I almost hate myself for feeling this way, but my boyfriend of 3 years mother is SO ANNOYING. She moved 12 hours away from her home just to be 5 minutes away from us. It seems like every day she has some task for my boyfriend to do. She is perfectly healthy and capable, but acts like nothing can get done w/o his help. She stops by our home unannounced. She calls at all hours and refuses to get a life. Anything my boyfriend and I plan, she turns into a "we." I'm going mad! I've suggested to my boyfriend we move about 10 hours away to be rid of her ( well,i didn't tell him that) and he seems ok w/ it. I just need to know if I am doing the right thing, or will mama or worse my boyfriend the eternal mama's boy find a way for her to be in the middle of our lives all over again! There's nothing wrong w/ having a mom around. The problem arises when they don't understand their baby is grown and needs space!
2006-11-24 00:45:34 · 4 answers · asked by Nikki J 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If your boyfriend is not willing to do anything about his mother / THEN get rid of the boyfriend.
2006-11-24 01:03:56 · answer #1 · answered by tinkertop 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So what's to keep the woman from moving again?
No, stay put. Do any of your or your bf's friends have a single dad? Next time "we" becomes three, invite him along.....two couples, not a couple and his mom. Maybe you and your guy can slip out after dinner.
As far as the calling goes he needs to speak up. Mom, weekends we sleep in and rest up. We'll call you if we need anything. Please don't ring the phone. You can even say, Mom, son loves to sleep in and rest up on Saturdays....would you mind not ringing the phone? He really needs the quiet.
Unannounced visits...Hey, mom your timing is great!! I've got to leave in 5 minutes and you can have Son all to yourself!!
Have Son go over to Mom's on _____ day of the week. He needs to ask if she needs anything. Yes, he does it. No, no problem. If she calls in between let her know that he'll be there on ____day's and he'll take care of it then.
Invite her for dinner once a week. If she shows up unannounced look surprised and say, Is this the day we invited you?!! I thought it was Wednesday!!
Teach her how to chat on the computer. Just girl talk...look, mom, check this out....show her Yahoo answers...work your way up to the singles sites....have her do one "Just for fun." Do advise her that most of her contacts will be duds. Just keep your eyes open not to toss the good one.
She wants to be close to her son. She wants a relationship with you. She just moved away from everyone she knows. Now is the tough part. See if she won't go home sometimes and stay with Aunt Peg or Grandma Smith.
Help her get her behaviors under control now before the kids come along. She can develop into a wonderful family support or continue to be a nightmare. Brainstorm with your man. Be creative. Help her to find her place in your lives. Treat her with love and respect. She'll learn about boundaries. Teach her kindly and respectfully. Teach her.
2006-11-24 06:04:29 · answer #2 · answered by Sunbaby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is pointless moving away from this woman,she's already moved once to be near you.She may well do it again.This is a problem that only your husband can solve.He needs to sit her down and tell her to give you more space.He will have to use as much tact as possible because hurting her feelings may make her resentful.Or maybe allocate her a time slot once a week for your husband to deal with all these 'jobs' she keeps coming up with.When the going gets really tough,grit your teeth and remind yourself that without her existence you would never have your boyfriend!
2006-11-24 00:55:47 · answer #3 · answered by New Boots. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do no longer tell the mum. yet do tell your boyfriend below no uncertain words that his mom isn't shifting in. you will choose that 2nd mattress room for the toddler, and additionally you do no longer choose the strain of residing with yet another woman or a canines in case you're pregnant or have a newborn. era. If he insists on shifting her in, you're shifting out and so is the toddler. You get an equivalent vote to his in the dating, and if he's the guy you prefer, then he will abide via your needs and harm it gently to his mom. you mustn't ought to assert a element. And if he makes all of it your fault and would not gentle issues over together with her, then he's not the astonishing guy for you besides.
2016-10-17 11:40:15 · answer #4 · answered by leong 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋