I have been with him for about two years now, and it took a while, but i have developed a very strong bond with his 4 year old. Im scared she will get to an age where i will hear the old 'your not my mum, dont tell me what to do'. I dont want to be her mum, just her friend. how do i maintain the great relationship i have with her into her later rebellious years?
2006-11-23 22:24:48 · 14 answers · asked by Lolly 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
My advice (after a hell of a lot of experience!) is NEVER EVER slag her mother off! Whatever your partner may think about her, keep it from the child, it just messes with a childs head.
Another thing, always try and be there for her whatever happens. You should be the one she can turn to when she gets her heart broken, or does something stupid or gets into trouble.
Try not to shout, just advise. And never try and take the place of her mother. Good luck.
2006-11-23 22:54:43 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You may hear that someday, but it will be out of anger and you need to know that it is not true. Children, even your own, will say things that can really hurt. You may not find out until years later how much you really mean to her but if you stay the course it will pay off. What may someday come between you and her is if you and your partner have another child, then you'll have to work hard at letting her know you care just as much for her.
2006-11-23 22:32:07 · answer #2 · answered by Clrinsight 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you have to remember you'll never be her true mother. children go through stages like this all the time. when the learn and understand who you really are to them they will always love you dearly but might use "your not my mum" etc to hurt you or fight back with in a disagreement with some thing and they couldn't get there own way. but never get angry at that comment as they never really mean it, as they don't understand what they are saying. just give her plenty of TLC because that's what she wants a close friend/ mother type.
2006-11-23 23:20:11 · answer #3 · answered by dragontears 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that all you can do is be a Friend to the girl, of course she is going to turn round to you at some point and say your not her mum and don't tell me what to do you just have to remind you self that she will probably tell her mum that she hates her and wish that you were her real mum, and she will say all sorts of different things to try and hurt you, her mum and her dad. just remember that all teens go through that faze and that as long as you are there for her you will all come through the other side of things and laugh about them
2006-11-23 22:34:38 · answer #4 · answered by tone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its hard to be a friend when you are daddys girlfriend, especially in the rebellion years.
As a "stepmum" myself, you have to prepare for that phrase "your not my mum". It hurts, especially as I have been there to watch them grow from a little 6 to a young adult of 13. There is not much you can do but try to think back to when you were young. You didn't mean everything you said did you?
2006-11-23 22:28:37 · answer #5 · answered by Liggy Lee 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow this would be an exceptionally complicated decision, i think of the little female desires some medical care of a few variety.....Im no longer asserting medical doctors fairly. At 6 shes no longer stupid. Does she have the different family individuals like grandparents/ aunties etc that would take her now and back. consistent with hazard they might merely spend one on one time along with her, build a r/deliver......perchance ask why she treats her siblings the way she does etc. consistent with hazard she would open as much as this different family individuals member. Does she have a instructor she respects who would have this chat along with her? i think of you definately could come across this until eventually now pondering making including extensive decision as no rely if to maintain the family individuals jointly! superb of luck!
2016-10-04 07:46:13 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be patient. You need to be more understanding and loving even though you got negative responses. Because time will come, when she's in great need, she will not hesitate to approach you. And that will be the new beginning for your happy relationship. ALso, don't forget to pray for her. Everything will be ok IN GOD'S TIME.
2006-11-23 22:54:57 · answer #7 · answered by Mutya P 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
teenagers disown their parents too so you wont be alone youll now she respects you when she comes running when she needs you.as with any other parent just got to take it on the chin. she'll probably be telling her birth mum shes not like a proper mum & your like a real mum to her at the same time shes dissing you to your face
2006-11-23 22:31:24 · answer #8 · answered by nendlin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
real moms even hear dont tell me what to do and shut up and all that stuff so when she gets there just tell her you love her and wanna be there for her.it would help if you started now just you and her go out 1 day a week.
2006-11-23 22:28:46 · answer #9 · answered by spring l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs a mother. Most kids hate a step mother, because she treats them badly. I had a step mother I hated, and one I respected. One was a witch, one was a nice lady. I was there. I know about this.
2006-11-23 22:27:36 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋