Need Help!!?

Question

I love my girl from the bottom of my heart. She betrayed me once and came back, I was still able to accept her. I accepted her whole heartedly but the after effects are still seen. I don't believe her fully anymore. I try to find if there is another meaning attached to anything and everything about her and this is creating heaps of problems to my relationship.

I hate she giving priority to everything surrounding her but me, asthough she hopes that I would understand. I get very cranky about small disappointments and start suspecting her...which pisses her off.

Neither can I accept the way she treats me nor am I in a positon to forget her. I am very sensitive and need some help....

Answer 1

Once the trust is gone, its gone.

Your in a feedback loop. You don't fully trust her, so you're suspicious. She sees that your suspicious and tries to distance herself from you. Which in turn, makes you more suspicious. So on and so on.

Your describing the symptoms, not the problem. The problem is that the trust has not come back. You don't trust her for her transgressions, and she doen't trust that you have forgiven her.

This is a self-destructive cycle. You either need to sit down and have a serious discussion about how to fix the problem, or go your seperate ways.

Staying in a relationship that's lost its trust will only bring more stress and negative emotion. At best, this is emotionally unhealthy.

~X~

Answer 2

You say you have accepted her, don't lie to yourself . You have never forgiven her. And if she treats you that bad why are you still with her? You do not have to forget her but I think you need to move on and see if it is really her that you want to spend time with. She did. I am 1 of the most sensitive prople in the world but I would not live my life with doubt. I have been there and done that and it is crap. It's not fair for either 1 of you. I'm not saying go out on her I am saying get a grip and find out what else is out there. If it is meant to be it will. Either you forgive her or it will never work, you are not only sensitive you are insecure.

Answer 3

HONESTLY IF YOU HAVEN'T SAT HER DOWN AND TALKED TO HER ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL YOU SHOULD COMMUNICATION IS ALWAYS THE KEY WHETHER YOU GET THE OUT COME YOU WANT OR NOT BECAUSE IT COULD GO ONE OF TWO WAYS SHE COULD EITHER, LISTEN AND UNDERSTAND AND START SHOWING SOME INITATIVE TOWARD FIXING IT OR YOU COULD LOOK UP AND THINGS ARE THE SAME. IF SO I'M SORRY TO SAY THAT MAYBE IT'S THE END FOR YOU TWO. LIKE FOR ONE YOU CAN'T GET OVER THIS SITUATION, WHICH IF SHE ACTUALY INVESTED TIME INTO YOU AND YOUR RELATIONSHIP YOU PROBABLY WOULDN'T DWELL ON IT BECAUSE THINGS WOULD BE SO GREAT BUT SINCE THAT MAY NOT BE THE CASE. IT MAY ALSO BE HER SUTTLE WAY OF GIVING YOU THE OUT OF THE RELATIONSHIP MAYBE IT'S RAN IT'S COURSE. ALL RELATIONSHIPS AREN'T MENT TO LAST. MOST OF THEM ARE MENT TO LIVE, LOVE AND GROW FROM YA KNOW. THIS MAY HAVE BEEN A LESSON IN WHAT YOU CAN AND CAN'T TOLORATE EVEN AFTER SHE HAS CHEATED OR ANY WOMAN FOR THAT MATTER. I REALLY THINK YOU SHOULD THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT OUT OF THE REALTIONSHIP FIRST AND MAKE SURE IT'S WHAT YOU REALLY WANT. EVEN THOUGH YOU MAY INDEAD LOVE HER YOU HAVE TO WEIGHT IT. DOES THE GOOD OUT WEIGHT THE BAD? ARE YOU SPENDING MORE TIME WONDERING WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOUR RELATIONSHIP AND MAKING EXCUSES FOR WHY IT ISN'T WANT YOU WANT THAN ACTUALLY HAVING THAT RELATIONSHIP? EVEN THOUGH YOU MAY LOVE HER THIS RELATIONSHIP MAY JUST BE OVER. AFTER YOU'VE THOUGHT ABOUT THIS. THEN HAVE A TALK WITH HER AND MAKE SURE IT'S HONEST IT MAY BE THE "I THINK WE NEED TO GO OUR SEPARET WAYS TALK" OR " HONEY I"M NOT HAPPY AND THIS IS WHAT WE NEED TO DO IT FIX IT" EITHER WAY IF AT THE END OF THE DAY YOUR NOT HAPPY END IT. IT'S EASIER TO BE SICK OVER THE BREAK UP FOR A FEW MONTHS AND THEN LOOK UP AND YOUR OVER IT THEN BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP AND BEING MISERABLE JUST KINDA WAITING FOR THE ENEVEITABLE AND THEN STILL HAVING TO DEAL WITH THE BREAK UP AND BEING SICK ABOUT IT. YOU KNOW WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO. MAKE SURE YOU CATER TO YOUR HAPPINESS AT THIS POINT. GOOD LUCK

Answer 4

if you dont have trust in a relationship then you dont have a true relationship.if you cant beleive everyting that is being said then you haven't gotten over what was done to you.you took her back so that means you forgive her and you have to move on and get over it.if you doubt things she says or does then you will never truly trust her. i'd say give each other some space. see how you feel after a week or two. you may realize that you dont want someone if you life that you cant trust, and that you want someone better that wouldnt' do that to you. no one said love was easy its just how you handle it that makes it easy.its not fun being in a relationship wondering and questioning everyitng thats being said. it takes too much work.its easy to just say ok hun i beleive you in what your saying.but do you really need or want to put your self through all that trouble, wondering and questioning everyting? ummmm

Answer 5

you have to do whatever is best for you, whether it ends in heartbreak. If your girl ever betrayed you, she might not be fuly committed to you and now that shes seen other options, she might be wanting to let go, but doesnt want to admit it straightforward, which might be why shes treating you like S***. If she doesnt appreciate you like you appreciate and love her, you might have to take a break or just break appart. In the end, you have to make the decision for yourself, however the end result may affect you. Hope this helped and GL!

Answer 6

shes really treated you wrongly. she needs to expect that you'll be feeling this way after all shes the one who betrayed your trust so if she gets pissed of then tell her that shes the one to blame. i know its difficult weve all been there. you may not agree with me but if i was in your position and my boyfriend betryed me id leave him, as much as i love him soo much i wouldnt be able to cope with these after effects your having eg not trusting him and wondering and over analysing all his actions. good luck and be strong

Answer 7

If you cant allow the person you are with to express their personality and be themselves ... u dont truly love them

Answer 8

If u love her, but she doesn't love u, just go on.

Answer 9

If you cant forgive her, than its time to end it. Sometimes it is harder to forgive. Don't blame yourself.

Answer 10

..wow dang man thats what exactly happen me.. well talk to her and ask her to change.. if she really loves you she would do it..