Hi. I am 22 and i have been with my partner for 7 years, we have lived together in rented property for 3 years and we recently bought our first house together.
I think his mum has a problem with me. She is so nice to my face but horrible behind my back. When we first started going out she used to comment on my hair, clothes or make up - i never let it get to me. She has said some horible things about me.
She has recently told all of her family that i have been in hospital having tests and they have discovered i cant have children......It is soooooooo not true, i havent even been in hospital....
When my partner confronted her she denied it all and said she only said i wont ever have kids as i am a career girl. She does it to my partners brothers girlfriends too. She says things like "my god how much weight have you put on, you look pregnant?"
What is her problem???? This is causing arguments between me and my partner too coz i hate her but its his mum.
2006-11-24 02:43:23 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
well you cant pick your mother in laws ...
just try and avoid all contact with her ...she maybe jealous that you have a career and she never had the choice ...sour grapes on her part
if she wants to spread stupid rumours bout you then let her...you know they aint true and so does your partner ...if anyone else belives her before asking you then they are as sad as she is
keep your head held high girl...xx
2006-11-24 03:16:47 · answer #1 · answered by cowgirl 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My mother-in-law did all these things and worse. When I was pregnant she told me to my face that she was praying that I died in childbirth and the baby too so that she could get her son back.
Just be polite and ignore her remarks. People get wise to these statements and realise that they are motivated by jealousy. Bear in mind that, thanks to her, you have a lovely man, so the genes can't be bad. Don't argue with your partner over her, you would give her an advantage.However awful, she is his mother, and he must be torn by his loyalties to you both.
I bet when you decide to have a family, she will be all over you like a rash. Next time she makes the remark about being pregnant, just say firmly "No, mother. I am not and we are in no financial position to have a baby at the moment. You can be sure that when I am you will be the first person we will inform". That should silence her.
2006-11-24 03:07:08 · answer #2 · answered by WISE OWL 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Is she italian? Sounds like an italian M-in-law to me. I'd say spend as little time around her as humanly possible. Ignore all of her bull**** and live your own life. You can't argue with the mentally ill. Remember the movie "Rain Man"? People think that because someone is more functional, they can't be that crazy and a conversation should help. It's not true. She will never change at her age.
2006-11-24 02:56:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
All mothers are very protective of their sons and they never think that any of the girls that their sons have are good enough. However you have to stand of for yourself and prove to her that you are not a push over and that you are not going to take her rubbish.
My now mother in law was the same way (although I'm admit that she never told a lie like that about me), she did however always expected me to agree with everything that she said (which I didn't) and because I didn't she'd talk about me behind my back. (But luckily now things are okay (touch wood)).
However the only way to deal with her is to ignore her and don't worry about her when you don't see her. But when you do be polite and nice and don't give her any reason/ cause to say anything bad about you. And if she does say something rude to you, try and come back with a witty remark, for example if she says something like 'haven't you put on weight' just say well if I have that's down to all wonderful cooking your son does and meals out your son takes me out to'. Try and twist her rude comments into something else and then always smile after you say it, because that will get to her more.
Also and this was the thing that was hard for me, don't say bad things about his mum to him because it will only start arguments and it doesn't look good on your part. Just try and avoid mentioning her. Talk about how bad she is to your family and your friends but not to your boyfriend. But one thing that you could do every now and again is ask him how she is, as by doing this it will start making him think that you like her and then if she starts making negative comments in front of him about you, then he will defend you and he will mention to her that you always ask after her.
2006-11-24 03:03:33 · answer #4 · answered by Baps . 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Remember one day your'll be a mother in law and then your'll understand a bit better! This might help you cope!
It sounds to me like she has a problem with being the centre of attention and the only way she can do that now her son's are settled is to take the limelight away from their distraction.
Just keep being you and eventually she will learn to accept you.
2006-11-24 02:53:48 · answer #5 · answered by twinkletoes 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you and the girls have a chat about Mom. Come up with a pat answer for her digs. Like, "Yeah, I get that a lot lately".....and walk away or "Well, that's between Son and me." and walk away or "That's not nice, Susan, you can do better than that."
And then all of you respond to her consistently. Leave the guys out of it. Just pick your response and use it every time.
When someone comes to you and informs you of her latest endeavor you guys can say, "Yeah, she tells everybody that." Like she's nuts or something.
2006-11-24 06:49:27 · answer #6 · answered by Sunbaby 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't go to things where she'll be at. Just enjoy your mate at other times. Otherwise you're going to make him feel he has to choose you or his mum.
She sounds like a real witch. You just take the high road, show her you're not weak. If you do cross paths, again just be kind and sincere. Eventually she'll see she can't win and is only making a bad name for herself. Then your partner will realize he's really found a winner in a mate.
2006-11-24 02:48:49 · answer #7 · answered by Joy_Brigade 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My monster in law was just the same just ignore her i know its difficult but just grin and bear it or else do what i did and say to your other half "I am not going to fall out with you but At the end of the day she is ur mother not mine i dont like the way she treats me and unless your mother is civil then i dont want to speak to her and thats it end of conversation". My monster in law soon got the hint and was civil and she hated it. Apart from that there is nothing much you can do about it
2006-11-24 03:03:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Some Mums find it difficult to cope with the idea that someone else has replaced her as number one in her son's affection.
Time alone will deal with (and heal) this.
It does not help that you call her Monster-in-Law. You need to adjust your attitude as much as she does. I presume that you do not call her that face to face, so your attitude, in effect, justifies hers.
It is, of course, much easier to see the flaws in others, but if you work on it without prejudice you can sort it out.
(I know from personal experience...my father in Law disagreed , on principal, with everything I was and did....but we ended up as best of buddies.
2006-11-24 03:49:04 · answer #9 · answered by alan h 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just know that is his mom, no matter what. Now if he was a man he would go sit her down and tell her that you are the woman he is going to be with for life and she needs to accept that, or it will cause problems with him and his mom not with you two. She may never accept you, but just try your hardest to ignore what she says. Good Luck
2006-11-24 02:57:11 · answer #10 · answered by Naughty Girl 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋