to give a sh*t load of reasons to say no thank you! As far as pressuring you into this, the Carma you present at work and towards your friends and piers makes the difference between wanting to help out and being pushed into helping out. Stand up on your feet and state you mind and you can take the aggressiveness out of it by suggesting other options with a smile.
2006-11-24 11:13:29 · answer #2 · answered by dhwilson58 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tell the truth. And stick to your refusal. You could say something like this:
Jane, as much as I would like to help you out by hosting a party for you, I can't. I am very sorry that I said yes to you, but the truth is I would be very uncomfortable doing this.
She may counter with more pressure and/or pleading, but just say 'No, I'm sorry'. She may not be happy, but you have not been rude - just honest. She will accept your apology eventually.
We have all been in this situation one time or another. Good luck to you!
2006-11-24 11:08:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Are you married? Do you have kids? If so you could use the excuse that one of them is sick and you have to take care of them and don't want to get the party infected. Or you have an unexpected family emergency and have to leave town the for weekend. Then sneek away to a cozy bed and breakfast with your significant other for a weekend of fun! Or just tell her that your hardly getting any responses to the party so it may not even be worth her while to throw it if only 1 or 2 people said they are coming.
2006-11-24 10:59:41 · answer #4 · answered by party_pam 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, this does present a "sticky wicket". You may be bound to hosting this party. Just grit your teeth and do it. At least, you will know better next time.
Most companies that work like this let you just have an "order" party. You really don't have to host a party in actuallity. You just take orders from your friends and family.
2006-11-24 11:18:41 · answer #5 · answered by ShaamAnsu 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Have you already set a date and invited guests? If so, it's too late to get out of it.
If you haven't told anyone else about it, talk to your coworker and say something like, "I know I told you that I would host a party, but I'm having second thoughts. Would it be okay if we didn't do it?"
2006-11-24 10:57:33 · answer #6 · answered by drshorty 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just tell her that unfortunately for reasons I cant get into right now ,I wont be able to host the party. I personally think its rude for her to put you in that position in the first place.
2006-11-24 11:02:05 · answer #7 · answered by pepsiolic 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You have two choices, tell her you can't do it or host the party. Any excuse you use to get out of it will only result in rescheduling. Just tell her you don't want to do it.
2006-11-24 12:07:58 · answer #8 · answered by Gypsy Girl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest and tell your co-worker that you have a problem saying no and that you are sorry for any inconvenience you might have caused. Don't Wait.
2006-11-24 10:58:48 · answer #9 · answered by black jack 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Offer to do a "book party" for her instead. You shouldn't feel guilty, she put you on the spot and at your house, she would put your friends on the spot to buy stuff. Good luck.
2006-11-24 11:26:53 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋