I'm still alive. There are times when I really don't want to be. Today I came close.?

Question

I think the only thing that's keeping me from doing it is ------ I'm scared. If I use a gun, and it isn't enough then I'm scarred and crippled. I'm struggling with a reason not to do it. my wife is leaving me and taking my stepkids. my moms dead, don't know my dad. no friends. what good am i doing using up this oxygen? I promised my sister I'd come to visit in december. I'll keep that promise. but then what? I'm going to be all alone. like i am now writing to strangers.

Answer 1

Suicide is a permanent solution to temporary problems. Get some help, please. Medication can help stabilize you until counseling can help you learn coping techniques to manage your feelings of depression.

And the best cure for feelings of worthlessness and loneliness? Stop thinking of yourself and focus on what you can do for other people. Volunteer. Lose yourself in making life better for others. It's amazing how much better you'll feel.

Answer 2

What is also keeping you from doing this is not just being scared, but you know deep inside that there is a purpose for you being here. You may not know what that purpose is yet, but given enough time you will find it. Don't focus on your circumstances right now. Hard as that may be. Number 1, you really need to get support, emotional support. So this way you do have someone to talk too about things your going through and feeling. They can help you get the support you do need to help you through this time of your life. As you have read already there are alot of supportive people that want to contact you and email you. If nothing else to let you know that the world is not a lonely cold place but it is full of loving, giving people. So I commend you for being courageous and stepping away from doing harm to yourself. Seek out a friend, seek out those that are offering you their friendship. It is a step in the right direction. Then that will lead to another and another and before you know it your starting a new life over and feeling something you haven't felt in a long time,,,happiness. So hang in there ok.

Answer 3

At one time I was bad physical health and on my second marraige to yet another hateful man.I could not work and I felt like there would never again be happiness in my life. I got a divorce after some new meds allowed my health to improve. When I was not even trying I found my soul mate. I did not even believe that such a thing existed. We have a wonderful marraige. My sons love him too. Life truly is a box of chocolates. Get out more. Make new friends and meet new people. YOu never know. Try doing some volunteer work in your free time. Take some night classes of some kind. Meet people that are different from your ordinary group. Open your mind

Answer 4

I know how you feel,Because I have been there more than once too.But what all of these people are saying is correct,Sounds like you have depression.There is help for this and you must not be embarrassed to go for help.

I too don't really have friends in my life.I have 2 sisters,But they are often to busy to talk to me.And my Mom is 83 and I will loose her one day soon.I have 2 kids that are so disrespectful to me.and they act like they don't want to be around me,Because I have depression.But I have been on meds for this and they do help a lot.But I guess not good enough for my kids.It breaks my heart every day and I cant see my grand baby's. We all have problems and sometimes life sucks..But PLEASE don't hurt yourself,I would love to be friends with you..Just email me and maybe we can get a good friendship going.I need you too.So maybe we could help each other.I will pray for you.And looking forward to hearing from you..

Answer 5

I'm sorry your hurting many of us have been down that road and its never easy. But your thinking all wrong here. your thinking of everything bad now the wife leaving the kids mom is dead and so on and so forth. You need to have a different outlook on this situation and turn it around into your favour one that will see you through this hard time your going through. Your letting the dark side in and thats normal to a certain degree we all get down depressed and sad. but it must only be a bump in the road it must never keep you down.

Try making a list of things your thankful for. You have your health your not dying of cancer your not a parapelgic drinking from a straw and someon having to feed and bath you. You can get up in the morning open the curtains and soak in the warmth of the sun. YOu can take a long walk on the beach if you wanted to. You have eyes to see the beauty of the blue sky . Your ears can hear so you can hear the birds chirping. Give thanks on yoru list of things you do have. and as far as the wife and kids . you can always be a part of the kids lives if you so wish to do so. The love you had will be memories and you have grown from this marriage you have learned in it maybe by sharing or comprimising and you will take this knowledge on to the next nice woman you meet and give her your love and show her all the wonderful things you have to offer. and she will do the same back to you. Many people lose the ones they love in life either through divorce or death but we must go on living. Trust in God he never gives you mmore than you can handle. and although its painful now your strong and you can get through this. you just need to look at this as a stepping stone in your life for something better to come . were all here on earth to learn . sometimes people come into our lives for long periods sometimes its only for a lesson. and the lesson is learned and we move on. Some take different paths in life we grow apart or at different speed or have different wants doesn't mean you are a failure so the marriage has ended welcome to the real world . its 50/50 these days and its never a failure to have loved and shared with someone its a blessing no matter how long it was for. its just ended its run now and you move on and hold up your head and remember what a fine man you are and will be again to someone else in life.

So write your list of positive things you have then write a list of your accomplishments then write out goals you still wish to acheive and get back up on that horse and ride.

You will be fine my dear. You just call in your inner strength inside and beat this okay. but remember to focus on the positives and tell yourself every day your WORTH IT. cause you are.

Good luck and God Bless!

Answer 6

Ive been in that situation but don't do it.Death is a permanent thing. You don't know whats after life.You can fix it wile your still here. Let me tell you, I've acutely had a gun to my head but I didn't have the guts to do it and I'm glad. theirs all ways Tomarrow and you will grow out of this depression. Pray or do something to fulfill that emptiness in side of you. When your filling down try to sleep it off. Try to talk to people like call a crises line. I hope you feel better just try to keep positive and stay up. Things will get better.

Answer 7

We are never alone. and there will be alot of pain in the future for you. but it gets better and you get stronger. This is a good time to reflect on the relationship . look at the good. look at the bad. see what went right. look for what went wrong. then learn. it's important that in the end you forgive her and yourself. Maybe you should extend your stay with you sister or move closer. and go out and make some friends. co workers is a good pool to start with. you like playing cards? try out yahoo games at least it'll keep your mind busy.Death is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I also believe it to be the unforgivable sin. but i believe in God.

Answer 8

There are times in everyone life that seem so bad...But it will get better..roll with it for awhile..then when the feeling come around again then deal with that the best way you can..If you need someone to talk to about this I'm here...And for all those that will tell you to see a doc..that's good but it doesn't seem like the answer you want..I think you no what I'm talking about...Good Luck..I'm here if you need to get it out...

Answer 9

Don't do it!!! I tried to hang myself before but it malfunctioned and I was so happy that I didn't. You can get a new woman and have kids of your own! There is no greater love than the love you feel when you have your own children!!! I love my man, but I love my kids WAY more than I love him. Think about all there is to life to experience-- traveling, having children, seeing your sister. . . Don't do it. I'm on anti-depressants now and they really work for me. Talk to a counselor- you may just be depressed and if so, it's really not a big deal. I hope you don't take your life away from the world.

Answer 10

First off, Things will only getting better, You can only be at rock bottom for so long. But, go to a doctor, they can help you with this problem... Its a mental thing, a disorder to feel this way. And trust me, this is not the way to go, because think of all the happy moments that are ready to come into your way, You just have to be ready for them, and believe they will come. If you dont believe, well then you do got nothing to live for.