Transgender Dilemma?

Question

I am a happily married, completly passable, post-operative transsexual. I recently have had gay/lesbian friends ask me to go to a LGB themed event, that is being taped/televised. I live in stealth, and don't want to risk having my husband, whos a well respected and prominent figure in my community, outed as having a transsexual wife. How can I relate this to my colleagues without hurting their feelings or offending them?

Answer 1

Just tell them exactly what u wrote

Answer 2

How long do you both think that you can live this way and be happy doing it. That is why it is so much better to live in the light than to hide in the darkness. This is your life, this is your husbands life and you both deserve to live happily together. You both need to sit down and talk to one another about whether or not you should come completely out of the closet to your colleagues and your husband out to the public. Believe me if you continue to try to conceal this from both parties, someone eventually will find out. And wouldn't it be much better if it came from either you or your husband than from a stranger? Go to a PFLAG meeting in your neighborhood and talk to them about it and see what kind of response you get from them. Both you and your husband. Sure you will find accepting and loving company at a PFLAG meeting but it may be the boost you need to then tell your colleagues and find out some alternatives on how to approach this. Good Luck to you and your husband.

Answer 3

Gender identity and sexual orientation are two seperate issues. People who transition are not doing so because they were mistreated as a gay/lesbian person. Many trans people also lived very normal and healthy lives with good families before they decided to transition as well. The fact is that transsexuals have a complete mismatch between their birth sex and the gender their brain is. It is completely beyond their control and the only way they will feel at peace with themselves is if they do transition. FYI, many trans people lived their lives as heterosexuals, particularly with MTF's, before they transitioned and even had families of their own. Also, tranistioning doesn't necessarily change the sex a trans person is attracted to. Transsexual people, while their orientation is based off their gender identity, can be straight, gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual or asexual just like anybody else. Gay men are happy with being men and are sexually attracted to other men. Ditto with lesbians.

Answer 4

You can go. Just identify yourself as a woman, not a transgendered person. That's not a lie: you are, after all, a woman. You were just born male. But it's no one's business to know that! You can show support for gay and transgendered people, but who and what you are is nobody's business.

Answer 5

Dude, you're totally not a woman. I wish for one second you would reflect upon your life and realize how silly your little self-identification struggle has been, and how you've completely massacred your body in its pursuit.
I'm not a fundamentalist, I'm not even Christian--I'm Taoist. Even still, I don't think that nature makes mistakes--there's no such thing as a woman's soul or a man's soul--your pursuit to change your gender is indicative of severe psychological distress.

Answer 6

You could explain the situation that you are in, or make plans with your husband that way you can use it as an excuse and back it up.

Answer 7

what you just wrote sounds good to me, being a transsexual myself i understand as i'm sure your friends will.

Answer 8

Be Honest...

"I don't want to go." might work. "Heeeeeeeeell no!!" might be another.

If they really are your friends, they will understand... unless you're keeping them in the dark too. But then, what kind of friend are you?

Answer 9

Tell them what you just told everyone on the internet.

Answer 10

I have always maintained that the truth is the best answer.