Broke up with partner who was excellent with my son however he is not his father and my son has regular contact with his real dad. My son is 8, Do I just move on from this and close him out or do I assist in maintaining a relationship between them both?
Please help
Savina x
2006-11-23 20:34:29 · 15 answers · asked by savina e 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
If your son would like to continue seeing him, and you are sure that your ex will remain in regular contact, then there is no harm in maintaining a relationship between the two of them. If he is likely to drop out when he meets someone new or cause friction if you meet anyone else in the future then maybe it would not be so wise.
Perhaps if you ask your ex to keep telephone contact, see how that goes and if they want to have days out, then try it. Your son is almost old enough to keep contact without your assistance and intervention anyway.
Beware of either you or your ex using it as an excuse to see one another though- if the relationship has no future, then keep your distance and don't get involved yourself.
2006-11-23 20:46:03 · answer #1 · answered by annie 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Never try to put the child in the middle. You will only be hurting your child. It does seem that maybe he has a drinking problem so a supervised visit would be plenty. It can be a grandparent or another adult that you trust that can take the child to him for a short visit. That way you don't have to see him and your son still will see his father. Whether the father is a good one or a bad one the child only knows him as his father and that is all that matters. Don't be selffish.
2016-05-22 21:54:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mom's ex-husband was not my dad, but I still see him every chance I get and he even considers himself my son's grandpa. They got together when I was 8, and split when I was 14 (I'm 29 now). I have always had contact with my dad, but this guy was like my dad too. I agree that you should talk to your son, and get his opinion. If he feels that he wants to continue seeing your ex, then I think you should let him. A child can never have too many people that love them in their lives!
2006-11-23 20:40:16 · answer #3 · answered by doodlebugg 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The way i see it your son knows who his dad is and knows that your ex is not just a replacement. Im not saying let him come round every day but ask your son what he wants and go from there
2006-11-23 21:49:28 · answer #4 · answered by Suzie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on the bond that they have formed. If there is a bond, and the ex is willing to spend a few hours a week your son, I say "go for it." Even if its temporary so your son can be eased out of the relationship. You are lucky that your ex is willing to do this.
2006-11-23 21:11:20 · answer #5 · answered by eightieschic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A bit tricky. Consider the fact that if you allow your son to maintain a relationship with your ex, he may resent any new partner you may find yourself with. Maybe it'd be best to close that door.
2006-11-23 20:42:07 · answer #6 · answered by Carinna C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you were with this fella for more than 3 years and your son likes him if you can see your son likes him dont stop them seeing each other i have a son the same age and my boyfriend is not his father but i would not stop him from seeing him cause he really loves him my son calls him dad let them see each other and get on with your life
2006-11-23 22:18:06 · answer #7 · answered by paris 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An 8 yr old can understand this was a nice guy but moms not going to date him anymore ,so we will not see much of him anymore. No, I do not think this guy should see him without you there, if you remain friends meet at the park or mall, if he not in your life he should not be in your child's.
2006-11-23 21:39:47 · answer #8 · answered by livlafluv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that depends on how attached to him the boy is. You can't expect your son to see things the way you do. As long as this man is good for him and he wants to see him he should be allowed to within reason.
2006-11-23 20:38:02 · answer #9 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If they were close it would be cruel to cut off communication. The more friends the better, if they both want the contact.
2006-11-23 21:04:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋