How do you let down your wall so you can trust?
2006-11-23 17:14:33 · 15 answers · asked by daydreamer 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It takes time and it depends on how secure you are with yourself. If you expect to trust someone after they have betrayed you in a very short time, you are wrong. Trust is very fragile and takes a long time to rebuild. Your partner, friend , etc or whoever lost your trust has to earn it. They must be squeaky clean for a while and do what they can by demonstrating that they are sorry for abusing your trust and are willing to work to regain it. If it is just a matter of, hey, I did this or that or whatever it was and they say, it is over, I won't do it again.... suck it up...........they are selfish and will probably redo whatever it was they did. Any one who truly wants you to trust them again and who realizes how important it is to trust, will be willing to work hard to show you they are worthy of your trust.
2006-11-23 17:23:29 · answer #1 · answered by Smartypants 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
IF A MAN WANTS YOU
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Stop trying to change = yourselves for a relationship that's not meant to be.
Slower is better.
Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends." A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. They don't respect women or children. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, Why would he treat you any differently?
Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
Never let a man define who you are.
Never borrow someone else's man.
Oh Lord! If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
All men are NOT dogs.
You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two-way street.
You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.
Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr.. Right.
Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him- he takes it for granted.
Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
2006-11-23 18:50:57 · answer #2 · answered by Photographer 6 · 6⤊ 0⤋
If there is something in your gut that is nagging at you not to trust someone....you must trust it or it WILL come back and bite you on the butt. Believe me I know. And if there is something pulling at you to work the issues out then you should trust that as well. I have found that each time I rejected what deep down I knew to be true....I always got screwed. Trust should be earned...and once a person proves shady I don't give them another chance to play me again. In my situation I ended up lashing out at the one person who never lied to me and then turned around and allowed myself to be suckered by manipulative liars with hidden agendas....you lose your balance when you don't trust yourself. The wall comes up as a result of not trusting yourself anymore. You just have to trust that the people that are meant to be in your life will be...and the ones that aren't will be filtered out by showing their true colors....
2006-11-23 17:33:12 · answer #3 · answered by bepatrice 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
some people dont deserve your trust. the wall you have isnt a bad thing. i use to give EVERYONE the benefit of the doubt and you had my trust until you broke it, yea, well thats how you get hurt. instead of learning how to trust everyone, its better to let people EARN your trust. yes, not everyone is bad and out to hurt you, but 80% of the people you come in contact with will, so why trust them? people make mistakes i know, but a lot of people use that to excuse behavior they know is bad. the past is the past, but its there to learn from so you dont make the same mistake twice! good luck and happy thanksgiving!
2006-11-23 17:19:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You don't "get over" trust issues. Trust is earned. You just may need more time to trust someone because of your particular personality or personal relationship history. Nothing wrong with that.
Be true to yourself and your instincts.
2006-11-23 17:30:43 · answer #5 · answered by SafetyDancer 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is hard...you just have to get to know the person really well. When you feel really close to someone, you can finally open up to them and trust.
...and if someone betrayed the trust, you have to decide if that person deserves your trust back. If they do, you have to start from square one and build it back up.
2006-11-23 17:21:12 · answer #6 · answered by Kbailey 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WOW. Now that is a really good question!! I have been divorced for 10 yrs.and I still don't want to put my wall down. I have searched for this answer,And I really don't have the answer to it.
2006-11-23 17:30:25 · answer #7 · answered by quietthoughts777 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if there is no trust there is nothing. any relattionship without trust is doomed. if you want love you need to trust. won't that set you up to get hurt? yes it does. and good lesson learn, comes from getting hurt.Open your heart and trust someone.
2006-11-23 17:57:25 · answer #8 · answered by Ryan S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
are you a Christian? trust can be difficult because you can never trust a person...people are up and down...but God is always the same. i would only date Christians because somewhere in their heart (although no one is perfect) they have a sense of obligation to God and in that comittment there's a desire to be honest...they should want to be trust worthy. and when you walk with God He reveals anything hidden...if you pray as you go nothing goes on too long without u finding out. put your trust in God, not man, he will let you down everytime.
2006-11-23 17:57:26 · answer #9 · answered by Kiki 2 · 4⤊ 2⤋
Trust is very like a mirror that is broken , it can not be the same .
2015-12-17 23:27:26 · answer #10 · answered by MRC 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋