Why should he care when he's not doing anything for her.?

Question

Hi, i've been seeing my boyfriend for a year and he's really good with my daughter and i we always spend time as a family. My daughters father is in and out of her life and has been keeping her ocassionaly when i have things to do. She will stay with him but she will cry to go home. He wonders why shes so anti-social with him, duh its because she doesnt know him well. Anyway its the opposite with my boyfriend. They love eachother and she calls him uncle-daddy. He doesnt seem to mind. I've noticed that yesterday i took her to see her dad and she was very cold with him, she didnt want to stay, but she was so happy when i took her over my boyfriends house. He doesnt know i have a boyfriend and I dont get into his personal business because I dont care.If he knew his kid was calling another guy dad he would get so mad but why would he care when he's not doing sh!t for her? Am I a bad mother?I dont care too much for her father but he is starting to get on my nerves now.

I always show him respect when I am around him. The way he acts makes me sick of him. I didnt use to feel this way but yesterday was the last straw, he feels that he can talk to me any kind of way and that I should keep him updated on everything, I dont call him much, I shouldnt have to and I shouldnt have to chase him down but I am through with his mess, there are too many other things to worry about in my life.

the only way he sees her is if i bring it up or ask if he can take her for a few. he doesnt offer to get her much and i dont talk to him much. ive gone months without talking to him. he just does nothing for her, no child support, no clothing, nothing for x-mas or anything. if i hadnt taken her over there for thanksgiving yesterday, there would've been no contact. i am not trying to push her towards anyone but her father but what can i do if he wont do anything for her?

Answer 1

You're not a bad mother and it is solely your daughter's choice on who she sees as her parents. I mean its obvious, as to why she calls ur bf dad since he is the one who actually assuming the role of father and if your ex has a problem with that then he needs to start playing more of a role in her life. It's not your fault that she is doing that, it is strictly his. You can't make her stop and you're not the one who influenced her to call ur bf dad so you shouldn't feel guilty about it. He can be mad all that he wants but until he makes more of an effort to get to know his lil' girl then he can be mad at no one but himself. In addition, even if she still calls ur bf dad if he does make more of an effort he needs to grow up and accept it for what it is. Good luck and take care:) but don't feel bad because you arent doing anything wrong.

Answer 2

no matter what he is the real father. sometimes when you act a certain way with the real father guess what the child does everything mommy does, that may be why she acts like that toward the father. I don't know the situation but. if he is seeing her it could be worse. my brother hasn't seen his child in 6 years not even a call, so at least he is talking to her.

Answer 3

I feel you. Im kinda in the same situation..And I'm like you... I don't care what my ex thinks..Yall aint together no more ..and If he aint doin nothin fa her..he has no room to talk!!!!!!!! Go on with your new realtionship and make the best of it. Not really sure if ur daughter should be calling him uncle-daddy though. But if he does for her and she's happy w/ him then...whatever makes her happy!!!