ok so my girlfriend and I have been dating for about three months, but talking for about a year. She ironically asked me out the first week i went to go visit her at school.
Recently i haven't been able to visit its been six weeks. while we spoke on the phone she would constantly speak of a boy that lived on the floor below her. Then one day I had heard enough of this kid i asked her if she had a crush on him.
She said she did for a little bit of time, but then felt guilty for this and changed her mind. I appericated her honesty but was still hurt. She told me the reason why the crush happened was because i wasn't around. I didn't feel that was a valid reason. B/c i am in the same situation i don't have a crush on anyone.
I don't know what to do at all. i need help asap!
PS this is her first real relationship, she is home now for thanksgiving but what about when she goes back to school?
PPS she tells me she loves me
2006-11-24 09:12:02 · 12 answers · asked by Brian A 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
if this is her first relationship then you have to realize that all she has to go on in terms of experience is her time with you and the crap on TV. the first issue i see is the lack of trust. there's nothing wrong with having crushes. everyone can window shop as long as they don't buy anything. the next issue is communication. at least she told you it was just a crush instead of her cheating on you. you guys need to have a real talk about the relationship. the fact that you guys don't see each other is not helping either. it's all about trust, communication and compromise. if you're missing anyone of the 3 then you need to let it burn. peace.
2006-11-24 09:25:55 · answer #1 · answered by WreckinShop 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first thing you need to do is tell her how you feel. If you admit to her that her "crush" on this guy made you question where you stand in her life, she may understand what you are going through. Relationships are based on trust, she may not be ready for a deep relationship right now. Just remember, you can't change someone so its best to make a list of things you want in a relationship and person and DON'T waver from that list. Good Luck
2006-11-24 09:21:49 · answer #2 · answered by isellhousesinnm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously she needs more time to be by herself because if she really loved you, she wouldn't have developed a crush on anyone, not matter who far apart you are. But also, long distance relationships don't always work out because of the time apart. You need to think about this too. Just because you haven't developed a crush on someone doesn't mean she has your same strong will. Talk to her some more and maybe you both need to focus on school first and relationships later.
2006-11-24 09:24:45 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only a couple months and she is eyeing someone else? Man thats not a real relationship, just get rid of her and find someone else because like you say, you're in the same situation as her and you dont have a crush on anyone so uh, get rid of her before things get worse.....If she told you that she had a crush on someone then do you think she will change her mind just from talking to you? Nah.......
And she said that you were not that, well, will you be there in the future or will it be another wk or two before seeing her again??
Just something to think about
2006-11-24 09:17:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simply throw away those thoughts from your mind, and believe in her honesty. These things happen in life and on other situation it could happen to you also. Tell her it is okay and present her a beautiful gift with a note that you have never met some one quite like her before. it will work.
2006-11-24 09:22:51 · answer #5 · answered by decentguy2006 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Truthfully, there is nothing you can do. You can't police her every second nor can you worry about visiting her every other day in order to keep her faithful. Be confident, be secure in yourself, show her that you have respect for yourself. If it is her choice to stray then you have nothing to feel guilty about. Treat her nicely and hope that she is what you thought she was (and of course, keep your eyes and ears open).
2006-11-24 09:15:33 · answer #6 · answered by mosaic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't worry... there is nothing that you can do here... the fact that she told you about it is a sign of her honesty... trust her... crushes are normal and last for only a short time... she'll get over it... maybe she already has...
2006-11-24 09:28:53 · answer #7 · answered by ash3_phoenix 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am sorry for u but she probably just told she loves you so you wont feel bad but she does not want to lose you so try and find a way to work it out she just likes this guy but she must have like you more
2006-11-24 09:17:22 · answer #8 · answered by bell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dude u have trust issues with u r gf.. Atleast she was brave enough to tell you it takes a courage... why worry to much about if it was just a crush..
2006-11-24 09:16:04 · answer #9 · answered by julia1975 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dump her! she says she loves you, but she likes someone else? if she truly loved you, she would get over the other guy
2006-11-24 09:15:11 · answer #10 · answered by wildfire224 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋