will some one please help me. its been two months since my split. i still love him. we have spoken and he has made it clear its over. i dont want to seem despreate. - he thinks i am. my love is pur and genuine so were does desperate come from. anyways im doing well - atleast i thought i was... some days am good others am not. i think am going a little loco. my mental health is being effected. can someone please help and advise as appropriate?
2006-11-23 22:51:30 · 35 answers · asked by apple 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Time will help you heal, but you need to move on,..... and know that is easier said than done but if it is really been made clear that it's over then you need to stop thinking the possibility of 'maybe......'
your love may be pure and genuine but if it is not reciprocated then you'll be be living a lie.
if you think your going loco (Spanish for crazy for people who don't know what it means) .... it may be because you speaking to him makes your emotions resurface,..... if it upsets you that much then say if don't want to speak with you for a while......if at all.
everyone in this world deserves to find happiness and I'm sure that there is a fantastic man waiting further down your life's road that'll make you incredibly happy and love you unconditionally for ever more....
good luck
2006-11-23 23:01:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, move on he has made it plain and clear it is over. I don't know how long you have been with him but sometimes a split is like a death and you mourn it . It will get easier as time passes and you will have your good days and bad days, that in normal. Try to keep busy and talk to your friends but the only thing that will help is time. There will be someone out there that will LOVE YOU just as you are. Just remember things happen for a reason and you will come out of this as a stronger person. Be brave and patient for now, you are worth loving and you will be loved again. Hope i helped !! Think positive!!
2006-11-23 23:04:42 · answer #2 · answered by angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no appropriate way to handle a tough break-up. But as you see from your responses, many of us have experienced one and are still around to talk about it today. It is true, "Time will heal all wounds". But that is the key.....TIME!
Find something to do that is not your regular cup of tea. I picked up gardening while on the mend. My friends thought I was crazy to see me working daily on my new project. It ended up being very therapeutic. Just try something that is new and constructive.
I must disagree with the other answers that are telling you to go get drunk and forget him. I did that after two months of being a hermit and the only thing that got me was a DUI!! That only added insult to the injury. Plus alcohol is a depressant and you definitely don't need that at this moment.
2006-11-24 00:06:15 · answer #3 · answered by stacey h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear Apple,
You are grieving a loss. This is normal AND healthy. People grieve differently. In order for us to get to the other side of the pain we MUST go through it. In this way we deal with it completely and at some point are able to put the pain behind us and move on in our lives. This is a typical pattern for grieveing if there is one:
1. Denial.
2. Acknowledgement.
3. Pain, saddness.
4. Growing anger.
5. Diminshing anger.
6. Resolution, peacefullness, renewed happiness.
Hang in there Apple, at some point you will be able to look back on this experience and have some lessons that you learned from it. The pain actually ends up making us better people because of what we learn from it.
Good luck.
2006-11-23 23:08:26 · answer #4 · answered by Bullwinkle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter how much you love him is he doesn't feel the same there is nothing you can do. I think that it is worse for you to still be in contact with him. I know it's hard because you are use to talking to him but try and cut all contact. Delete his numbers from your phone so that you can't be tempted and is you feel down call a friend. If you are feeling a bit low a herbal remedy St Johns Wort is good to boost your mood. Try and keep youself busy but don't drink too much that will only make you feel worse!
2006-11-23 23:21:48 · answer #5 · answered by roisindu2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel really bad for you. My god there is no such pain as heartache! Difficult but highly effective: move on and rebuild your life without him. Build up your friends, get in touch with people you have lost contact with. And go and (try) to have some fun. Chances are, this will attract him back to you. Men love the chase. But then you have to think long and hard if you want a guy who purely wants what he cant have.
If he doesnt come back, then you have a life, and people around you that care. I hope it gets easier for you genuinly.
The very best of luck xxx
2006-11-23 23:00:05 · answer #6 · answered by Lolly 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Know exactly what you are saying. It is hard.....but what you have to do is tell yourself that there are others out there......not for now.....butwhy not go outwith friends re discover their value in your life. Find a new interest. If you really feel your mental health is an issue seek councelling there is no shame in this and it may help. The biggest thing is time.......and time will work....he is gone a spent force but you are still a valuable person just remember that.
2006-11-23 22:55:53 · answer #7 · answered by eagledreams 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm afraid that one persons love, no matter how pure and faithful does not cover two people.
It's an awful experience and not to be patronizing but everyone goes through it, some people more than once. You are worth far more to someone else out there than the worthlessness this guy places upon you. Stand strong, don't cry, keep yourself busy and eventually you will find someone better, stronger and more in love with you than ever!
2006-11-23 23:00:33 · answer #8 · answered by jessieket04 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Rejection is the hardest thing in the world to deal with!! So is lonliness! If you feel rejected and lonely wouldn't that naturally equal desperation? I think so. Don't be too hard on yourself! Take ONE step at a time. But first, go to your bathroom mirror. Go ahead. Look in that mirror. What do you see? You see a beautiful person who is capable of a loving relationship. You are intelligent and sensitive and believe me there are guys who are looking for this type of person. Now. Smile at that person who is looking back at you in the mirror. Smiling, even if you don't feel like it will make you happier. Go treat yourself and have a little fun--TODAY!
2006-11-24 00:40:34 · answer #9 · answered by butterflylover 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can understand what is happening to u, the same happened to me 18 months ago. I dont love him any more cos i can see now the relationship had no future but a small part of me still fancies him and wants to get back with him. Time does make it easier but it will never leave u. I had to take anti depressants at the time i was so hurt
2006-11-23 23:06:18 · answer #10 · answered by rachel d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋