I think Santa Claus is a woman.
he's a she. Think about it. Christmas is a big, organized,
I hate to be the one to defy sacred myth, but I believe warm, fuzzy, nurturing social deal, and I have a tough time believing a guy could possibly pull it all off!
For starters, the vast majority of men don't even think about selecting gifts until Christmas Eve. Once at the mall, they always seem surprised to find only Ronco products, socket wrench sets, and mood rings left on the shelves. On this count alone, I'm convinced Santa is a woman. Surely, if he were a man, everyone in the universe would wake up Christmas morning to find a rotating musical Chia Pet under the tree, still in the bag.
Another problem for a he-Santa would be getting there. First of all, there would be no reindeer because they would all be dead, gutted and strapped on to the rear bumper of the sleigh amid wide-eyed, desperate claims that buck season had been extended. Blitzen's rack would already be on the way to the taxidermist.
Even if the male Santa DID have reindeer, he'd still have transportation problems because he would inevitably get lost up there in the snow and clouds and then refuse to stop and ask for directions.
Other reasons why Santa can't possibly be a man:
- Men can't pack a bag.
- Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet.
- Men would feel their masculinity is threatened...having to be seen with all those elves.
- Men don't answer their mail.
- Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described even in jest as anything remotely resembling a "bowl-full of jelly."
- Men aren't interested in stockings unless somebody's wearing them.
- Having to do the Ho Ho Ho thing would seriously inhibit their ability to pick up women.
- Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.
2006-11-24 04:11:23 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
of course santas a women because i have never got what i asked for in my life by the way there is no santa this year got shot collecting letters in iraq blame bush on yhat 1
2006-11-24 04:33:12 · answer #1 · answered by oh_sh1te 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i see you points but i argue
would a woman
1 wear a red top and bottoms for fear of colour co ordination
2 be able to stay in the cold north pole all year without wearing 500 layers of clothing
3 dare to go down a chimney for fear of getting dirty
4 go near a reindeer
be able to control 1 reindeer let alone 6 or so
5 leave her facial hair that long without the magical word waxing unless they are italian
6 be able to carry all that wieght unless it is on her waistline
7 find her way aound the entire world when they cant drive to the shops without getting lost
8 actually hand over all them nice prezzies without being a ***** to the girl who stole her last boyfriend
the list continues lol
6
2006-11-24 04:50:03 · answer #2 · answered by ploppy pants 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but women rarely have beards, never do any heavy work, are scared to climb on roofs, and down chimneys in case their make up smudges and would need to stop the sledge for a toilet break every 15 minutes.....
The elves do all the packing and replying letters etc, so I would say you are misguided...strange though how many ronson products are on e bay from boxing day onwards
2006-11-24 04:22:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look he's a bloke get used to it and accept it, I mean would you expect a woman to be able to drive that far and fast? She would want to stop for the services to visit the loo maybe a have a drink and look around the shops. Santa just gets on with it and he hasn't let me down yet!!!
2006-11-24 04:17:50 · answer #4 · answered by Monkeyphil 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Santa is definately a woman in our house!
You list your reasons well, your points are funny, AND, believable. I am with you totally on this one, Merry Christmas!!!!
2006-11-24 04:23:00 · answer #5 · answered by Deborah H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
who is this santa am i missing something here red velvet, reindeer, elves whats that all about
2006-11-24 05:44:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
And if SANTA was a male that is why we say HOHOHO I'm sure us female wouldnt want to say HOHOHOHO but still a cute one
2006-11-24 04:25:19 · answer #7 · answered by Beth B 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
there does seem to be a lot of multi-tasking in volved too- so i will second you - santa claus is a woman!!
2006-11-24 04:18:21 · answer #8 · answered by jones_linz 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I certainly agree about the stockings! ;o)
2006-11-24 04:14:32 · answer #9 · answered by Musicol 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol thats true! since santa is a man, that explains why he doesnt exsist
2006-11-24 04:34:43 · answer #10 · answered by star42430 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋