We know and understand the risk with Foster to Adopt, but with this little baby girl, it was looking good for a long time, then all of a sudden the Aunt has pressured a cousin to submit application for the baby. Cousin was reluctant and wouldn't return phone calls to SW at first. Baby has LOTS of issues, which cousin wasnt too happy about, cousin is about to be married and has just found out she has fertility issues, so now is isn't SO reluctant! Now they are awaiting homestudy and are coming in from out of town to see the baby! OF COURSE they will fall in love with her!! Just because she is BLOOD relative, she is best choice? She's been dragging her heels since September, but hey, now that she has finally agreed to homestudy, so what, they'll just be able to adopt her? Baby needs LOTS of support in years ahead, need to be committed %150! We ALL love her! Reality is we'll likely loose her, but it just doesn't seem fair that their motivation doesn't seem pure or focused on THIS BABY!!
2006-11-24 05:53:28 · 11 answers · asked by ♀♥☼ alycat☼♥♀ 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It's sad that family members who may or may not be ready or able to adopt can just come in and ruin things for well meaning non relatives. Pathetic really, IMO.
I'm sorry you're going thru this, I can't imagine how heart wrenching it must be for you.
It is the hope that adoption agencies realize this, you would think that SOMEONE is smart enough to see that perhaps YOU are the right persons to be the parents.
Keep your faith. Good luck.
2006-11-24 05:59:29 · answer #1 · answered by vamedic4 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am a foster parent myself and understand what you are going through. I too had a baby boy from 5 days old until he was 6mths old. Baby had many problems and so did the parents, my situation was tough because my husband knew the father of the child. I knew everything about the case-from both sides!
This is how I took on my obligation of being a foster parent...
I listened to the parents stresses, and also their problems. Knowing that the parents were still unstable, and knowing them personally, I still went to the childs social worker and discussed my concerns. I let her know of drug abuse still taking place, and also that the parents were being evicted from their apartmt.
So please, contact the baby's social worker, tell her your concerns of the cousins "all of a sudden" desire to want the baby. Also, a big help is the childs pedi., you have been taking the baby there for a while now and have established a relationship w/ him or her--they can actually suggest things to the social worker--anything that would be in the best interest of the child.
I do believe the "system" in all states needs re-examination. I DO NOT feel that children are placed with realitives for the right reasons. I believe they are placed there many times because it's cheaper for the state. Relatives will recieve a portion of what foster parents recieve, which is "just enough". A person who becomes a foster parent should be doing this great deed because of a love for children. If the social worker and childs doctor does not work, then get your own attorney and proceed. You would be fighting against the state and the realitives. You have alot on your side already, the child has a bond with you, your a licensed foster parent, and your willing to accept and take care of the baby's special needs. Make sure you mention everything to the doctor, social worker and attorney (if necessary). A good step to take would be to go to the social workers "supervisor" also. I took that route with many of my concerns too--and it worked!
I wish you the best of luck to you and your family. I praise you for being such a caring person. Don't give up!!!
2006-11-24 06:47:46 · answer #2 · answered by jpf 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
All infants are diverse. My daughter began 'sound asleep throughout the time of the night' (from 10 p.m. to 6 a.m.) at around 7 months. some infants initiate sound asleep via at 2-3 months -- some nonetheless prefer a night feeding for 9-12 months.
2016-10-17 11:52:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, it's not fair. neither to you or the baby. fight to the best of your ability. but you are right, it doesn't look too good. once you get emotionally attached to a person, it's so hard to loose them.especially since you have the feeling she'd be much better off with you. if and when it happens, grieve. and try not to get hardened by this. kids need people like you and someday, you'll have a kid! and it will be very lucky to have you. i hope it will be this baby girl! good luck and stay strong!
2006-11-24 06:08:51 · answer #4 · answered by gabriela 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dont give up, just because she is a blood relative does not mean that she is the one to raise a special child. Good Luck!
2006-11-24 05:58:22 · answer #5 · answered by mnwomen 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
IT is verry hard to loose something or someone who you love verry much but, what you should do is Take this problem to GOD> For he is in controol of every thing and he is the Problem solver.If you loose the baby, Then it is GODs will, All I can tell you is to PRAY And keep Praying. GOD will hear.
2006-11-24 06:03:01 · answer #6 · answered by mswildman2005 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
the only thing you can do if you loose her is to grieve. I will keep you in my thoughts that you do get to raise her. ask the 'cousin' if you can be a part of her life.
2006-11-24 05:58:23 · answer #7 · answered by harleychic 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would fight tooth and nail for her and the hell with blood relationship, that means nothing. Who has been around from day one this is all that counts FIGHT! for her is you can financially
2006-11-24 06:00:16 · answer #8 · answered by picture 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Foster another child.
2006-11-24 05:56:27 · answer #9 · answered by Leo F 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Honey, you had to have known this going in. You'll just have to hang tough and get through it. You might lose her and you might not, you already knew there were no guarantees.
2006-11-24 06:00:09 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋