I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years.In HS, i was friends w his sister.we started dating 2 years after I graduated.We had always liked each other secretly but were in relationships in HS.He lived 2 hours away for the first 6 months of our relationship but saw me every weekend.He moved to my town and stuff was great.He hated his job and has decided to have a career change and go back to school.I support this but I know that he is nervous because even though he is really smart he "doesn't do the school thing well."We used to get in small arguments because he had to work all the time but he fixed it. Stuff has been wonderful.My problem is this...he has been really weird lately.I KNOW that it is because he has money issues on his mind and is nervous about starting school and the stress is just piling up.I love him, am comfy around him and the sex is AMAZING!I told him how I feel and he wont talk to me about it.My feelings are hurt and I dont know if it will change or if its over.
2006-11-24 10:50:46 · 8 answers · asked by ~*Amy*~ 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He loves me and we have talked about marriage. He wants to live together before marriage but my dad would kill me. I have a few issues such as religion: i believe in God and even though I don't go to church regularly, I did growing up and will once I have a family. He believes and says he eventually wants to do the church thing and to raise kids in the church but it doesnt fit into his life right now which i kind of understand. I love his family and they love me. I was happy when he was less stressed and happy but I hate how he has been acting. I love holidays and he likes them but hates how materialistic people are and how it is a time to spend with family (i agree- but i still love to buy presents for people. he does too but doesnt like how crazy people get.his "scrooge-like" attitude kills my holiday spirit.last year he bought me a tree and decorations to prove he liked holidays which was sweet/cute. we had fun opening presents together & with our families. he enjoyed it too.
2006-11-24 10:57:57 · update #1
I have been really nice lately with his stress but today he was a jerk to me in front of coworkers. He basically said, "Im leaving now." i was like...can you wait for me? and he like walked ahead of me and would talk to me or wait for me and was a jerk about it. it was embarrassing. he has never done this before. I thought that if i was nice it would help but it hasnt AT ALL! I try to help relieve stress but helping clean up his apt before his parents came, etc in hopes that it will make him chill out and be normal again. How do I know if he is "the one?" Should I stick it out or just end it? I over analyze things often and I do not think its true but I cant help to wonder if maybe I am just used to the routine and having him there and that I just don't want to end it because I dont want to start over and bc the sex it amazing...but then i think about the fun jokes we have and silly habits and it makes me smile. but what if my overanalyzation is right? HOW DO I KNOW?!
2006-11-24 11:02:30 · update #2
Hello:
One of the hardest things I have ever had to realize is that loving someone isn't enough to make a relationship work.
I was in a long term relationship with a guy, whom I was in love with. The only problem was that he was insanely jealous, and I am a little too trusting. He would assume I was cheating on him, if I had a conversation with a guy friend (a guy friend that I had been friends with long before I met my boyfriend). And if I saw him chatting with a random girl I would just assume they were chatting, and nothing more. I should also say that I have never cheated on a boyfriend, much less cheated on this guy.
Eventually he started to push the limits more and more when it came to making me jealous, so much so that he started making out with a girl at a party we had gone to together. Even though afterwards he told me that it didn't mean anything, but that he wanted me to feel jealous, it was too hurt to try to make the relationship work.
We had a long talk and learned that we had spent so much time trying to hurt each other, that we didn't have anytime to enjoy each other. Obviously our relationship was disfunctional, and I'm happy to say we are both in relationship and are successful and we are still friends with one another.
The relationship I have now is fantastic. But we still do have problems. The best thing I have done in this relationship is that we face issues head on. But we both know how we each deal with stress. When I am stressed I like to be left alone, where as he likes to be distracted and just take a break from it all. We are able to recognize when we are stressed, and how we can help the other one deal with the problem.
I would suggest that you wait it out. You've been in a relationship that has been successful for so long. Wait until he has started school and starts feeling comfortable there. But be supportive and if he doesn't want to talk to you about his feelings - just let him know that you are there for him if he ever needs to talk or a distraction.
I hope this helps and good luck!
2006-11-24 11:03:11 · answer #1 · answered by Jeanne 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If its meant to be its meant to be. My current and I had dated for a year and half, we broke up bc of stress issues, but after about 3 months we ended up getting back together and we are just as happy as we were in the very begining. You have to learn that being apart from someone that you really love is hard, but in the end its all worth the hurt.
2006-11-24 18:55:06 · answer #2 · answered by Chris 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes in a relationship, you have to go through some times of trouble and obstacles and if you both can overcome that, they you both are meant for each other. If not, if things just never work out, maybe it's just time to take a break or move on and find another relationship, but every relationship has its own problems.
2006-11-24 18:53:25 · answer #3 · answered by leazngurl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
give it time. someone wise once told me when i felt like you, "If you love him, let him go. If he is yours, he'll comeback..." i was with my boyfriend, c.h., for a year and 2 months. it was great, but towards the end, he was acting really wierd. like you, we live 2 hrs away from each other, but we don't get to see each other every weekend b/c he has work and helping his mom take care of their ranch. we broke up, i put him out of my mind, after having a good cry. but now, 3 months later, we're back together. he broke up with me. he asked me if i was sure. i told him, "if it's what you want to do, then fine." he asked me that three times, and i told him the same thing. i wasn't going to force him to be my boyfriend. if he didn't want to, that was fine by me---least i wouldn't have the guilt of ending it on my hands. now we're back together, and happy.
what i'm saying is, i know at times it can be hard. but it will look better in time. i loved him, and i let him go, but he came back. i had said no, but then remembered that saying, and turned right around at 12 a.m., and said yes. there's a light at the end of the tunnel. eventually, he will have to talk to you about it, but give him time, and don't be hasty. maybe he has other problems, that he just hasn't told you about, and he's nervous or worried about doing telling you. whatever it is, be patient. but please, don't be HASTY! give him time, then go talk to him. if you were meant to be together, you will be. if not, well then, there's plenty more fish in the sea. there's someone out there for everyone.
2006-11-24 19:13:01 · answer #4 · answered by K.D. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After you feel uncomferderable about telling people you really like him, there is silence constantly resorting to small talk, and he doen't ask you out first or call first, the fire is gone. If this is true either something to dramatic happened, one of you has gotten board, or one of you is interested in somone else. If most of them are true it is going to happen very soon, breack up. (Less pain bbefore you get set up to breack you heart.) If only one is true there is time to save the relashionship. Explain how you feel. If none of these are true, you guys are doing good!
2006-11-24 19:04:54 · answer #5 · answered by all4beingnice 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he has a lot to think about .
He is under enormous stress and is probably tired from all
that he does.
Give him time.
Leave him alone and let him have space so he can think .
Just be there for him and show him how much you love him.
2006-11-24 18:56:49 · answer #6 · answered by StarShine G 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it depends on how you feel inside
2006-11-24 18:55:20 · answer #7 · answered by todd s 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can tell trust me
2006-11-24 18:55:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋