Scenario; Father and daughter astranged, father dies, new wife has a list of who cannnot come to funeral, but tells daughter and ex-wife they can come for $100.00 each, is this an approapriate amount, is it too much or not enough? Please respond, funeral is tomorrow.
2006-11-24 09:04:35 · 21 answers · asked by bluebonnetgranny 7 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I never heard anything so outrageous in my life. Poor man probably died to get away from her.
Daughter and ex-wife should not attend, they were estranged anyway, and why risk a scene at a funeral.
Funerals are for the living anyway, so they should pay respects at home. They could go to gravesite later, if they wish.
2006-11-24 09:10:25 · answer #1 · answered by Squirrley Temple 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If the funeral has been published in the paper with the time and place, it is open to the public. The only time people can be excluded is if it is a private funeral and invitations have been issued.
Sounds like this new wife is a nutcase and could cause a big scene. I'll tell you how someone I know handled a situation.
Joe was separated from his wife for 20 years. Why they didn't divorce, no one knows. It wasn't a religious reason. Joe had a lady friend Mary, and they had been together for 16 years. Joe died very unexpectedly. Wife made all of the funeral arrangements. Mary went to the church late and slipped into the back row after the wife was seated. A friend had saved her the seat. Then just before the service was over, Mary left. There was a lunch downstairs for anyone attending the funeral. Those of us who were friends of Joe's didn't go to that. We all went to the home of another friend who had a quiet party to celebrate his life. In that way, we all showed our respects at the funeral, and yet didn't have to see his wife.That is just one way it could be handled.
If daughter and ex-wife don't go to the funeral, they could have a get-together at any time soon to celebrate the father's life, and invite those people who aren't welcome at the funeral. After all, the father is gone---he won't know who is at the funeral and who's not.
There is never an admission fee to a funeral! No one is even required to send a card or flowers!
2006-11-25 08:02:37 · answer #2 · answered by Cat Lover 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow This is first I've ever heard of charging for a funeral.
I think that no one is under any obligation This woman is a whack job, and deserves to be slapped.
I would show up. There is no way this woman is going to make a scene, and if she does, she will be exposed as the evil ***** she is.
I'd also suggest a celebration of life, or a wake or memorial service in his honour. The people who are B listers can attend that, and grieve together.
There was just something like that where I live, A man died, and the obituary in the paper made it look like he didn't have a partner, because his exwife wrote it ,making it sound like they were still married. Meanwhile his partner of two years was left out. So some of her and the man's friends had a separate service, and wrote a memorial in the paper, that was respectful to the family, but also more factual
Hope this helps!
2006-11-24 17:34:46 · answer #3 · answered by somebody cares 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think it's terrible to charge an admission, in fact it's an abomination. I also think the daughter & ex-wife should also be allowed to attend the & not be charged, whether estranged or not. That's irrelavant. Donations are acceptable & should be up to the donor as incomes vary by person. A funeral is a sacred event and not a social event & should be treated as such and all harsh feelings should be put aside for the time being to show respect for the deceased.
2006-11-24 19:46:29 · answer #4 · answered by 2D 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is the most appalling thing I've ever heard of, The new wife has just lost any right to be treated as a human because she has proved she is not, in fact, human.
Charging people admission to a funeral is unspeakable, in fact, it is unthinkable and she should be ashamed of herself. She also cannot actually bar anyone from the funeral unless it is being held at her home, but this woman would likely cause a very ugly scene and only you know if it's worth it to run that risk.
I suggest that the mourners gather at a different location, perhaps a church or one of your homes, to mourn your loss like civilized people.
2006-11-24 17:47:08 · answer #5 · answered by UppityBroad68 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have never heard of being charged a fee to attend a funeral. I think the daughter and ex-wife should wait until after the funeral and visit the grave to pay their respects and not pay a fee to attend the funeral.
2006-11-24 17:15:22 · answer #6 · answered by Badkitty 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it's completely inappropriate to charge for a funeral, and I'm sorry that the new wife doesn't want other family members to come, even if she doesn't like them. I am sorry this has happened.
2006-11-24 17:26:27 · answer #7 · answered by drshorty 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is outrageous. You should not have to pay to attend a funeral. It is supposed to honour the life of the person who has died. If you feel youwant to contribute to the cost of the funeral, that's a different matter and should be agreed between all of you, but she can't charge admission!
2006-11-24 17:08:02 · answer #8 · answered by ladybird 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Please - please - call and talk to the funeral home director. It is his job to see to it that things go smoothly. Assuming it is a public funeral (and not a strictly private affair), if there is still talk of an admission charge or a blacklist of people who "cannot come", then the funeral director should be reported to the authorities. Again, it is his job and his responsiblity to straighten out matters like this.
2006-11-24 20:21:43 · answer #9 · answered by happy pilgrim 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Never heard of charging a cover charge for a funeral.
2006-11-25 01:27:29 · answer #10 · answered by m. b 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋