Well, I had the appointment booked and was so sure I could go through with it, the only thing that stopped me was that I couldnt lie to my husband about it. So now I'm preparing for another bubby, this baby due is June will make my 2 children 11 months apart, pretty close and Im worried about how I will cope, any suggestions? or tips on having 2 babies so close in age???
2006-11-23 20:50:40 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Well you at least have the basic parenting skills (you already have one) just remember to spend as much time with each because one will feel they are less loved which we all know won't be true so just love them and treat them equally and send them in to school one in say 2009 and the other in 2010 then the competitiveness (or down-right rivalryness) between them given one is essentially 1 year older (1 month off) (If you are wondering how I would know my brother and his wife had a baby girl who was born around the right time then 7 months later they delivered a premature baby {lucky to ba alive, but healthy now} they are going to go to school at different stages because we all know they will figure out the whole big brother/sister thing)
And this maybe cliche but congratulations
2006-11-23 21:07:12 · answer #1 · answered by whay i lost my ?s 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations, this is a wonderful thing, a baby choses you and so Im glad you didn't go through with the abortion as you would have regreted it the rest of your life. Having two children so close in age will be a handful but it will also only be hard for the first few years. I suggest you join a support group in your area with other mum's this will give you some time out, with the kids able to play with others there age and you have some other adult time, without having your children away from you.
Having children close together or even a few years apart will be hard, your children will grow together an everything your little one knows will teach your new baby. I have found it difficult with my 2 as my son is a terror with 2 years experance on his sister, she copies everything he does so it may be easier having them the same age as you can teach the older one more in looking after the baby and by 1 the older one will not have reached terror age yet, be patiant and positive and make sure you have some support, everything will turn out for the best. Support is the main thing as any mother that is full time with more then one child can go mad very easily so give yourself a routine so everything runs smoothly and stick to it it will make your life much easier.
Be positive it will be fine and get some support, family is good but sometimes its better to have support that are going through the same thing you are that aren't judgemental. Best of luck. Be happy you have been given another gift of life, but also be careful after the next birth to not have 3 under 3 that would drive you crazy. Good luck.
2006-11-24 06:24:31 · answer #2 · answered by mj_missi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All you can do is take it day by day and do the best you can do. My mom had me and my sister 17 months apart and she said it was really hard cause there we both were still both sucking bottles and in diapers.
She said having us so close in age was harder than having my other siblings 3-5 years apart.
Good luck on becoming a mother once again. Did you talk to your husband about this at all? Does he know?
Well if i knew it was too soon for another baby and if I did not want to have it i could go through with it without anyone knowing because it is my body and i would be the one going through the pain of having another baby and would be the main one in taking care of both babies.
It is up to you. You made that appoinment with knowing that it would be hard or in the back of your mind really you don't want to have another one. I would do what is best for YOU NOT HIM.. I am not trying to talk you into going to a clinic or anything like that i am just saying you wanted to but then didn't because he didn't know.
Be for sure cause you don't want to wait until you get so far along into your pregnancy when abortion would be so much more higher.
Good luck
2006-11-24 09:44:10 · answer #3 · answered by ஐ♥Julian'sMommy♥ஐ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This creates alot of friction.
Some families that didn't think their child situation was going to be good put one up for adoption to someone nearby. The children grow up knowing they are related but also that their parents that things was the best way they could all be provided for in every demand more equally. I know a couple that are approaching middle age and they say at times they were jealous of each other because one had more money and the other had their biological parents but at the same time those were the things that always snapped them out of jealousy.
Your children are going to fight for everything to have at the same time for everything (man that is confuseing),.. this will hold them both back and make them both a little delayed in the war to be " The BABY". The thing that tends to prevent this is makeing them, even if they are not the same gender, do things together like twins and sleep on bunk beds in the same room and force them to be older and older... it is mean and the out come of those is some very screwed up people so I wouldn't suggest going that route. I mean I know a couple that were either 11 or 13 MONTHS [I typed years, sorry] apart, not the same gender, and one has already killed people,.. the other is serveing time >.< I really did not like them when I was little.
So it's incredibly hard to find a good balance in this situation.
You probably were thinking more like balanceing feeding time,.. but emotionally this creates problems that stick around for life for both children.
2006-11-24 05:07:10 · answer #4 · answered by sailortinkitty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly what you are going through. My 5th child was born 21st Sept 06 and my fourth child 5th Sept 05 they are just over 12 months apart. My husband wanted me to have an abortion but there was no way I could go through with it. I thought I would just have to cope. My other children are 2 to 3 years apart and all through my last pregnancy I thought I would not be able to cope but I have found its not as hard as I thought as it would be. I was actually worried sick the closer it came to the birth of my son. They both have an afternoon sleep at the same time so it gives me time to spend with my 3 and a half year old. My youngest is now nine weeks old and every day seems to get a little easier. You have to take it just one day at a time and before you know it the younger one will be sleeping through the night and the days will seem more manageable. Also if your friends or family offer to help ACCEPT IT. I wish you good luck through your pregnancy and enjoy this time with your first born.
2006-11-24 06:48:06 · answer #5 · answered by Mel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you are a very brave woman try and ignore any negativity you get in regards to considering an abortion, no-one can have any idea what your situation is like unless they are living in it.
No-one can pretend it is going to be easy having 2 kids so close together but it is manageable. My aunt has 2 girls 13 months apart and when I asked her before answering your question these were her tips.
1. Build yourself a strong support network with your friends and family (and husband)
2. Don't be afraid to ask for help, both now and when the baby is born, I remember how tired I was when I was pregnant, dealing with that and a baby will be exhausting so let people help you, take up offers of babysitting, let your hubby or mum or even mum in law help with the cooking and even the cleaning, especially when the baby comes. asking for help isn't failing it's being smart
3. Remember that grandmothers are worth their weight in gold :)
4. Take some me time every now and again even if it's just to have a nice bath.
5. Have family and friends donate a nice meal that can be frozen close your delivery time.
On another note the book minus nine to one by Jools Oliver would be good to read right now, I read it during my pregnancy and found it fun and insightful but it would be really good for you as she was in the exact same position as you with 2 kids 12 months apart.
If you ever need someone to talk to, please feel free to e-mail or im me.
2006-11-24 05:36:53 · answer #6 · answered by eireschilde 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
my two are 23 months apart...theres a huge difference between that and 11 months.....the only recommendations i can give you is that you try to get them to have their morning and afternoon sleeps together so that you will have some time for yourself even if its just to rest....you will cope just fine.....and to focus more on the postives like they we be close in age so therefore have the same interests as they are growing, they will probably be the best of friends and once the little one is a year old they will entertain each other......and at the end of the day...just think about your bubs now....bubs is only probably about 2-3months how fast has that time gone.....its a difficult stage but in the next 9 months things will get easier day by day....just remember that within a couple of years...(which to me is a small sacrifice) you will have a wonderful family and the best of both worlds back.....
2006-11-24 04:58:11 · answer #7 · answered by askaway 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't have kids so i can't give you advice, but i can say as somoene who has a sibling very close in age, that it will be a great thing for your child. They will have so much in common, and have the potential to be closer than siblings far apart in age ever can be.
2006-11-24 05:00:01 · answer #8 · answered by perpetual_filth 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm very pro-choice, but when I discovered I was preggie I couldn't do it either. I suggest taking it easy.. low stress during the pregnancy.... and my number one suggestion is to NOT TRY TO BE SUPERMOM!!! Ask for help when you need it! You do not have to do it all yourself. So many mothers overwhelm themselves into a breakdown.
2006-11-24 05:32:50 · answer #9 · answered by MellieDazzle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it will make it easier when your oldest gets to walking and just include the oldest in with the younger one you should be able to potty train them both at the same time... even through the almost year age gap .
But I suggest don't potty train till your oldest is 3years of age
2006-11-24 05:00:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋