Why is it that some people can change so much after the moment you ask them for a divorce. My wife and I got remarried after we got a divorce once before. I know, dumb us, but we thought it was the right thing to do. I felt that I loved her but wasn't in love with her any more and asked her for a divorce. Now she is being extreamly mean, and vindictive. I am still the same guy and am trying to go through this as an adult and a senstive person as I know this whole process is hard. I just don't understand how she changed so much from one moment to the next. Thank you all.
2006-11-23 18:31:38 · 12 answers · asked by scooterdude 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
People change when you ask them for a divorce because it is one of the most painstakingly hurtful things that a person can go through. It feels like your heart is just being ripped apart. A part of you, that once was your spouse is now no longer a part of you or wants anything to do with you. So that is pretty awful for any one to go through. I mean you remarried this person and she probably thought you both had another chance. So now your going through it not just once, but twice with the same person, that is alot to expect from someone to be civil with you. This process may be hard for you as well, but you do have to admit that you remarried for the wrong reason. You did. Her reason is probably different from yours. So don't expect her to feel the same as you do now. People say hurtful things because they are hurting. Even if you thought you knew her before, she is feeling like a failure now because she couldn't get it to work a second time. You sound like your very sensitive to what she is feeling but, she wants you to hurt like she is hurting now. If that makes sense. I wish you both the best.
2006-11-23 18:48:01 · answer #1 · answered by ncamedtech 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is the second divorce? This is what happens to men like you who tell the wife "I was never in love with you." You cut the heart out of her, what do you expect? You have put her through this twice. My ex did that to me, and the second time he did that, he was almost shot. There is only so much a person can take. Did you ask her if you can be friends? As this request usually follows next from the spouse who asked for the divorce. What she doesn`t realize at this moment is that she will be so much happier without you in her life and will able to find someone who will love her.
2006-11-23 18:36:51 · answer #2 · answered by Sparkles 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a hard time believing you are still the same as before. Divorce causes terrible scars that may never heal. There are things said and done during a divorce that are unforgivable. The pain a woman goes through is unbelievable. She imagines all types of issues that are all her fault. I am sure she is having a difficult time trusting you to stay with her this time.
2006-11-23 18:35:04 · answer #3 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You played with your wife's emotions twice over. You can't be
trusted now. Get some help so you can't do this to someone else.
Don't blame her this time around for behaving the way she is.
You confused her because of your own insecurities.
There are two sides to every story and then there's the truth,
but I don't buy it that you are being completely honest here.
I'm sure there's more going on that you're keeping to yourself.
No matter, not now anyway. Call it quits for good now because
obviously marriage isn't for you. She is deserving of someone
better! I hope she finds someone who is head over heels for her.
You're a master at breaking vows and a human wrecking ball!
Marriage is sacred, not a game unless you're playing for keeps.
2006-11-24 16:25:22 · answer #4 · answered by Van T 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what changed is u don't love her anymore, it is not like she believed, her whole world is shattered, your not really too sensitive at all. as a defence mechanism, we do change after we get kicked to the curb, no your not the same guy as u were. all has changed and basically you are the enemy, she thought she had someone who loved her, but she can see now she doesn't, she is disapointed and upset. did u ask her for a divorce because theres someone else, that could be why u don't feel that u love her anymore.
2006-11-24 01:00:45 · answer #5 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are, in fact, a man, you are the first man in the history of the world to run out the bullbleep line, "I love you; I'm just not in love with you." However, I must admit, your description of her reaction makes this unlikely story very believable. I mean, every woman knows that "I love you; I'm just not in love with you" is code for "I'm sleeping with someone else and I don't want you or anyone else to know that I am the piece of trash that I am." Thus, it is no suprise that she "changed," huh?
2006-11-23 19:11:06 · answer #6 · answered by Cing 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow. maybe that's why your marriage isn't working out. If you can't understand why someone would be upset because their love one asked for a divorce then you are emotionally retarded.
2006-11-23 18:35:22 · answer #7 · answered by intangible_me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce is another way of saying one or the other stinks.
Most of the time it is the Woman that stinks.
2006-11-23 18:39:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Because people get defensive and hurt when they are rejected. You hurt her and she wants to hurt you back
2006-11-23 18:45:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
because she's very hurt and angry. and she knows there won't be a third time around so she doesn't give a dam.
2006-11-23 18:35:41 · answer #10 · answered by prettypueo1812 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋