would you love them both?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been together alomost 7 years on and off. We have two sons 5 and 8 months old. Then theres this other girl who he has a 2 year old daughter with. He says that what him and her had together was not the same as what we have and he doesnt love her or anything but he has cheated on me with this girl in the past quite a bit. There will be times like now when he isnt cheating on me but there have been times on and off when he did and I had no idea. Can a guy have a child with someone and not have feelings for her or love her? Do you think they will always mess around?

Answer 1

this is a really confusing situation to be in. since children are involved, you need to tell him to S**& or get off the pot. quite frankly, he is extremely shelfish at this point and he's having his cake and obviously eating it...guilt free. i think you need to be the strong one to say, this is it. we are totally over. you two can be friends but THATS IT. do yourself a favor because you're wasting your time. if he cheated once, he is clearly capible of doing it again. unless, of course, you like being in this type of situation. cut the romantic ties girl and move it on. if not for you, for the sake of the children. best of luck.

Answer 2

i think he will always cheat on you for the fact that he thinks thta he can get away with it and there will be no consequences. he probably doesn't love her, but he probably doesn't love you either if he's cheatind/cheated on you. he thinks of her more as a piece of @$$ because she doesn't respect herself enought to be like no you have a girlfriend. she's easy. and you he's just like when i come home i know she will be there. i think you should leave him and you will find someone much better who really does care aobut you. and i knwo how hard it is when you have chldren because i have a 7 month old daughter and i know how it is.

Answer 3

Yes. As a reverend, I've had to advise a lot of people in situations like yours. Lots of guys knock up girls and leave them. If a guy cheats, he will always cheat. Do what's best for your kids, remain civil to this guy, but don't try and pursue a relationship with him. I highly doubt this guy loves you or the other woman.

You have kids, it's time for you to stop acting like a love sick teenager.

Answer 4

Once a cheater - always a cheater. Yes, he will continue to "mess around" on you. You need to just tell him good bye and get out. He is a jerk. Don't believe him when he says he doesn't feel that way about her. He had a kid with her so she must have some special hold on his heart.

Answer 5

Mmkay, brutal honesty time ....

First of all, yes, he can have a child with someone and not love her. I have two children with my ex, and I do not love him.. at least not anymore. You don't need to be in love to be able to have sex, so the question of love really has little to do with it. Whether or not he continues to cheat on you with her could be nothing more than a fun activity for him, her being good in bed, or him just being bored of one partner. In the immortal words of Tina Turner, what's love got to do with it?

Now, aside from that .. what's wrong with you? Why do you allow yourself to be used by this person? Are you not in the least concerned with your own health? He could easily bring home disease. What about the example you're setting for your children by being with someone who doesn't respect you enough to remain faithful? Someday you're going to have to explain this to them, by the way.

This is the part I referred to when I said brutal honesty. A person who puts themself in this position loses all right to complain about it. If you want to be with someone who has cheated on your time and time again, and you know damn well that he'll do it again, then you forfeit all rights to complain, whine or pout. You're putting yourself in that position knowing the consequences.

I strongly suggest you work on your own self esteem, learn to not accept that type of treatment, and move on .. set a better example for your children, unless you want them living exactly the same way you do. How will you feel when one of them is grown and living with someone who cheats on them left and right? You'll have noone to blame but yourself, since you set that pattern for your children.

Answer 6

Yes, a guy can have a child with a woman and not have any feelings for her. I can't tell you if they will always mess around, that depends on him, and it seems that that's the case with this guy...

Answer 7

I think he will keep cheating. Find a man, not a boy. A man will have a commited relationship.

Answer 8

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Answer 9

yes a guy can have affair with many girls without feelings but this one was very unlucky .i dont think they always mess around but there is no guarantee that they never will .

Answer 10

OF COURSE A GUY COULD HAVE A CHILD WITH SOMEONE HE DOESN'T LOVE. IT HAPPENS EVERYDAY. HOWEVER, IF HE HAS REPEATEDLY CHEATED ON YOU WITH HER THERE IS PROBABLY SOMETHING THERE. FOR SOME REASON HE KEEPS GOING BACK TO HER. YOU SHOULD FIND SOMEONE WHO ONLY BELONGS TO YOU. YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE TO SHARE YOUR MATE. GOOD LUCK.