I caught mine cheating with someone else, was willing to give him a second chance but i dont trust him at all, and i do revenge on him without his knowing.. fair? or bad? But we can't let each others go after been together for a long time..we completely destroyed our vows but still together as like normal couple. Weird? Bad or what?
2006-11-23 17:52:57 · 20 answers · asked by Confused kitty 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
That's bad. First of all, he cheated on you and completely broke off trust with you. And now you are retaliating by cheating on him back. So both of you are being unfair by lying and cheating to each other..sound like a happy, normal couple to you?
2006-11-23 17:55:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
IF A MAN WANTS YOU
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change = yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. They don't respect women or children. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, Why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man.
Oh Lord! If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr.. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
2006-11-23 18:48:50 · answer #2 · answered by Photographer 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
An eye for an eye will only make this relationship worst than what it's arleady is. You cheating on your husband will not make thing any better. I am not sure about trusting him 100% after cheating, I don't know if I could even trust him 50%. It takes two to want to work on this relationship. You have to give him the benefit of doubts for things he say. Him on the other hand gotta earn his trust from you again. It's normal for you to not trust him afterall, he did betray your trust. This will take a long time for the two of you to patch things up. Start having open communication let him know how you feel and he shall do the same as well.....
2006-11-23 18:00:21 · answer #3 · answered by uniqaznmeg 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry this marriage sounds like it has been through a tornado.
You are not normal couple by any means and I would say if the trust is over with your man and you have been seeking revenge whatever that means it is over. Bad, Weird Strange and completely insane wake-up divorce is only conclusion that or marriage counselling think hard if you see yourself never been able to trust him agian end it you are not doing anything for the relationship but spreading out the time if the closure.
2006-11-23 19:13:47 · answer #4 · answered by Livinrawguy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh no I'm so sorry to hear that. Well, i'm kind of in the same thing as well currently. I've loved my boyfriend for 5 years straight, and we've been together off and on. He'd cheat on me always with his ex, or sometimes what seems to be a random girl. I'd cry and always take him back. But I've learned a few things from an ex I just broke up with recently, and I'm not taking that bull anymore. I'm terrified when he's not around because of what he could be doing. I've loved him more than ever right now so it's bothering me the most. You shouldn't revenge him, because it's just not right on your part. In my view, I don't find it weird, especially if you still deeply love him. If you catch him again, I wouldn't go back, you'll just end up hurting yourself again, as I have many times.
2006-11-23 17:56:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know 2 wrongs dont make a right. He cheated on you and you caught him. Sad to say once the trust has been drug through the mud its a little hard to just trust that person completely like nothing happened. You cheated on him--does this really sound normal to you?
Try some counseling-if he wont go with you go without him.
2006-11-23 18:00:55 · answer #6 · answered by firefly06 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not weird, not bad, just human. You will never be able to trust him again. You may forgive but you won't forget! I promise, I tried. Revenge, gets you into a sticky situation. If he knew then he may not be able to handle it and forgive you as you have him and the relationship will end. If he found out then he may get his own revenge again. Then again, he may just consider you even. However, men do not usually consider the even playing field or that what is good for the goose is good for the gander. They often cannot handle a woman's infidelity. Now, if he didn't know and you did, then you may have the satisfaction in your mind that he didn't completely play you because you did the same. Just be careful because revenge can backfire.
2006-11-23 17:59:25 · answer #7 · answered by micg 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nah hun you're just normal!!! Revenge sounds good but you will hate yourself after for sinking as low as him. You can lose trust, but it's damn hard to build. You guys can probably move past this if you both put the effort in, with counselling or whatever, but you have to find out what he's lacking (if anything!) or what enticed him to stray. Sounds like you are still in love with him, regardless, as you're willing to give him a 2nd chance, but it's going to be hard for you and your marriage at times, trust-wise. Be strong and good luck.
2006-11-23 18:59:42 · answer #8 · answered by holdengal81 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GUILTY
I now what you mean I had the same problem with my ex and stayed with him for a further 8 years after I found he cheated with my best mate for 12 mths.
OUCH.
I loved him dearly and I didn't want to betray my vowels because of his infidelity..
We had kids,jobs and a mortgage
BUT
then I found out it wasn't just 1 female but three after I discovered I had Chlamydia and he was the only one I slept with..
So Hun yes I went back but it hurt me more to get so sick and nearly loose my kids as well then lost my job because of cheater who know has the house and his gr8 job..
My Message is be warned as Cheaters never change there spots..
2006-11-23 18:00:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Learn to forgive and trust again. Its easy to trust someone trustworthy, but the challenge to rebuild a relationship after a trust is broken. Everyone makes mistakes and forgiveness maybe required, which is tough to do. If he repeats his mistakes then you have to bail out of the relationship. Life is not easy but courage to enjoy it. So...work on the forgiveness part and he should work on the honor part.
2006-11-23 17:58:47 · answer #10 · answered by Laughing Man Copycat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋