Problem with sisters depression please help!?

Question

My sister is really depressed and takes all kinds of medications but they are not helping. She says she is going to counselor but then never goes. My parents baby her and allow her to continue to stay stuck and not grow. It bothers me cause i love my sister. She spends every meal and every single waking day at parents house. She has no self esteem. She doesn't hang out with friends or even talk to guys. I know this makes her sad and she wants to change..but my parents never encourage it. She spent a week on bedrest because of a very minor infected toe. IT drives me crazy because i am tough and i think she needs a dose of reality because my parents only tell her exactly what she needs to hear. She has surrounded herself with "yes men". I don't know what to do anymore sometimes i have to stay away from going over there because i feel like my parents and my sister can not handle the truth. Sometimes i wonder if all these medications are just making here worse. Please help!!!

Answer 1

I think your parents are the problem. Someone has to let them know they are no help to their daughter and show them that she has to face reality.

Answer 2

I understand that it's tough to deal with someone who is depressed, but I feel that you are focusing more on how this is becoming an inconvenience for you, which is a bit selfish when it comes to someone that is suffering.

Think of it as if it were a terminal illness. If you're sister was terminally ill, would you fault her or your parents for it?

Mental health doesn't get nearly as much attention as physical health, yet it's equally important.

I can empathize with your sister, because I've suffered from debilitating depression for many years. I didn't get much support from my parents or my siblings for the same reason. Fortunately, I had people in my life that were concerned enough and provided me the support I needed, giving me the motivation to change the way I was feeling and ultimately, get back to living the life I had planned on living.

You say that you avoid your family, because they can't handle the truth, when it's really probably you that can't handle the truth. It's a natural feeling for you to feel uncomfortable and maybe you're just not strong enough to deal with it. The same has happened with me, where I couldn't handle it myself when it came to some of my other relatives. But I didn't resent them for it, I just accepted the fact that I couldn't handle it and gave whatever support I could.

If you want to help your sister, the only thing you can do is be supportive. The more support she has, the more strength she will derive from it. Unfortunately, mental illness can't be cured like an infection, where she doesn't need to be involved and just take antibiodics and be done with it. Since it's in her head, she herself has to do all the work, she has to put in the effort to get better and she's going to need as much strength and support as possible.

I would advise that you educate yourself more on depression and the different treatment options available. Talk to your sister, ask her how she feels and how it's effecting her - ask her as many questions as possible, show her your concerned and that you want to help her and that you will support her. That kind of support may be enough to motivate her to get more help.


If you do decide to get involved, I recommend that you get as much information as possible regarding her condition and treatment options available.

Do you know anything about the meds she's taking? How they work? Whether people find them effective or ineffective? What other medication options are typical in treating her condition? Who is her Psychiatrist and what was she diagnosed with? Can you go with her next time she visits her psychiatrist? Now that she's diagnosed, what are the best treatment options available? What are the options for talk therapy? How can she benefit from group therapy? What Dr's are available and how have they helped other people in her situation? Are their any support groups near by that she can attend so she doesn't feel alone?

There are a pleathora of credible websites and discussion boards available for you to get all this information. It can be tedious, but you'll be surprised how good it will feel to get a better understanding of what's going through and feel more comfortable being around her.

You say that your parents aren't doing this; so maybe it's your time to step up. That would certainly be more productive then resenting her and your parents and avoiding them entirely.

Answer 3

Wow. I have Bipolar Disorder and there's one thing I do know about dealing with depression. It helps to go see someone outside of your family. It seems as if the parents are being over protective and in the same token not educating themselves on mental health. Despite the "Tom Cruises" of America, medication is vital. I'm not to thrilled about taking pills, but they help. If the meds aren't they are not working then that is a sign that she needs to seek a second opinion. Sit down and have a serious talk with her (no parents included) to see what's really going on. If she doesn't seek psychological help, who knows what could happen next? And prayer is important. God knows all things, ya know?

I know what you're going through because my sister felt the same way. I will keep your family in my prayers, because depression is a hard pill to swallow.

Answer 4

This is a very good blog, a beginner’s guide to abnormal psychology.
Short, clear and simple; and you can even post your question and contact the author regarding particular subject you are interested in, for FREE

http://sensitive-psychoworld.blogspot.com/

Answer 5

Im so sorry for that! I had the same problem years back but now im ok...You know what is the best solution for this, you may not believe it but it was the first step for me to cure my self, let her be closer to God, let her keep prayiny and she will feel the power then.

Answer 6

be invloved with her. help her to help herself offer her to go do stuff with you. and sooner or later she will realize that thats all you want, and hopefully she will break through to you. my sister was the same way, and I I had to be the "parent" and help her get out in to the world! but dont give up on her! and if it really bothers you, go talk to a therapist, they will have a lot of ways to help you help her! good luck!

Answer 7

Look into Emotional Freedom Technique, EFT. It can really help and is easy to learn.

Answer 8

meds can't do squat woithout some intervention. try ayurvediccure.com 4 alternatives. meds make you lazy. so get her off of it. and try natural stuff to boost her energy.