We just got engaged two weeks ago and my fiance is getting cold feet already what do i do?? i really love her!

Question

My girlfriend and i had been talking about marriage for the last 6 monthes or so (her idea). I know she really loves me and i really love her but two weeks ago i asked her to marry me very romantic and she was so happy instantly calling and texting everyone she knew. Since then I have noticed her acting a little different maybe a little scared i wasn't sure so asked her what's bothering her and she says she's not sure if she is ready which to me is weird because in the last 2 weeks she found the place she wants to get married, registered at the bridal shop, picked out her brides maids dresses, and has been going through magazines for a tux for me. i talk to her about this and she says she is in love with me and hasn't fallen out of love with me but now doesn't know if we should be together at all she said she is worried that there might be someone else out there for her. I really don't know what to think or say if she loves me whats the problem? i dont wanna lose her i love her a lot

Answer 1

talk to her about it and explain that you dont have to get married right away.....im not really sure what else you can do...just try talking

Answer 2

Hmmm sounds as if she got caught up in the idea and excitement of you asking and now that she's thought about it a bit more she wants out.

I think that you need to sit her down and talk about it, tell her that you weren't thinking about the two of you getting married straight away. You were thinking that the two of you should have a long engagement and maybe get married in 2 - 2 and a half years. You need to have this chat with her seriously and then see what she says, because she might be nervous, but on the other hand i she saying that she thinks that there might be someone else out there then she doesn't want to marry you and this is her way of letting you down gently.

I know that you love her but by the sounds of things she doesn't feel the same way and I think that perhaps you should suggest that you put the engagement on hold and the two of you take a break from each other for a while. So you both decide what you want

Answer 3

Well, all that sounded like bridal jitters, right down to the second last line, when you said she is worried that there might be someone else out there for her. That's scary!
For now, do nothing. Give her a little more time to get used to the idea -- it's a big step for a gal to take -- and just relax.
You didn't say if you had set a date or not, but if you have, that might be what is making her so nervous. Offer the option of eloping, just the two of you,to some romantic spot in Hawaii or somewhere different, to see if it's the idea of the whole big wedding thing that is spooking her.

Answer 4

Do not marry this woman. If she is already thinking there may be someone else out there more interesting than you, then she isn't ready for marriage to you or anybody else. She doesn't love you, she is in love with the idea of getting married, the dress, bridesmaids, cake, relations the whole kit and caboodle. You didn't really have her to lose so dump her dear, back to your friends (whom she may well already have started easing you away from), have a good holiday and find another girl. There are lots of us out there. This one was only hanging on to you until something she thought better came along. Not a good start to a healthy relationship.

Answer 5

Don't know how long have you been together? Did either of you date other people? How old are you?

I had a similar problem with my husband, but it was him that was getting cold feet. He proposed on our second date and I knew then that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, but he had some other personal issues that scared him off for several years. We didn't split up, just took time to deal with the issues and we have been married 28 years

A good friend told me if you really love someone, let them go, if they love you they will come back. It's better to find out now before any further commitments are made than a few years down the line when perhaps there are children involved.

You may also encourage your fiance to go to premarriage counseling with you

Answer 6

WOW.... I say hold off on getting married right away and dont put any money down on anything... if she is ALREADY backing out... I dont think you two will walk down the isle. I can give you some statistics about marriage. 85% of people who marry between the ages of 18-25 end in divorce. If you are in that age group you ONLY HAVE a 15% change of staying together. Dont rush anything.... If she does back out, there are other people out there for you as well!

Answer 7

It is normal for people to have second thoughts. The closer the day comes the colder some feet get. As the day nears sometimes a mate will question herself or himself and question if this is what they want. Sounds as though she is wondering if she is making the right choice and doing the right thing for herself at this time in her life. You ought to ask yourself the same questions. Next time you see her ask her if she wants to postpone the marriage or call it off or go through with it? If she says she doesn't know then you tell her you would like to go through with the marriage because you love her so very much. Ask her if she loves you just as much. If she says yes then ask her why not go through with the marriage.....if she says no, then tell her you are going to call off the wedding despite the fact you love her so much. If she loves you, I mean really loves you she will realize you are the one for her and will go through with the wedding.

Answer 8

talk to her if she really has cold feet call off the engagement
then either leave each other or date for a set period of time you pick the time and you dont have to tell her that you have set date after which she is really into getting married if at that time she is not leave her . dont get your live messed up
marrige is for keeps despite what seems to be the norm now so dont go into it with out being as sure as you both could can
also take the ministers pre marital sessions and if he suggests that you dont marry or wait do what he says .

Answer 9

I was 23 when I got married.

When the reality of the decision set in I was frightened.

was i marrying the right person. was i to young to settle down etc.

We got engaged and decided not to set a wedding date for at least 18 months to give ourselves time to get used to the idea.

I think everyone gets frightened. The best thing in my opinion is to give her a little time to think it all through and be patient with her. Give her reassurance and do not rush her.

She will soon know if it is the right thing for her.

I wish you well.

Answer 10

I think she loves you but maybe the pressure of marriage is beginning to be too much?? its a lot of pressure on the bride to organise things have you offered to help in anyway??

I hope you sort it out you sound like an adorable couple that may have just got out your depth or beyond your control...

At the end of the day the wedding day itself is about you and her nobody else......maybe put the wedding on hold for a while and concentrate on yourselves..

Answer 11

Hi!

She obviously got caught in the romance and excitement of the engagement.

She's just got cold feet at the moment.

I would say give her as much space and time as she needs.

Remember also, if you truly love someone you have to set them free.

By letting her know that you are doing this, it will take the pressure off her and eventually she will probably come back round.

The more you go on at her, the worse it'll be for both of you.

Best of luck to you both!