what do i do when my sister comes out of the closet?

Question

it was thangsgiving day and we did the usual routine an dthen all of the sudden at the dinner table she begins to cry and says she gay and tells us of her relations with her same sex partners
what should i do my mother is broken hearted and has locked herself in her room and started a prescription of antidepressants, im not sure our family can over come this

Answer 1

You need to support your sister. She didnt ask to be gay. This is harder for her than it is for anybody else. I've had gay friends and sometimes they are so scared that their family and friends won't accept them. Your mother being on antidepressants for this has got to be killing your sister.

Answer 2

This is something that I have never been through but I will try to tell you what I think.OK?Does your mother love her any less.?Has your sister changed? Your sister is the same person she has been all of her life just her life style is not what the family thought it was or should be.I know this had to be very hard for your sister to carry this secret with her for so long.If she is gay there is NOTHING that can be done about it.Your Mother must be hurting so bad as well.Try to have you your sister your Mother & Father if he is there sit down at the dinner table and talk without getting loud and have no tempers flairing up.Mother needs to understand what your sister is going trough as well as your sister NEEDS your Mother to tell her she has unconditenail love for her Good lock God bless you & your whole family

Answer 3

My brother came out to the family last Christmas. It's still hard for my mother and I live in Alaska which is over 4,000 miles away so I can't help her much.
I would say just let your sister know you still love her and you'll support her no matter what. Get your mother to talk to you and the rest of the family. It sounds like she's having a hard time and she really needs to talk it out.
Your family can get over this, tell yourself at least your sister has not murdered anyone, she's doesn't have an incurable illness and she's not dying.

Talking works wonders, getting your thoughts and emotions out in the open will be hard but it's so necessary.

Good luck.

Answer 4

Well I definitely think your fam is overreacting. It really shouldn't matter. I'm sure she didn't choose to be gay, or do it just to hurt her family. Blood is thicker than that! Tell your mom to stop being selfish and think about how your sister feels, how this is something she has been dealing with for a long time and how much it must have hurt her over the years. Lesbians can yield grandchildren too, what is she so upset about?

Answer 5

Did you love your sister before she declared her sexuality? Of course you did. It must have bothered her so much that finally she couldn't control herself.

Love her and tell her you accept her just the way she is. Being gay is just a different way of how a heterosexual orients him/herself. There is not anything wrong with it.

Your mother should be grateful that your sister is not an ax murderer. Your sis needs her family support now. The family should seek counseling if it's too much to overcome for them.

Answer 6

It sounds like a very traumatic experience for all of you, including your sister.

She has probably been keeping this a secret for awhile because she wasn't sure how you all would respond. Obviously your family didn't respond in the best way for her.

It may be weird to have a sister who is homosexual, but if you love her, accept it for what it is. She is gay, but she is still your sister. Just because she is not interested in men does not make her a bad person. Talk to your mom and see if your mom will be able to look past her sexual orientation. Good luck to you.

Answer 7

Well first of all that is not the worst that can happen. You guy will have to accept it and move on. Since that is your sister you should ask her questions like "Why she decided to go that way?" You should also accept her because no matter what that is going to be your sister. Just tell her things that will make her feel better because it wasn't easy on her telling you all. Tell her you don't understand why but you love her and you will try. No matter how you do it you will have to get over it.

Answer 8

Now that you all know about it you shouldn't have to have the discussion with her every time she is around. Let her live her life as she chooses and if you want to hear about it then listen, if you don't then tell her to keep her love life out of the conversations. It's her life and her choices. She will have to live with them. It sounds like she isn't too happy with her choices if she is crying about it. And bringing it up at a family get-together is strange. If it were me, I would tell only my mother or a sibling in private then tell the others one on one when the time is right.

Answer 9

Love is patient...Love is kind....Understanding and not hurtful.... ICorinthians, Chapter 13. You are supposed to be able to count on your family through the hard times. This is your sister's choice...maybe not conventional but nevertheless her lifestyle. Your mother would have eventually been asking questions about children if she never had any or a husband. Things will get better over time...Pray.

Answer 10

you make sure your sister knows you still love her. she is going to have a hard time with this because your family is reacting poorly. She has already come to terms with her homosexuality, so it is upsetting that her family disapproves. It is also important that you talk to your mother. It seems you are less phased by your sisters change. Talk to your mother about how she is still your sister, still her daughter, and that she still loves her daughter. Remind her that your sister is still your daughter, and that she needs to let her daughter know she loves her. She can be in shock over the situation, but it is important to keep communication, and stay open for understanding.