My son (30yrs) and his wife do not come over to visit any more and they don't want us at their house either. They have a little boy (our grandson) who is almost two year old now. We have not seen him since he was six months old. His wife does not visit or talk to us any more either. They are mad at us for various things(things we are not even aware of) Our son says they are mad at us and get even more mad because we do not understand why they are mad. Me and my wife have made repeated apologies and have tried to make things right. They seem to have no interest in getting back together. We write letters and send cards to try to stay in touch, but with no avail. Worst of all, we have a 13 yr old daughter still at home who misses her brother very much because he has no contact with her either. We pray for them every day and nothing changes. What should we do??
Miffed in the Midwest
2006-11-24 03:48:09 · 12 answers · asked by dbowles53 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You are doing all that you are able to at this time. Please keep up with the cards and letters. Let him know that you love them very much and miss the whole family.
My daughter did this to me for six years. Then one day earlier this year she just called me and asked me to come over. I didn't even know where she lived at that time since I was not allowed to have her address. We have gotten very close again, and this is the first Thanksgiving in six years that she is in my life.
I kept calling my daughter to let her know that I loved her, and sent cards to her dad's house since I didn't know her address. I never gave up. I suggest you do the same thing. Let your son and his family know that you will always be there when he wants to see you.
Good luck with this - sometimes it just takes a while.
2006-11-24 03:53:47 · answer #1 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand what your son is going through. It is even MORE hurtful when the parents say they have no clue to why you are mad. Make us feel like our feelings are not justified !!
You obviously DID something that you are either ignoring or just plain can't remember. Your son will need time. Parents say the damndest things and hurt their kids without even knowing it. If you are apologizing for something you don't recall doing then it will be viewed as an empty apology. THINK>>>think harder to find out what you did!!! It could be something as little as a family joke that went to far or talking behind someones back!
On the other hand, if my parents ask me what they have done wrong, I lay it all right out on the line!!! Your son should have the balls enough to tell you point blank what it is you did.
Print this out and send it to them... They can read it and realize that perhaps his numbskull parents really have no clue what they did... AND that his STUBBORNESS to not tell them right to their face is also hurting the family.
It may take years for this to ever become even a partly friendly family situation unless one of you make another move!
2006-11-24 05:55:02 · answer #2 · answered by Kitty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Miffed in the Midwest"? And yet you claim to be praying for them everyday? On top of that, let's just throw in the 13 yr old daughter into this mess to gain some sympathy. I have a feeling that you know exactly what went wrong and you are just upset that you aren't getting the response you THINK you deserve. I mean afterall you did apologize right?
You need to back off and leave them alone. Whatever you did, was severe enough for him to take such drastic measures, and if, in time, he decides to extend that olive branch, then, and only then, are things going to start to mend themselves. You can't force them to; and PLEASE do not drag his little sister into this mess. It's bad enough she's lost her brother because of you, and it's even worse that you use that to guilt him, but to continuing to do it, will only leave you with two children who want nothing to do with their parents, instead of just the one.
2006-11-24 04:20:19 · answer #3 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have shown remorse and repented for what ever atrocities you son has said you did so now it is up to him to forgive you for what ever things he thinks you have done. Actually he sounds like a nut if he can not ever tell you precisely what it is you have done to cause such a fuss. Write him an official letter and state items one by one, ask him why he is specifically mad, what cause this, what can be done, tell him his sister is hurt and misses him and can she at least call him .. Worse cast is he disses you and you go to court for some visitation rights so you can at least see your grandson. start to and make copies of everything you send them do not stop that, and record phone calls too. Good luck
2006-11-24 03:57:50 · answer #4 · answered by picture 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to ask them " what will it take to mend the broken fences" and follow through. Do not send cards and stuff as it appears you are trying to back door your way in, be up front and tell them you have a daughter who misses her brother, and you have a grandson , that you would love to see. maybe if they get to set the ground rules , it will work out
2006-11-24 03:55:50 · answer #5 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You're doing everything you can to make amends but your son and his wife refuse to budge and meet you half way. Leave them alone, they know where you stand on this and it's up to them to do something about it. They better be careful what they do, they have child seeing this and some day their own kid could do the same thing to them.
2006-11-24 05:00:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing they will come around. You are doing all you cando. You can not make someone communicate with you. Pray and give the situation to GOd he will fix it trust me. If you give up trying to fix it and surrender it to GOD to fix it will work out. Maybe not today or Next week but it will ifyou believe and keep faith.
2006-11-24 03:52:39 · answer #7 · answered by Im da Example 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You mentioned that you have no idea why they are upset with you. So, what are you apologizing for exactly? I think you need to think back and reflect. You know exactly what you did wrong. You just choose to play dumb. If your daughter wants to get in contact with her brother she can do so herself.
2006-11-24 04:53:27 · answer #8 · answered by gemone523 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should abide by their wishes... Or perhaps that is the problem... Did you get too involved in things??? Did you try interfering with them in their marriage or through the birth of their child???
They have asked you to stay your distance, so do it...
2006-11-24 03:53:05 · answer #9 · answered by Forlorn Hope 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my my my..so sorry to hear that..this is a very diffcult problem..I would continue to try to reach out to them..eventually they would give in..something must have happened to cause them to be this way towards you...unfortunately..only your son and his wife can answer your questions...
I wish you the best of luck....
2006-11-24 04:02:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋