What would you do if a cafe wouldn't let your 3 year old use their toilet so she wet herself?

Question

This evening, I took my two children to town to see the Christmas light switch on and all the entertainment that was going on. After an hour or so both of them (3 and 5) said they needed the toilet. The public ones were all closed and the pubs wouldn't let me use theirs due to licensing laws with children, so I went to a nearby cafe. They said I couldn't use them as they were for paying customers only. I pleaded with them explaining how desperate they were but they said no and were really rude. My 3 year old them wet herself as she had been holding it for about 20 minutes so I blew my top at them. Left and had to take my 5 year old down a dark stinking alley to do hers. Then had to take them home as 3 year old in a complete state. How can somewhere refuse a child the toilet to the point she wets herself? I'm madder than mad and feel I should complain to the cafe and the council for not having public toilets open when there were thousands of people out. What do you reckon, justified?

They both went to bed tonight so upset as they missed the lights and Santa through town when I had to take them home.

I did actually go ballistic at them before leaving and certainly will never be going there again. Am also considering letter to local paper about it!

Sorry can add that it was not possible to buy anything from the cafe as it was in the process of closing as there were loads of burger vans and stuff in town and it was empty! It's a sit down order from the menu type, no cans or quick things to buy!!

Don't worry I'm gonna make it up to them not seeing Santa by seeing one further afield that offers a whole day out in a christmas wonderland place!

Answer 1

That is terrible! my god i think i would have given myself a heart attack screaming at them if they had done that to me.
I hope your poor daughter had to wee in the middle of their cafe and you left it for them to clean up!
what ignorant pigs! i would certainly write to the council and the paper and a letter of complaint to the cafe itself.
They are children for godake, they must not have children of their own so have no clue what it is like when you kid needs the loo.
They could have put your 5 year old in such danger having made her pee in an alley! what would have happened if some pervert had spotted her!!!!
It truely lakes me sick!
I hope your girls get over it soon, its an awful thing to happen to them....and to you!

Answer 2

I once had a shop and yes people did come in and I let them, even though they were not paying BUT why should I clean up a smelly toilet for someone who does not pay for anything, it was not a public convenience I was running after all?

The council should have toilets Was there not a McDonald's or Burger King around?

To add the newspaper will not care, can I go into anywhere I like any time and use their toilet? May be I should turn up at your house and demand my child uses your toilet? Where you not j
Make sure your children go to the loo BEFORE going out ALWAYS

If you have to sit down and buy something at the cafe, too bad, the world does not revolve round your children.

Sorry this is not what you want to hear but as a parent you should plan your trip, and figure out somewhere to go, like having a small thing in a cafe or staying at home.

Maybe I should turn up at your house and DEMAND to use your toilet as though I had a right. I don't, people are in business and have to make money to survive and turning into a public toilet is not nice for other diners, to see. Something tells me you could not be arsed waiting in the queues for the council ones, and think people you have children you have a right. You don't sorry, it's the law, businesses are there to make money.

How about you set up your own public convience in the area for free and you can keep it going in cleaning materials, rent and rates.

Answer 3

I totally understand how you feel. I had my sons with me in a little local clothing stores that I have been going to for years. On every other occassion, the staff allowed my sons to use their restroom (they only have one) if they had to go really badly.
Well for some reason, they denied my oldest son the last time I went. He had to go very very badly and I was told to walk down (about a block or so) to the McDonalds and he could use the one there. If he didn't have to go so badly, I wouldn't have had a problem with their instructions.
After a few seconds of pleading and debating, I ran him down towards the McDonalds. He couldn't make it to McDonalds so he went into Subway. Well, he had an accident right there in the Subway. This is a 10 year old boy!!! He was so humiliated! I was hot hot hot! But I kept my cool. I talked with him and let him know that it wasn't his fault and then had him sit in the car while I want back to the clothing store to get him a fresh pair of pants. I made my case so clear and made them feel so badly, that they had to give him a free pair of pants. There were other customers around and it made it very hard for them to deny him as he was humiliated and the situation could have been avoided.

In my opinion, all public places should at least allow children, seniors, and the disabled to use their restrooms if it is an emergency. I don't care how many people may have asked to use the restroom at the cafe that you and you children went to for assistance. The cafe should have been helpful and understanding with respect to your children. Also, in my eyes, you are a potential customer and they should have treated your situation like it was of the utmost importance. How dare they deny a child!

And yes, children have accidents all the time, but when the accident is caused by another person's unwillingness to bend and be a bit flexible and humane in their decision making, I have to wonder.

I would suggest that you remain calm if this situation ever arises again and that you let the establishment know exactly how you feel and what you intend to do with respect to what has happened. I also suggest that you write your mayor, ward leaders, and other civic leaders and let them know exactly what happened and how you think that it was highly inappropriate for them to not provide adequate restrooms for the public during a holiday event.

Answer 4

Well, i would write and complain to the cafe owners, council for shutting public toilets knowing that the lights were being switched on, write to your local paper and name and shame these cafes. If you really wanted to take it to the extreme, you could stand outside these cafes and boycott them!! Get some friends to join you.

Why should you have to buy something anyway? I don't have the problem with the toilets yet, but I struggle to find somewhere comfy to feed my baby son. I always have to buy a coffee of something just to give him his lunch. My gripe is that most places will not heat up his food, but that is a whole different moan!!!

Answer 5

I don't know where you are from, but the organizers or community putting on a large event should have provided public toilets. In San Antonio, Texas, they bring in portable rows of toilets during parades and events.

It is unfortunate that a business would not open it's restroom for your child. From the business' point of view, letting in hundreds of people to use the toilet is not in it's best interest, but if you were the only one walking in all night, it shouldn't have mattered and makes better business sense that you would possibly come back at a later date to eat there.

As sad as it sounds, I've actually done this. Walk in, buy a soda or bag of chips or whatever to go and use the restroom. In Europe, there are places you have to pay to use the restroom, so spending $1 for a soda and using the restroom isn't that bad.

Your best bet is to write to the organizers of the event or check if there is a city ordinance stating that certain size event requires facilities.

Also, please take the kids to see Santa. They need to have a positive holiday experience.

Hope your holidays get better.

Answer 6

I think that's really a bummer too. Unfortunately probably the only thing you can do is complain and tell EVERYONE you know how rude that cafe is. It'll hurt their business and that gives you satisfaction at least. You can inquire at the city hall what kind of requirements there are for using a bathroom. I mean, the cafe can make thier own rules as they wish and that's sad they're so rediculous about something as silly as using a bathroom if you didn't buy anything. I'd complain to the city above all, they should have public restrooms open for a public event. Good luck with that.

Answer 7

I would call the mayors office and say I would like to hear their opinion on this before I have to call the local news paper. They will probably try to do something nice for you, if not then I would call the local news paper, and tell them how a bad cafe owner traumatized children because they did not get to see santa at xmas and that the mayor office did not help either.
Or
I would stand infront of the cafe with a poster where it states they dont like children because they did not let your children use the rest room.

Answer 8

I cant believe they did that to you that is so horrible i have 3 children and if they needed to go pee i would have done the same in your position my daughter has the habit of getting to a shop and wanting to go toilet when we just passed one miles down the road i too would have made a fuss if my child had wet herself cos they wouldnt let her use the toilet that is so wrong i would report the cafe to the council as well at least with adults we know when to go and we can hold it in but kids when they need to go they have to go.I do feel for you and your children the people who didnt let your daughter go should be ashamed of themselves to upset your children and spoil there time out to see santa.

Answer 9

The place where you were should have had facilities for your children to use. Its not really the cafe's fault. I'm sure the employees were just doing their job. If you feel that strongly about it then do not do business at the care and spread it out word of mouth. Other than that there isn't much that can be done.

Answer 10

n to the cafe owners, council for shutting public toilets knowing that the lights were being switched on, write to your local paper and name and shame these cafes. If you really wanted to take it to the extreme, you could stand outside these cafes and boycott them!! Get some friends to join you.

Why should you have to buy something anyway? I don't have the problem with the toilets yet, but I struggle to find somewhere comfy to feed my baby son. I always have to bu

Answer 11

This a very tricky question. You have many valid points. As I don't know where you are from, I can't make any factual observation but I can tell you that you are on the right track in the complaint department.

As you did not purchase anything at the cafe, in most cases they are perfectly justified in not allowing you to use the restrooms. I did not say they were correct, just possibly in the right in a legal sense.

I would go about as follows, depending on what the laws for slander are in your area. Write a not too nasty letter to the people in charge of the event. Explain it like you did above, and mention the name of the cafe. Put at the bottom of the letter that you will be sending a copy of the letter to the local newspaper if you do not get an answer from them with "X" number of days.

If you do not hear from them, call and ask if they got the letter. If you get stonewalled, send the next one return receipt requested explaining that this is the second one you have sent.

While you are doing this, contact the manager of the cafe. (Unless he/she was there at the time.) If the manager was not there, explain to him/her exactly what happened. If the manager does not come up with an acceptable response then you start to tell everyone you know, by word of mouth only, put nothing in writing, what vile creatures are working there.

If the event council still does not respond, try to find a good bottom feeding lawyer who will be willing to sue for emotional damage, for a percentage, with no upfront costs. Try to put everything in writing EXACTLY as it occured. Be very careful with your notes since, if you sound "unhinged", and the notes are called forth in a court of law, people may take the other side. Reasonable and prudent go a long way with a jury or judge.

By the way. Complaining to the cafe about no public toilets is a waste of time. As far as I know, there is no law that requires an establishment like a cafe (Unlike large stores such as supermarkets, etc.) to have public rest rooms.

Unfortunately, today, many people use what little power thay have in hateful, ways and just out of spite. It makes them feel good. I certainly hope that if you can't at least open their eyes, you can hit them right in the wallet. My condolences to your children. I hope you get satisfaction from this. It is truly terrible to deny a child since they have no comprehension as to why the "bad thing" is happening.

Good luck to you.