My grandmother is depressed over the death of my mother ( 9 years ago), on top of that her husband is now sick

Question

What are some ways that I can help her get back into life. She basically wants to give up on life, since my mother isn't around. What do you think I should do?

Answer 1

The death of a child is one of the most traumatic losses a parent can experience because it does not follow the natural progression of death. In our society, it is the parent who is supposed to die first. Therefore, it is harder to reconcile the passing of an offspring. That's why your grandmother is still in mourning after nine years. Her husband's illness only adds to her depression. One of the things you can do is to be a good listener. Let your grandmother talk about her daughter, and you can add your memories. But make them pleasant ones. Talk about your childhood, and what your mom meant to you. Gather some old photographs and snapshots of your mom and you and your grandmother can make a scrapbook. Sometimes these things bring resolution. Offer to help out with your grandfather. Run some errands for your grandmother, or go with her when she takes your grandfather to the doctor. Showing that you care, can ease some of the burden for your grandmother. Finally, take her to lunch or a shopping trip to take her mind off her troubles and provide a little social outlet for her. If all else fails, talk to your clergy person. Sometimes a little spiritual help can ease the pain. Bless you for being so considerate of your grandmother. She may not thank you in so many words for your kindness, but deep down she will appreciate it. Good luck!

Answer 2

It would seemed that your husband is trying to get back at you as a sign of vengeance of what you had done to him 3 years ago. However, in a husband and wife relationship personal vendetta is a taboo and has no place in your marriage. The recent incident that made you suffered physically and mentally from your husband's cruelty is enough reason for you to make your move to seek the help of the police authority by reporting your case. You are a battered wife and there is no amount of mental reservation whatsoever from your end not to end your relationship at the soonest time possible before the worse thing will happen to you. Do ti now by simply call 911 or any of your friends or relatives. You don't deserve bruises and broken ribs but love, understanding and affection.

Answer 3

There is no specfic number of time I can recall someone saying they had a "nervous breakdown," and of all the times I've heard it, it never really mattered too much to me; until the death of my brother weeks ago. That's when the phrase "nervous breakdown" had some meaning - to me.

A nervous breakdown, also known as a mental breakdown, is defined as a sudden, acute attack of mental illness such as depression or anxiety. Causes of breakdown include chronic and unresolved grief; unemployment; academic, occupational, and social stress; chronic insomnia and other sleep disorders, serious or chronic illness in a family member; divorce; death of a family member; pregnancy; deception from a loved one; and other sudden major life changes.

The purpose of this reply is to convince you of the importance of seeking the help of a Physician, preferablly your Family Physican. Usually, it is recommended to seek professional help if the signs of clinical depression lasts more than two (2) weeks.

Family members of the deceased, e.g. mother, brother each claim to have a difference extent of grief. For example, a mother's grief may last longer than a brothers, even if the brother had a closer bond.

However, there is no scienctific way to measure these results (without it being inappropriate). Nevertheless, in my experience, I have seen a friend of the deceased show a much stronger reaction to the death than a mother.

This suggests, it doesn't matter what relationship a person has with someone who dies, but some reasonable amount of time should be allowed to cope with this tragic happening. When there is too much time aloted, signs of clinical depression (nervous breakdown) can become worse.

Now that nine (9) years has passed since the death of your mother, there may no be much hope for a normal recovery, with your grandmother. By now, she has found "her way" of dealing with the matter.

This may not be the "norm" but she deserves credit because she has, at least, be able to have some kind of normalcy in her life. And honestly, if I were you, I wouldn't even worry too much about her, because usually, experiences e.g. death of a loved one are psychological growth process that will help you to deal with future stressful events.

Student at SUNY at Buffalo recommends that you DO NOT attempt to give encouragement and reassurance when someone is in the depressed stage of grieving. It will not be healpful.

If you grandmother wants to talk, talk openly and honestly about the situation. Show that you care; listen attentively and show intrest in what the grieving person has to say about his/her feeling and beliefs.

Futhermore, if she has religous convictions, this may help you decide an expected outcome - as well. Be sure that she take good care of herself, eat well balanced meals, GET PLENTY OF REST, and be patient as long as you can, but if things get too out of hand, don't be afraid to seek the help of your Physician or counselor.

If is easy to feel that life is unfair and even that God is no longer looking over you when death hits close to you. Just remember, whatsoever your hands finds to do, do it with all thy might; there is no work, no device, and no reward in the grave where we all will go.

Hope this answer your question!

Answer 4

Spend time with her, get her involved in activities that women her age group are in. She has lost a part of her life and her past. She may also need therapy, which she may not want, but it could help her. Being alone and not talking to people about it only makes in worst for her. She has to find a reason to keep on going, sometimes even being around other kids can help. And pray for her to heal the wounds, you cannot replace the lost, but love can heal all wounds. God Bless you and I will pray for you and your family.

Answer 5

If your grandmother is depressed from a death that happened 9 years ago, she may have some serious problems with her mental health. Encourage her to get herself evaluated by a psychologist.

Answer 6

If she's truly depressed medical intervention might be a good option. It's also important to have interests and hobbies. Consider taking knitting or crocheting or rug braiding or quilting or other craft type classes with her where you can both meet other women and socialize. Those types of classes provide opportunity for contact with other people as well as something to keep you occupied and interested at home.

Answer 7

Maybe make her a scrapbook of old family memories....it may sound like that would depress her more, but it could be just what she needs to help her remember the good times. Also, find some interests that she use to have, and enjoy them with her. That is very sad. I feel bad for her. Good luck.

Answer 8

Take her out to eat once a week, try bingo or watching Jeopardy together. Be sprite and don't let her get down. Show her this site!

Answer 9

Be sure to spend lots of time with her and get her out of the house as much as possible.