does anyone out there have a child with autism and want another child?

Question

my son is an absolute joy. he has pdd nos. he's 5 and he has a sister 7 (she's fine). i love my children to death, we were told that are chances of this happening again are pretty slim. (they did genetic testing) lately i've been wanting another child, my husband doesn't at least not right now. anyone else go through the same thing.

should I say he's actually changed his mind i went off of depo in feb, went on some meds to help get pregnant, now he's changed his mind, which to me is heartbreaking.

Answer 1

My brother had four kids, two with autism. We we all love all the kids, I would not recommend it. Of course, that depends on the development of the child. My niece is 10 & can't yet speak. If my niece had Asperger's (could talk well, etc.) it would be much less difficult to have a second child with that condition. Of course, just because one child has a mild form of autism, doesn't rule out a chance of having another child with more severe autism.

If a couple has the genetic make up for autism to be poss. as you two apparently do, the odds of another child being autistic goes up to 4 out of a hundred.

A recent study suggests the age of the father is a significant factor in the risk of a child becoming autistic. The odds are almost doubled after age 35, quadrupled after age 40. (My brother's first autistic child was born when he was 36, his second born when he was 41).

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I would be curious to hear what kind of genetic testing your Dr. did to determine your chances of having another autistic child were slim, considering I never heard there was any concensus on which genes cause autism.

Answer 2

What everyone here is saying is totally different than what I've heard... I've heard that you have a very HIGH chance of having more than one child in the spectrum. So, I don't know. That study that was done on the age of the fathers, I don't believe at all. I think it's just another grasp at trying to find blame for autism. I have a 4 yr old who is mildly autistic. They weren't sure if he was PDD-NOS or just high functioning, but knew he definitely wasn't Asperger's. He has made remarkable progress, but that's not the point. I was already pregnant with his brother when I found out he was autistic, and was scared to death. Josh is 2 now, and is perfectly fine. He has some mild sensory issues, but we all do, so that's no big deal. We are planning on trying for a third very soon. Yes, I know there are risks. But, my Tim is the most amazing child, and I would hate to think what I would be missing if I hadn't had him under the fear of 'what if.' We all know that with having children we risk them being born with any disease. That's just a part of life, and imagine what the world would be like if nobody had kids because of those fears. We wouldn't be here. I'm not saying my life is easy. I do all my own therapies, have spent countless hours researching, talking to other parents, learning from them how to manage my child's autism and more importantly, teaching him how to manage it. I will be homeschooling my kids, so I KNOW it's not going to be easy. But, I feel, that's my job. Nobody told me being a parent would be easy, that I would have perfectly healthy children who would live to be 100. For all any of us know, our 'normal' kids could be in a car accident at some point and become a vegetable that we have to raise for the rest of their lives. Does that mean we don't have kids for fear of that happening? That would be very sad, wouldn't it? I hope you are able to change your husband's mind, I know that has to be heartbreaking. Once we get that NEED to have another, it's so hard to stifle it. Please feel free to contact me, for support, and friendship. Best wishes to you and yours. Love those little ones with all your heart, they were given to you for a reason!

Answer 3

I have a 7 yr old girl who is autistic, I have a 5 yr old girl who is just fine and I have a 2 1/2 yr old boy that was given the pdd/nos diagnosis the end of October. I'll be honest with you...its a gamble. My oldest child goes to NECC in MA and you see alot of sibilings with autism but, my only advice is go with your gut. If you want 3 kids have them. Just hang on tight...it a rollercoaster.

Answer 4

I am sorry to hear that your child is suffering from autism. I do not know if you have heard (or read) that autism is one of those diseases that can be reversed, and or cured. And, I know that you had genetic testing done by doctors and all. But, it seems that the medical profession is very good at using "rabbit trails," to get people to focus on the wrong things, and to drive research on diseases, away from the real cures and causes (which are only two; Toxins and Parasites). According to Dr. Hulda R. Clark, Ph.D., N.D., one of the main causes of autism in children is exposure to lead. And, I know that most mothers do all that they can to keep their children from being exposed to different toxins, but the toxins and chemicals are showing up in so many different place and different ways in our envirnoment, to include our foods and even in the disposible diappers that children are put into, today. (Years ago, mothers used cloth diappers that were washed and reused, instead. However, Dr. Clark recommends that Mothers, today, at least line their child's diapper with a paper towel to keep the toxins that are found in the disposible diappers away from the baby's skin, and therefore being absorbed.) And, I know that your child is older, now. (Just in case you and your husband do decide to have more children.) At the least, I would recommend that you all get a copy of Dr. Clark's flagship book, called "The Cure For All Diseases." She does give examples of how and under what conditions that she has helped parents to reverse and, or cure autism, in young children. As the name of her book implies, all diseases are preventable and curable. Good Luck and Godspeed to you and yours.......See the link below.

Answer 5

The chances of a couple with one autistic child having another are very slim; there's some reseach suggesting multiple autistic children might have to do with a problem with the mother's antibodies; I wouldn't know. Good luck! (-=

Answer 6

Yes, she's 6 & her sister 8,-fine-, but I'm the one that insisted on not having any more, it is to tiring and I would rather give it all to her than neglecting/involving a third. Ask a friend to babysit for her, it might just change his or your mind. If not, don't wait to long, time doesn't stand stil.

Answer 7

I would err on the side of caution. There are many families with
more than one child on the spectrum and probably many families with one. What about trying to adopt a child?

Answer 8

i work with kids on the spectrum, and lots of our parents only have the one kid. I see a lot more patience in the ones with more than one. You and your hubby have to be on the same page though or that will be a bigger stress that how the next kid is.

Answer 9

I really don't know what to tell you. But still send my best wishes to you !!! Good luck girl !