Is this a case of "wanting what you can't have, and when you get it, you don't want it?"?

Question

After dating my boyfriend for about six months (we got together to be only f**k buddies),he informed me that he wanted more, to date exclusively (when we were f.b.'s he told me not to go there cause he 'd hurt me, he didn't want a relationship. I was fine with that, I'd been divorced about 2 years and was not looking for a serious relationship either) and I liked him so I gave it a shot. Not long after he started asking me to marry him, he drove me to distraction! He even went so far as to buy me a ring, come to my work, started to get on bended knee.....I said "no" only because I'd been married twice before and he never had. Also we hadn't known each other very long. About 3 years, when we were still together I said "Yes", and he never brought it up again. Were still together, almost 10 years, so what's up? HELP

Answer 1

IF A MAN WANTS YOU

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.

If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.

Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

Stop trying to change = yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.

Slower is better.

Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.

Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.

Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. They don't respect women or children. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, Why would he treat you any differently?

Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.

If something bothers you, speak up.

Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.

Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

Never let a man define who you are.

Never borrow someone else's man.

Oh Lord! If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.

A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

All men are NOT dogs.

You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street.

You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship

You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.

Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr.. Right.

Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.

Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.

Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Answer 2

The 'Candle' makes a great case for Sarah. I followed her some before she was picked by McCain and she was more independent than 'republican'. At this point, the only one I "want" to run is Jim DeMint. If Palin got the nomination I'd vote for her and I think she'd surprise a lot of folks who've swallowed the left/media's propaganda. The only thing she's done I didn't like was quitting as Governor. I still don't understand that one. That said, she'd be a huge improvement over the #%&@#$% we've suffered through lately.

Answer 3

If you've been with him for almost ten years and he hasnt brought up the issue of marriage again, then my guess is he never will. He never wanted to marry you in the first place, he only proposed to you so that he can keep you on the lock down. He proposed to you because he could not stand the thought of seeing you sleep with someone else, that might bring down his self esteem. So he proposed to you so that you not even think about sleeping with other guys, and you will only focus on him. Guys buy ring all the time and propose to female they never intend to marry. I have 4 brothers and i know how it works. Either you dump him and move on with your life, or just keep sleeping with him till you find someone better. Also try not to tell guys how many times you've been married. Cuz if you do, they will stop taking you seriously. If you tell him you want to leave, then he will try and set a wedding date which may never happen. So date other people and have fun, life is to short to be somebody else's pet.

Answer 4

Sounds like you've answered your own question.

Now ask yourself, do you WANT to get married to him?
If so, ask HIM what's up!

If you can't ask him, you don't need to marry him.

Answer 5

you missed the boat