My husband told me that the reason why he is carrying my daughter with him on holiday is because He thinks I do not have the initiative to take care of her when he is gone and does not know what I am going to do because I am pregnant again.All of his female friends and relatives including his mom are single mothers and he seems to be comparing me to them and what they have to do to get things together. I also work full time.
I was absolutely torn when he said this.
Am I being a bad mother if he decides that his financial status is more important than his family and I choose not to do things that my father sorted when I was young e.gDIY and helping with chores when mom was pregnant or ill
P.S I had to tell him that he was treating our son like his father treated him before he could actually spend time with our kids
2006-11-23 22:42:37 · 12 answers · asked by JUSEve 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am not trying to get off by being pregnant but being pregnant does have its physical limitations.But he seems to think that carrying a baby is like carrying a feather light balloon and I'm supposed to go about things as I would when I am not pregnant
2006-11-23 23:05:37 · update #1
Have I got this right?
You are married to this man....you have one child and another on they way...You work full time... yet HE is going on holiday...WITHOUT YOU?
WHY?
Are you saying that the husband doesn't WANT to take you on holiday? If so... he's an idiot and I'd get rid of him-
I'm not sure I understand the bit about the financial status. Of course a husband who has a family should be concerned that he can provide enough financially so that his family can live, but unfortunatley some men see their role as a provider only and think that if they are providing financially then the wife has to do everything else and the family life suffers. He must try to get more of a balance, but he's not going to get this by leaving you at home while he goes away with his child leaving you alone.
Sorry honey, if your husband has such little regard for you and your feelings, then he simply doesn't deserve you and I say this because I have no idea why a married man with a pregnant wife would go away on a jolly holiday and leave her to get on with it!
He is being very selfish!
His place should be at home with you and your child or else you ALL go on holiday together
He should be treating you like a princess- you are pregant with another of his children and you deserve his respect- It wouldn't do him any harm to give you a little TLC either.
Ok, you are pregnant, you are not ill, and it shouldn't prevent you from doing your everyday chores within reason, but whats the problem???? Is he expecting you do dig up the garden or do building work in the home? If so, then he is being very unreasonable.
That said, I do think that it's important for you to take pride in your home, but how about he helps you and doesn't expect you to do everything yourself?
What are you to him? A baby-making, housewife who's place is only in the kitchen after she's worked all day too?!
He's living in the dark ages honey! You deserve better and if I were you, I'd be telling him he needs to buck up his ideas or he is minus a family!
Good luck!
2006-11-23 23:05:12 · answer #1 · answered by LadyTraveller 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been there. It sucks. From what you say though, it sounds like he is genuinely interested in you and is just super busy/tired. I would just carry on like normal, and see what happens in a week after he is done with his first job. I'm sure once he is adjusted that things will get better.
2016-03-29 07:24:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you do all the parenting when there are two of you?
Some things you do because you have to and some things you do because you want to.
Your husband's friends probably had no choice and their children may be worse off than yours anyway!
You are more than capable but that doesnt mean its all up to you!
2006-11-23 22:47:33 · answer #3 · answered by girl from oz 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I used to be a single mum. The only difference I can find now I'm married, is that I've ended up with a big over-grown kid too. It sounds from what you've put in your question, that you have as well. He needs to grow up!
2006-11-24 00:03:57 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
u r not a bad mom. im sure ur kids love u very much and im sure all his relatives that r single would love to b in a relationship. dont let him put u down
2006-11-23 22:47:23 · answer #5 · answered by addicted to this 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he doesn't respect you very much. I would say take the kids to someone to watch them and sit down and tell him exactly what you are feeling. communication and honesty are key to making a relationship work.
2006-11-23 23:17:49 · answer #6 · answered by 32nkikin 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
when i was a single mom i had to do everything, but now i have my husband to help out. it makes it nice. being married BOTH parties should do their part. just because your pregnant doesn't let you off the hook.
2006-11-23 22:48:49 · answer #7 · answered by princessnannon 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
he sounds like an idiot , no harm to him. when you're pregnant your exactly that not ill. you have a full time job and are expecting what i take it is your third child, you're an inspiration. at least you're not jus sitting back on benefits, would he prefer that ??
2006-11-23 22:51:34 · answer #8 · answered by Caz 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Destiny and karma plays a vital role in our lives
2006-11-23 22:47:05 · answer #9 · answered by your noon 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think hes wrong ... you should speak up you have every right to take care of your child. just because your pregnant doesnt mean your not capable!!!
2006-11-23 22:45:38 · answer #10 · answered by vikki b 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋