I am 33 and have two children w/ a 42 yr.old woman who i love and care about, but I did fall in love with an 18 yr. old young lady. They both know just about everything there is to know about eachother and the relationship the 18 yr. old and I have (minus sex), however I think the "wife" probably has that figured out and is not pushing the issue for some reason. I love my "wife" but I am IN love with my "mistress". I dont know what is right, wrong or indifferent. The story gets even more complicated, obviously from my end anyway, and just was curious as to what I could do to help myself be more aware of exactly what it is I have gotten myself into and what I can do to clear up some issues that seem to hold some of the answers needed to be as honest and fair as humanly possible to all persons involved. Including the children. I want to add the fact that this 18 yr.old is not typical, I know everyone whos done this has probably said the same thing, but she is very unique. What do I do..?
2006-11-24 06:42:31 · 11 answers · asked by nitsud 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You need to make up your mind....your being selfish and its not fair to them or your kids. You been with you wife for awhile and this 18 yr old for a little time I assume. Do you really see yourself in a true relationship with a 18yr old?_
2006-11-24 06:47:08 · answer #1 · answered by Chickybabe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speaking from experience, I'm 41 and the love of my life is 24, things will be tough to begin with if you do decide to leave your wife for this girl. Your children will be worst hit by all this, you don't say how old they are but if as I suspect they are old enough to understand what is happening, you will have to be incredibly careful how you broach the subject if indeed you do decide to leave home.
However if you feel that you are "in love" with your mistress, and only "love" your wife, there is a much deeper seated problem that you have to address. What has went wrong with your marriage that you are looking elsewhere?.
Until you figure that out, stay where you are and do not wreck your marriage and your kids until you are totally sure that this is what you need to do.
And in the meantime do not see the other young lady, (I am assuming she knows about your wife and family), tell her that you need to figure out what has made you stray and if she loves you back she will give you the space you need.
Good luck.
2006-11-24 07:12:29 · answer #2 · answered by Mark C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's never good to get into an extra marital affair. You shouldn't have gotten married in the first place. Your family will suffer in the long run. Remember, the 18 year old is someone's daughter too. How would you feel if your daughter dated a 33 yr old married father of two?
2006-11-24 06:47:58 · answer #3 · answered by gemone523 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOVE HER..... Deep down you can tell if she loves you or not. If you think she does, then let yourself love her. There should be no hesitation when taking a leap like this. Love is something you do head first and your eyes wide shut. It is okay not to know for sure. If you are not in love with the woman you are living with, then by living with her you are being untrue to yourself, her, and your children. If you think that by staying with a woman you are not in love with, you are helping your kids, you are wrong! You are denying them the knowledge of true passion that is suppose to be present in a relationship. Your children need to know passionate love so that when they go into their own relationships, they won't end up in that same grey, fireless love that you are in now. They just won't know any better, because that is all you presented them with when they were in their crucial years of life. They are at a time in their life where all they are doing is absorbing. Think to yourself.....Are they really absorbing the things you want them to reflect in their adulthood? If not........CHANGE IT!!! You have that power to make your life into something that , if reflected by your children, you can be proud of. Live your life by the advice you would give your children. a parent always wants nothing but happiness for their children so if you do that, you will have happiness in your own life. If one of your children where in this situation, what would you want them to do? How you feel about this 18 year old is not something you have control of. BUT, how you handle it is something that you can control and IS something that can become a life lesson for your children.
******* JUMP ALREADY!!!
2006-11-27 06:24:04 · answer #4 · answered by Sinatra 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're married with kids. Stop playing adultery with the 18 year old girl and stay with your wife.
If you REALLY loved your wife, you wouldn't even THINK about being with an 18 year old girl.
End it with the 18 year old kid or divorce your wife. It's that simple because if you continue this with the mistress, your wife WILL divorce you anyway and you'll also lose your kids. Do you really want that?
2006-11-24 07:03:08 · answer #5 · answered by Nancy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are not having sex with the younger one then she is not yet a mistress.
I am 19 and happen to be a mistress with a very nice much older man and I like him but am not in love with him. I also see a boy near my age for who I do have love feelings. Strangely the relationship with the older man is better.
2006-11-24 07:19:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be faithful to your wife and kids find "how to divorce proof you marraige" By Dr. Rosburg and his wife. Don't mess with this 18 yr old, Get the bible New king James and see what God says about it . BTW He says it is wrong.
2006-11-24 06:55:04 · answer #7 · answered by alanpendragon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It will never work out your too old and she'll leave you for a young guy more her age after she gets tired of looking at your saggy body, stick w/ the wife and kids your wife really loves you.
2006-11-24 06:47:00 · answer #8 · answered by juicy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Old mever think "their" teenage little girl is "typical" - if she were typical she'd be dating college boys, not grown men. Stop being a self-indulgent turd and leave the teenage girls alone. Your kids won't be proud of you!
2006-11-24 06:46:26 · answer #9 · answered by Violet Pearl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you have to look inside you and figure this out, are you still inlove with your wife and do you want to move on, talk to your wife about your marriage and go from there
2006-11-24 06:53:58 · answer #10 · answered by goodlookin.mama 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋