I divorced the father of my children, cause he beat me, basicaly, he was a waste of space. he has never supported his kids, no birthday pressies, christmas, nothing!!! he has seen them twice, in 19 yrs. I gave my life up, to support them, single handed, it was hard! Now, today, it is my daughters birthday, i spoke to her on the phone, and she suddenly put me on hold. I waited, she came back, said her dad is on the other line, so she will ring me later. I told her, i am not going on hold for him!!! She hung up on me. I am really hurt!! She text me, said i should not get upset, he rang her, and it is not her fault! Why did she put ME on hold? I feel really upset about this, he has not cared about her, all her life, now, he is more important. I think she is wrong, she should have put HIM on hold. It sucks!
2006-11-24 06:43:54 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Take it as a compliment she knows you will always be there always love her +never turn your back so she can put you on hold because shes secure in your love........the other as*shole well he is just that and she has no security or faith in him...if she put him on hold he may not ring for another 5years,i totally understand your hurt my ex was/is the same+id go mad+feel so hurt if he came back into my childrens lives
2006-11-24 08:47:17 · answer #1 · answered by Nellynoo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I also think that she should have put him on hold rather than you. But give it a day or two and I'm sure that she will ring up and apologise. I realise that you are upset over this but don't make this incident cause a row between you and your daughter, because she will mention it to her father and he could use it to his advantage and say things like, well this is the reason I had to leave and this just the way your mother is etc. So if I were you don't mention her father when and if she rings, just try and block him out of the picture and talk about everything but him
2006-11-24 09:01:06 · answer #2 · answered by Baps . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you, I would be just as hurt, she probably put you on hold because she knows your there for her all the time and going no where, with him she is probably curious and didn't want to loose the moment, which is understandable. I'm a single parent myself and so can relate, have also bought my daughter up alone since she was 11months old, she's now 16. Trust in the way you have bought up your daughter, she knows how much you've done, trust that! She'll see right through him, and unfortunately you are going to have to be there to pickup the pieces. A mother's work is never done!
2006-11-24 08:05:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have no doubth you love your daughter very much. But you don't own her. It's obvious you have not up until the phone call to her on her birthday shown how much you dislike her father even though down through the years the opportunity to do so must have presented it's self many times. Did it ever occur to you that your daughter has been in contact with her father for a while how else did he get her number. He is her father and maybe he's trying to make up for lost time. Don't get envolved in this area it's between them. She will respect you more for it. Let her know how you feel and tell her the decision is hers then STEP BACK...
2006-11-24 10:35:19 · answer #4 · answered by justinoc1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my own opinion i think of that a bodily absent father is worst than an emotionally absent father because of the fact the toddler could think of that they have no self-worth and that the daddy thinks they are not important adequate for them. a minimum of the emotionally absent father is there and that i'm no longer saying that being emotionally absent is from now on suitable because of the fact a toddler desires the two mothers and dads to be bodily and emotionally there of their existence.
2016-11-26 20:18:17 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The thing is if he as rotten as you say he is she will find out for herself.........
I did my Mum and family had put him down all my life and I said to my mum give him a chance you were both young etc.....but he proved to be a total waste of space....he lied constantly which bought back childhood memories etc...
Im sure your daughter is clever enough to suss him out......As for putting you on hold don't take it too heart she knows you are constantly there and is safe in that knowledge.....she needs to fit stuff in with him cause who knows how much longer he is gonna be around.....
Don't worry she is your daughter,
She is curious thats all, I was, its hard knowing someone else is out there which is part of you and do look or act like him
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2006-11-24 06:47:24 · answer #6 · answered by xXx Orange Breezer xXx 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My dad left the family home when i was 7..and i didn't see him until i was 15..like you ex..my father never called..sent x-mas birthday cards..nothing..yet as soon as he visited i would have jumped though hoops for him..i wanted so much to know my father...and sadly still do..Your daughter didn't do that to upset you at all...if she is anything like me its was because she felt that if she put him on hold he would walk out on her again..my mother is my life and i would never intentionally upset her..she like you gave up so much...really she didn't do this to hurt you ..((HUG)) talk to her and explain that her actions hurt you..
2006-11-24 21:33:16 · answer #7 · answered by DELETED!! 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel sorry for you. Yes I could understand how that would hurt. Yes your daughter should realize that. But unfortunatley children dont think that way. I don't think in her mind she meant any harm. I think she could be overwhelmed and in time when she is older believe me daughters especially remember when time moves on who which parent was truly there. You will always be her first choice parent. But she should next time if she is talking to you first thenhe calls then she should tell him to call back later.
2006-11-24 15:41:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She will always know she was rejected by this man, may be she doesnt want it to happen again. Either way let her work through her issues be a mother and do the hard thing by zipping the lip. She needs time to grow up and grasp this situation.
2006-11-24 08:22:50 · answer #9 · answered by oceanwaves 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know that feeling my ex walked out 14 years ago, not a penny nothing in the whole years, this year my 2 oldest sons 16 and 18 rang him i was hurt i brought them up on my own without a penny makes me SO mad and to think they wanted to see him, but i keep my mouth shut and let them arrange and a meeting but he never turned up anyway, yes i felt bad for the boys that he didn't but me ever seen some one with a smug look lolololol let them work it out for them self they always came home.
2006-11-24 07:02:24 · answer #10 · answered by LISA T 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋