what is the most funniest riddle/joke you've ever heard???

Answer 1

Three Blondes were all applying for the last available
position on the Texas Highway Patrol.

The detective conducting the interview looked at the three
of them and said, "So y'all want to be cops, huh?"

The blondes all nodded.

The detective got up, opened a file drawer and pulled out a
folder. Sitting back down, he opened it and pulled out a
picture, and said, "To be a detective, you have to be able
to detect. You must be able to notice things such as
distinguishing features and oddities, such as scars and so
forth." So saying, he stuck the photo in the face of the
first blonde and withdrew it after about two seconds.

"Now," he said, "did you notice any distinguishing features
about this man ?"

The first blonde immediately said, "Yes, I did. He has only one
eye!"

The detective shook his head and said, "Of course he has
only one eye in this picture! It's a profile of his face!

You're dismissed!"

The first blonde hung her head and walked out of the office.

The detective then turned to the second blonde, stuck the
photo in her face for two seconds, pulled it back and said,
"What about you? Notice anything unusual or outstanding
about this man?"

"Yes! He only has one ear!"

The detective put his head in his hands and exclaimed,
"Didn't you hear what I just told the other lady? This is a
profile of the man's face! Of course you can only see one
ear!! You're excused too!"

The second blonde sheepishly walked out of the office.

The detective turned his attention to the third and last
blonde and said, "This is probably a waste of time, but..."
He flashed the photo in her face for a couple of seconds and
withdrew it, saying, "All right, did you notice anything
distinguishing or unusual about this man?"

The blonde said, "I sure did. This man wears contact
lenses."

The detective frowned, took another look at the picture and
began looking at some of the papers in the folder.

He looked up at the blonde with a puzzled _expression and
said, "You're absolutely right! His bio says he wears
contacts! How in the world could you tell that by looking at
his picture?"

The blonde rolled her eyes and said, "Well, Helloooo! With
only one eye and one ear, he certainly can't wear glasses."

Answer 2

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead get stranded on a boat in the middle of the sea. The redhead jumps in and trys to go get help. She makes it 50 of the 100 miles then sinks because she is so exhausted. Then the brunnette does the same thing. Then the blonde trys. She makes it 50 miles and then gets tired, so she swims 50 miles back to the boat for a rest!

Answer 3

Here are the wierdest i've heard Alabama-- Putting salt on railroad tracks may be punishable by death. Alaska-- Moose may not have sex on sidewalks Arkansas-- It's illegal to mispronounce the word arkansas California-- Dogs and cats may not have sex without a permit Florida-- No one may have sexual relationships with porcupines Illinois -- It is against the law to make faces at dogs. Indiana -- It is illegal to make a monkey smoke a cigarette. Iowa -- Horses are forbidden to eat fire hydrants. Kansas -- At the intersection of Douglas and Broadway, a person in an automobile is required to get out of their vehicle, fire 3 shotgun rounds into the air, and the get back into their vehicle and proceed through the intersection. Kentucky -- By law, anyone who has been drinking is "sober" until he or she "cannot hold onto the ground." Louisiana -- It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol. Maine -- You may not step out of a plane in flight. Maryland -- It's illegal to take a lion to the movies. Massachusetts -- No one may take a bath without a prescription. Michigan -- There is a law that makes it legal for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens. Minnesota -- A person may not cross state lines with a duck atop their head. Mississippi -- It is unlawful to shave in the center of main street. Missouri -- Worrying squirrels is not tolerated.

Answer 4

Only works if spoken though..

You make up a story that seems like a maths challenge, like say "a train leaves at 8 o'clock, takes 30 minutes...." but at the very start quickly say a name of the person, like "Fred the train driver went to...". Then after a very long maths sum, at the end say "So what was the name of the train driver?"

Gets em every time!

Answer 5

A man walks into a talent agents office....

(If you don't get the reference, see my source below and you'll understand why I didn't finish the joke)

Answer 6

Q: Why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage?
A: Because they are tired of using their own

Answer 7

What does Geronimo say when he jumps out of a airplane?

Answer 8

#1 joke: There was a blonde.....


#2 joke: She was thanking.....


#2 joke: She was thanking seriously.....

Answer 9

knock knock
whos there
Cargo
cargo who?
cargo BEEP BEEP!

:]

Answer 10

knock knock

who's there?

doctor

doctor who?

yes