At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny, a child in the kindergarten class, seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying as though he were ill, and said. "Johnny what is the matter?" Little Johnny responded, "I have a pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife
2006-11-24 03:00:28 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. Edith Wharton
2006-11-24 03:38:45 · update #1
He he he... that's really funny and clean Sarah. We need more of those you know.
2006-11-24 03:51:17 · answer #1 · answered by DolphinLami 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
One day, Billie Graham was picked up at an airport by limo. As they were driving down the road Billy began complimenting the driver on the beautiful car, "Say, you think I could drive this thing for a while? I've never driven one." he asked.
"I don't see why not." said the driver, "Just be careful."
Billy Graham drove down the road but got caught up in the moment and was pulled over for speeding.
The officer radioed in that he didn't think he should issue a ticket on this traffic stop.
"why not?" said the dispatcher.
"I think this is a pretty important person." said the officer.
"Is it the mayor?"
"No, higher than that." the officer said.
"The Governor?" asked the dispatcher.
"No..."
"The President?"
"No" said the officer.
The dispatcher replied, " Then who in the world could it be then?"
To which the officer said,"I think it's Jesus, Billy Graham is driving him around."
I can have a good sense of humor about things...an atheist.
2006-11-24 11:26:29 · answer #2 · answered by Hellsdiner 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Jesus, Moses and an old man are golfing. It's Moses's turn and the ball goes in the water. So, he parts the water and hits the ball in the hole.
Jesus goes, and his ball goes in the water. So, he walks on the water and putts from there, scoring a hole.
The old man goes, and his ball heads for the water when a turtle pops up. The ball bounces off the shell into the air where it lands by some trees. A squirrl picks it up and is running up the tree to his home when an eagle swoops down and grabs him, ball and all. As it flies over the hole, the squirl dropps th ball and the old man gets a hole in one.
Moses and Jesus stare at the old man. Then Jesus says, "Stop showing off dad!"
2006-11-24 11:04:18 · answer #3 · answered by sister steph 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
A teacher asked her primary class to draw a picture from the nativity story. A little boy went up to her and proudly showed off his picture.
'This is Mary, Joseph, baby Jesus and a flea' he said
The teacher replied 'there isn't a flea in the nativity story, there's a donkey.
The little boy got upset and said 'but in the Bible it said that the angel told Joseph to take Mary and Jesus and flea into Egypt!!'
My 12 year old son has just been reading a book of jokes by Sid Little (the skinny one from 'Little & Large') and there are some brilliant jokes in there.
2006-11-24 15:54:49 · answer #4 · answered by Rakibear 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Night Prayers
Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents' house. At bedtime, the two boys kneeled down beside their beds to say their prayers. Suddenly, the youngest boy began praying at the top of his lungs, "I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE. I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO. I PRAY FOR A NEW BASKETBALL..."
His older brother leaned over, nudged his younger brother, and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf."
The little brother replied, "No, but Grandma is!"
2006-11-24 11:59:16 · answer #5 · answered by asake 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
<<<
Little Johnny's mother asked what he learned in his Sunday school lesson. "I learned that you should let me have a dog," little Johnny said. "Your Sunday school teacher told you that"? asked his bewildered mother. "No", replied Johnny, "but if Jesus can have 12 appossums, why can't I have 1 little dog"?
2006-11-24 11:27:02 · answer #6 · answered by lookn2cjc 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
LOL ROFL
There are loads - a baptist friend uses this one on me every time I got to a Christening
"you do it your way, we will do it John's"
If you have a good Christian bookshop in your area there will be books of them on the shelf. (Can't think of a good one at the moment but I got a book full of ones about ministers/priests that I lent to a friend.)
2006-11-24 11:05:07 · answer #7 · answered by Julie B 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Try www.poeticexpressions.co.uk There are many links to all sorts of things,but so far have not come accross any bad ones
2006-11-24 11:30:18 · answer #8 · answered by aitchy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first cars mentioned in the bible was when 'Moses burned up the desert in His triumph' and when 'the disciples were in one accord'
2006-11-24 13:36:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I just posted 1 & will post another! Check em out!
http://www.willyblues.com/
2006-11-24 12:05:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋