Ok, here's the story. We work together and are both married but not happily. Here's the catch... He's a really wonderful guy,...warm, caring, sensitive...but his wife walks all over him. I am SO in love with him (we're really great friends...) and I'm almost positive he has feelings for me too, but we're both afraid to tell each other. I know you're all thinking that I need to look the other way and RUN! Leave him & his wife alone, but it's not that way. He is not a cheater and neither am I. It just so happened that two completely innocent people ended up together and there was chemistry. So, I don't want to break up his family, I just simply want to know if I'm right...that he DOES like me too. But how can I get him to tell me if he feels the same way? Or how do I know for sure WITHOUT him telling me? Are there signs I should look for? Or is there something I can say to him without making him run for the hills? I don't want to lose his friendship...
2006-11-24 06:46:44 · 13 answers · asked by AmyLynn1968 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you have a solid friendship, you should be able to discuss this on an intellectual level. Many of us love men other than our husbands. We are human, and humans can't always pick whom they will ffall in love with. Just be supportative of each other, but get your boundaries REALLY clear before you proceed and always honor those boundaries no matter what. I wish you well.
2006-11-24 06:51:04 · answer #1 · answered by tiafromtijuana 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're going down a bad road here, honey. You say you don't want to break up his family, but you want to know if he is in love with you. But what would you do with that information?
You say neither of you are cheaters. But you're married to someone and in love with someone else?
Sounds like you need to work on your marriage. Make it better or get out of it, and do that before you start worrying about being in love with someone else, who is also married and should do the same thing.
Real love would not have you in this quandry.
2006-11-24 06:51:18 · answer #2 · answered by cdvpruthe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The trouble with this is that your desire to know is going to ruin your marriage. If that is what you want - then go for it. Just be prepared to break a lot of hearts (including, possibly your own).
It's great to want to know if someone is interested in you - but you clearly have strong feelings for this guy so if you know he feels the same, then what? Will you guys both be content in knowing?
I say you should consider what your marriage (and job) really means to you. If you are willing to lose your marriage (and job) for a relationship that may not work out, then go ahead.
If you aren't willing to risk everything over a potential nothing, then keep your feelings to yourself and pray that they eventually go away.
I know that sounds harsh, but I have to be honest with you. It sucks when you fall for the "wrong person"... I'm wishing you the very best.
2006-11-24 06:51:07 · answer #3 · answered by ♪ ♥ ♪ ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
are both married but not happily. Here's the catch... He's a really wonderful guy,...warm, caring, sensitive...but his wife walks all over him. I am SO in love with him
Wouldn't it be REALLY funny if another woman was saying the same about your husband!
2006-11-24 06:53:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems to me you need to work on your marriage...
If you are truly "unhappily" married then you can get divorced and screw around with every Tom, Dick and Harry you become infatuated with.
Realistically, you know this man from work... You have no clue what he is like intimately. You only know what he tells you and to be honest, men who are dogs will tell you all kinds of things to get into the sack with you- including how terribly unhappy they are in their marriage.
Mind your thoughts...those are the seeds of your feelings. Work out the problems in your own marriage- that's why you took the vows to begin with... Go see a counselor, get marriage therapy, dedicate some time to some honest, loving conversation with hubby or get him the hell out of your life and stop wasting both your times...
2006-11-24 06:56:15 · answer #5 · answered by An Opinionated One 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's o.k. to keep the friendship but you must lose everything else. You two are married. Stay focused on your marriages. You'll both only be hurt in the end. I speak from experience.
2006-11-24 06:52:09 · answer #6 · answered by gemone523 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WELL THE ANSWER IS TO ASK HIM IF HE IS WILLING TO GIVE UP HUS RELATIONSHIP TO BE WITH YOU AND THE BIGGEST QUESTION IS ARE YOU WILLING TO DO THE SAME LOVE IS HARD WHEN TWO PEOPLE DO NOT LOVE EACH OTHER AND ONLY STAY TOGETHER BECAUSE OF OTHER REASONS BUT LOVE. YOU WILL HAVE TO BE HONEST WITH HIM AND HE WITH YOU ITS NOT A JOKE WHEN TRUE LOVE DOES COME BUT TO KNOW YOU HAVE TO ASK. I HOPE THIS HELPS
2006-11-24 06:55:03 · answer #7 · answered by riverlovingbiker 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd get a divorce first. But if you really want to know just ask him if he were not to have his wifey and he could have anyone in the whole world who would it be?
2006-11-24 06:49:28 · answer #8 · answered by ~Another Day~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want to lose his friendship then just be his friend.
2006-11-24 06:49:22 · answer #9 · answered by regurgitated_society 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are cheating. its called an Emotional Affair.
2006-11-24 06:48:51 · answer #10 · answered by Latino_Lifestyle 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋