Parents: What would you do if you found out your child had been abused by a friend of the famly?

Answer 1

If I were in this situation and I KNEW one of my children had been abused, this is what I would do.
#1, confirm with the child the type of abuse and duration of abuse. Depending on the type and severity of the abuse -- report it to the authorities. If we are talking about any type of sexual abuse, immediately take the child to the ER and have the child evaluated for that. Doctors are mandated reporters and will inform the authorities immediately if they feel any type of abuse has occured. Same goes if the child was physically abused and requires medical attention.

#2 if the abuse was physical or mental in nature, but does not require medical attention and the incident is isolated and would most likely not happen again AND it would be emotionally hard on the child to press charges or prove it happended, I would probably not pursue the matter with the authorities. But, I would definitely confront the individual and let them know I am aware of what they did and that it is not acceptable. I would fully document the situation and make sure the individual knew I had the information and would be watching them not only around my child but others as well. If this individual was frequently around other children...I would have to report it. Also, if the incident was not isolated and the person (in my opinion) has tendencies to be abusive.....I would call the authorities. Abuse of any type is Never acceptable behavior.

The child will probably need counseling. Being abused is traumatising enough but when it is done by family or close friends of the family a special trust has been breached. As a parent of an abused child you might want to find a support group in your area to talk with as well. There could be special issues you will find you need to deal with and the information could be very helpful....Good luck with your situation...and remember it is not your fault.

Answer 2

The first thing I would do before anything else, it make very sure that it happened. Sometimes this is hard, but think of the consequences of false accusations and what it might do to your and their family. If you need help, contact a psychologist or child social services to help with information gathering.
Next, when I was sure, I would call the local Child Protective Services, make a report, and then immediately after, call the police.
Child abuse is no laughing matter. It injures children not only mentally, but physically, for the rest of their lives. On the flip side of the coin, being falsely accused of sex crimes is not funny either. With the modern views on this subject, a person's life could be completely ruined for no reason.
If it's true, use every resource available to ensure that the person never does it to anyone else again. But be extremely cautious in your initial approach to this.

Answer 3

If the incident just occured and I found out about it right away, I would charge the "friend" to the full extent of the law and ask that they be required, no matter where that person lives, that they register themselves with the police so that everyone in their neighbourhood knows theres a child molester living in the neighbourhood and I would also get a restraining order for my family so that person can never come near me or my family again, also I'd find a child and/or family psychologist for my child to make sure they can talk out the situation so they don't carry it with them. And after I got the bill for the psychiatrist I would then sue the offender for the reimbursement of the full cost of the psychiatrists fees if it wasn't already included in the offence charges.

Answer 4

I am not a parent but I can empathize. I have little cousins that I have cared over as though they were my kids and if I found such thing out, then all hell will break lose. I am a family loving guy and we are very close in my family. Family comes first so I would have to deal with whoever it was squarely. I can't tell you what I'd do because it's all just talks right now. Should such a thing happen, I'd be inclined to do a whole lot more damage.

Answer 5

you have to be carefull with this one , did you see the action with your own eyes ? or is there a whiteness ? can you prove it ? do you think this family friend is that type of person ? what are the implications ? has your child made these kind of accusations before ? and more ...... theres so many things you must think about before making any decisions with such a serious accusation , obviously the family friend will deny it so don't go to there , you must use all your powers of intelligence and gut instinctive feelings to help no matter what !!!!!
all the responses on this page i have read so far are all about violence and anger, you may get yourself into allot of trouble and unnecessary prison time if it is just a simple case of your child's way of expressing hate for this family friend who may be innocent , or if the friend is guilty is it worth leaving your child for years in prison ?...... i think not , so re-read what i have said here and don't make any decisions out of anger but be intelligent and look for the truth with all your powers of intelligence even if you have to tell lies to get the truth you can find it if it is there xxxx

Answer 6

If it was my child I would kill the perv. That is because I was molested as a child and it ruined my life. If you know it for a fact call the police. Please remember that a child does not make up abuse. And remember if someone did this they are not a friend, but an enemy who needs to be taken care of. What if your child isn't the only one they touched? Please do something now so your child doesn't suffure. This is very serious and we usually don't get over it as adults. Please-please-please get off the computer, call the police and get your child help. Not for your sake or anyone else but for your beautiful innocent child who is having his/her life ruined. Good luck and I will pray for you daily. God bless...

Answer 7

I had a scare like that once with my son... THe only thing I could do was contact the proper authorities(ie: DCFS) they have specialists that can question your child to make sure your child is not further tramatized. it's hard I know but it's better to know so you can get the help your child needs. I know the first things that comes to mind is kill the person, but your child needs you during this time.. so instead of jail be there for them.

Answer 8

Unfortunately, people who become a part of our lives by seducing our families and our children habitually do this. Before we know it, we are caught up with these "friends" and believe they would never hurt our loved ones. Our first priority as parents is to protect our children. I would report this person to the appropriate authorities and get help for my child ASAP. I would also be very cautious of others who try to incorporate themselves into my family in the future!

Answer 9

That person would definitely not be a "friend" any longer, and they would be truned into the police. I'd have a hard time convincing my husband not to kill the person, and let justice work itself out in the courtroom, but that is the only thing to do.

Answer 10

911